DS9 Caption Contest #55: The Kai, ya Winn some, ya lose some...

[LeadHead]

Good evening everyone! Sorry for the late start, but enough apologies, lets have more winners!

First up to the plate, we have "The Rush Limborg Lifetime Achievement Award" going to:

Nog: And Berman says that DS9 will run for another season.
Dax: That's fantastic.
Kira: And that you'll be replaced by a sexier version.

Next, we have the "Don't Deny The Sisko!" Award, going to:

Sisko: "I don't care what the series bible says, I want money, and I want it now!

Next, we have the "Klingon Olympics" Award, going to:

WORF: So who ever tosses the Ferengi farthest wins?

NOG: Wait....what???

Next, we have the "Dangerous Games" Award, going to:

O'Brien (sighs): "Okay, so you were playing Truth or Dare with Nog and he picked dare. What's any of that got to do with me?
Jake: "I dared him to grab an Irishman's ass then run like hell!"

Next, we have the "Who knows when this will end? Oh? I should? Whoops..." Award, going to:

Dax: According to this DS9 has so many recurring characters that Leadhead will have to run the contest until July 2067 to get through all of them.

Martok: "Actually, when I said 'get me the jumbo shrimp,' this wasn't what I had in mind."

Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! Lets get on to our next character caption contest and spend some time with, well, she's gotta be SOMEBODY'S favorite Kai...

See ya in two weeks!

 

[LeadHead]

Sisko: Nobody walks away from me! I'm THE SISKO!

Kira: Kai Winn... if you can't tell how happy I am to see you, just look into my eyes.

Kai Winn: What is it, Emissary?

Sisko: The Prophets! They're singing Justin Bieber songs! It's Awful!

Kai Winn: And now, I officially become the leader of the new religion: Kiraism! Worship me!

Bajoran: You mean Worship Kira, right?

Kai Winn: Yeah.... right...

Kai Winn: Ah, so that's where I left the matches...

 

[Nerys Myk]

KAI WINN: Really child? Face it, you're no Edward James Olmos.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Winn: No, child, I do not know what happened to Caption Contest #54, so please stop staring at me like that.

 

[LeadHead]

Winn: No, child, I do not know what happened to Caption Contest #54, so please stop staring at me like that.

I accidentally made the last 2 contests #53. So I skipped ahead.

 

[Rush Limborg]

First up to the plate, we have "The Rush Limborg Lifetime Achievement Award" going to:

Nog: And Berman says that DS9 will run for another season.
Dax: That's fantastic.
Kira: And that you'll be replaced by a sexier version.

Heh-heh-heh...

Well, at least I'm "known", I guess....


Okay--let's do this.

Winn: SISKO! Beware the Ides of March!

Kira: Kai Winn...I'm gonna leave you now. I know you are very busy...on the day of your "daughter's" wedding.

Sisko: Ah! It BURNS! It...it BLINDS!

Winn: Emmisary...maybe you shouldn't stare directly into the light. Just a suggestion.

Kai Winn: Behold the sign! My child, Kira Nerys...is now being led, though a trance...upon a path unto great understanding.

Disciple: I thought she was just sleepwalking--

Kai Winn: Behold...and despair!

Dukat: Well, you always did have a firey personality....

 

[Ln X]

Winn: You commander are a fraud, the prophecies clearly indicated a bald-headed Starfleet captain would be the Emissary of the Prophets. You are neither of those!

Kai: That's it bend lower my child! Lower still! Now advance forwards! You Kai requires your services and your willing submission...

Winn: Emissary you're supposed to open the box not erm...
Sisko: Oh sorry... When the Prophets call me it can get a bit... sensual.

Kira: (whispering) Eminance...
Winn: What?
Kira: I'm just drowsy...
Winn: But we... we thought from your stillness you were possessed by a Prophet!
Kira: Nah, I drank something from Quark's bar, next thing I know I'm falling asleep everywhere!

Winn: No! I spent weeks studying that book!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

The Bajoran people didn't appreciate Sydney Opera House wisecracks, even from the Emissary.

Kira: "But if I go back and meet my mother, and change history so that I'm never born, does that mean that I won't go back, and then I'll be born again? Oh no, I've gone cross eyed!"
Winn: "The Orb of Time has that effect. I suggest you just enjoy the experience and not think too deeply about it." turns to camera "And the same goes for you people watching at home."

Sisko: "What's in the box? What's in the BOX!"
Winn: "Emissary, I've asked you before, please do not watch Se7en before an orb experience."

Kira couldn't get past the shame of having the Kai tell her that her Tai-chi wasn't strong.

Dukat: "If I'm the goose stepping moron, why are you the one burning books instead of reading them?"

 

[Mage]

Winn: Are you allright Emissary?
Sisko: The Prophets showed me their recipe for Bajoran shrimp. It's..... devine......

 

[Nerys Myk]

FLETCHER: People, please. It was just an Oscar.

NANA: If she mentions that award one more time!!!!!

 

[shivkala]

Winn: Why are you all looking at me? I didn't do it! He did! After all, as the Prophets said, "He who smelt it, most surely dealt it."

Winn: My child, you do not have to bow to me in such a manner, I mean, do you really think I'm that egotistical?

Kira: No, of course not, Eminence, and I'm not bowing, it's just that these uniforms are so tight, sometimes, it's hard to move after lunch...

Winn: Emissary, I don't know what to say, who could have known that Orb of Irritable Bowels would have that effect on you?

Winn: Okay, let's try it again, this time, with a bit more feeling...Amazing Prophets, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...I once was lost, but now am found...

Kira: *thinking* Oh, no, not another round, I swear when this possession ends...

Winn: Well, that's the last time I buy the "hot new book" at a fire sale.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Winn: For the last time, it's "Veddek Winn," and not "Nurse Ratched!" Now get that straight, Hawk! Er, I mean, Emissary ...

Kai Winn: Child, contrary to what you may have heard, looks cannot actually kill. But they can annoy, so I suggest you stop it before I ex-communicate you.

Kai Winn: Hmm, maybe looks can kill after all ...

Director: Nana! Wake up! We're still filming!

Dukat: Don't be afraid of the fire, Adami. It's not like you're going to die being consumed by hellish flames or anything ...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Winn: I once caught a fish THIS BIG!

Kira: Oh Prophets, here she goes again...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Winn: "How dare you! I most definitely have not 'got back'!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Winn: My child, are you all right?

Kira: I'm fine, I just dropped an egg on the Promenade.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"I've asked you all here because I had this really great idea last night, for my upcoming anniversary as station commander. I need 100 Bajorans wearing identical outfits. I thought you could, like, climb into a Bajoran Pyramid and-- wait, Winn, you haven't heard the full plan! Don't leave!"

Winn: "You see now the horrors of our recent past? The occupation was bad, true, but it was nothing compared to the era of Bajoran Disco".

Winn: "Now, my children. I trust that we can continue the ritual in harmony, now that this heretic has been removed from the group".

Kira: "I did exactly what you directed me to do!"

Winn: "I didn't say 'Simon Says'!"

A bleary-eyed Winn remembered only that once they got to the fourth bottle, they had the idea of roasting "holy marshmellows". Rushing back into the study, her worse fears were confirmed.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BAJORAN: What? You said, you wanted a Kindle!

 

[shivkala]

BAJORAN: What? You said, you wanted a Kindle!

WINN: I said, Kindle Touch, not Kindle Fire! Touch! Touch! Touch!

DUKAT: Well, if you insist, Eminence...

 

[david lowbridge]

Thanks for the win...

Winn: Emissary I protest, this is not a fashion contest and my bum does not look big in this.

Kira: Eminence, couldn't you wear high heels instead of me having to crouch to make you look taller?

Kai Winn: Captain, I had to slap your wrist. Don't touch the orbs without permission.

Don't stand down wind of Kai Winn when she has just eaten cabbage, the results may not be pleasent.

Kai Winn: When you said it was hot off the press you weren't joking...

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFT SNR award.

Kira: "You have some nerve!"

Winn: "What are you talking about?"

Kira: "Those are the earrings I was going to wear!"

Winn: "What's the matter?"

Sisko: "This was the wrong day to try plomeek for the first time."