VOY Caption Contest 74: Harry "I can't get a promotion" Kim!

[Ln X]

Thanks to all who participated, and now THE WINNERS!

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The captain's coffee-sexual award goes to:

Tom: Captain, seems that we're stranded alone on the planet, if you'll ever need.. you know.. I'm willing to..
Janeway: Who needs sex? All I need is coffee..

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Nerys Myk points out a feature of the captain's anatomy:

JANEWAY: One of a kind my ass!

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Keith Richard's prune-like face award goes to:

"I'm telling you the truth! I'm not your enemy; I'm Keith Richards, a musician from 21st century Earth! Look, that guy in the next cryo-tube is Mick Jagger; he'll confirm my story!"

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Don't mix vehicles with shuttlecrafts:

Harry: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Tom: Trust me! I've seen it a thousand times in those old shows. Now get us closer so I can shoot out its tyres
Harry:....It's a shuttlecraft, Tom

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The Tom's faux-pas-towards-Seven award goes to:

Seven: "Remove that hand, or have it assimilated into the collective... and no, that is not a euphemism for sex."

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The Tom's-in-the-doghouse award goes to:

Paris: I know you're jealous of the time I've been spending working on this car, but please give back the ignition fuse.

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The epic poetry award goes to:

"Hand over the Dunkin donuts or Robert Duncan goes nuts!"

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This one really caught my attention! Nice one Kirby!

Whoa, careful with that knife. You know not everyone carries their genetalia in the same place.

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The tag caption award goes to both T'Girl and Jonas Grumby:

Paris: "Hey, you've got no call the get snippy with me! Any human woman wearing an outfit that tight would expect to be asked that!"

Seven: "I would respond with a witty repartee Mister Paris, if only this costume were not cutting off the blood flow to my brain."

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And finally the photoshop award goes to:

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Next up is Harry Kim, feel free to sling the mud on him, ridicule him and stuff. For a guy who never got promoted he did quite a bit in his time on VOY.

And so here are the next patch of pics to be captioned, I've tweaked the size so the image quality is better. Have fun!

Enjoy!

 

[Ln X]

Doctor Evil: Unbelievable! There is nothing down there!
Kim: Sssh!!! Don't tell anyone!

Harry: I hear my train coming... So make love to me one more time...

Harry: Cool! It's a pizza dispenser!
Doctor: (sighs) Raw cadet you see... They always confuse tricorder readings...

Janeway: Because you pissed me off ensign, you're going to be drinking this swill until you pass out!

Cow: Thanks!
Kim: What!?! Tom! The cow talks!

Kim's captaincy was destined to fail.

THIS IS WHY KIM SHOULD NEVER BE PROMOTED!!!

 

[jespah]

Next up is Harry Kim, feel free to sling the mud on him, ridicule him and stuff. For a guy who never got promoted he did quite a bit in his time on VOY.



And so here are the next patch of pics to be captioned, I've tweaked the size so the image quality is better. Have fun!

Lost has been cancelled? Damn, we missed everything!

"It happens all the time, but never to guys who get promoted."

It appears to be a giant sex toy, Doc.

Uh, Captain, you just put salad dressing in my tea.
Shut up and learn to like it, Mister Kim!

Harry often confused cow tipping with cow French kissing.

Pay no attention, just ignore it and it'll go away. Just like my career.

But I really did turn left at Albuquerque!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WOMAN: So, is this your first time?

HARRY: Sort of.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Dammit! I managed to get the slipstream corrections sent back to Seven's cortical node, I attached the file for my younger self, but there's no more room for my PowerPoint with bullet points explaining to Captain Janeway reasons I deserved a promotion!"

"Wow. Everything I could possibly have ever wanted. I'm back in the Alpha Quadrant, on Earth and I just had sex with Libby... I better get back to Voyager!"

"Dammit, who put Voyager in Jell-O?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Ln X!

Kim: "But...you said, 'I'm lonely. Can you come over right away?'"
Woman: "Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. My boyfriend is working late tonight, and I just need someone to talk to until he gets here to...you know."
Kim (sighs): "As bizarre as this is, I still should have seen it coming."

Kim: "The ship is being blown apart! All systems are failing! Isn't there anything I can do to help?"
Crewman: "Nah. Just sit tight, Harry, we've got it."

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

Kim: What are they going to do with that cup?
EMH: I tried to warn you!

Woman: You better hurry back to the bridge Harry *Giggles* You're an important member of the crew!

Kim: Frankly Doc, I don't what i'm doing here

Kim: So I drink this and the promotion is mine?

The Delta Quadrant can be a lonely place for a lonely Ensign

Kim: *Sighs* I finally get promoted and the ship explodes, sods law!

Kim: My insurance company will NEVER believe this!

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the photoshop win!

Here's a new one!

Chakotay: I knew there was a reason why you haven't been promoted

 

[T'Girl]

WOMAN: So, is this your first time?

Harry: "You mean with a non-photonic, non-mechanized, non-bovine lifeform? Actual ... "

Crewmember: "You'll have to excuse me, it was burrito lunch surprise today."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Hooker: "So, is this your first time?"

HARRY: "Nnno, but I'm already done"

Hooker: (thinking) "Well that was the easiest $200"

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Everyone keep quiet or Harry will find us.

 

[Supernuke]

Harry had a lot of trouble finding dates on Voyager.

 

[Eydie Munroe]

Woman: It's okay, Harry. It happens to all guys at one time or another...

Kim: No Doc, I don't think we'll be able to find D cell batteries for it in the Delta Quadrant.

KIM: This is the last time I play Truth or Dare with Paris and Seven...

 

[Nerys Myk]

EHM: Why does it keep asking "Can I take your order"?

 

[Eydie Munroe]

Janeway: Chakotay, you never told me you a pilot on the Enterprise...

 

[Disruptor]

"Of course this is all a dream, Harry. You think you could get a girl like me in real life?"

Kim: "Uh...Captain, I think that's gravy."
Janeway: "Shut-up and drink it. At least it's not leeola root."

"It's not every day we alter the timestream to save Voyager's past."

"No, just every season."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Crewmember: Your rank structures sure are strange back in the Alpha Quadrant! Here in the Delta Quadrant, Captains command the ships while the lowly Ensigns get the crap assignments and bitch work.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Kim: I've established contact with starfleet! Accessing my email... a "Dear John" letter from Libby and there's a file attched... a marriage announcement, with Danny Byrd? Oh, come on!

Woman: Assuming that I'm pregnant, there's no chance you'll make Lieutenant before the baby.

Harry: There's a message inside it. "I am being held in the tall tower of Swamp Castle, my father is forcing me to marry against my will, please, please come and rescue me." At last, a cry of distress, this could be the sign that leads us to a way back to the Alpha Quadrant! Brave Doctor, you shall not have died in vain!

The Doctor: I'm uh, not quite dead Sir.

Kim: Does it taste worse than it smells?

Janeway: Yes, down the hatch. That's an order.

Paris: Computer, Activate Emergency Bart Simpson Program.

Bart Simpson: Don't have a cow, man!

Kim: This is Captain Harry Kim of the-

Explosion behind Kim.

Seven: And Seven of Nine is also aboard.

Ensign: They've ceased fire.

Chakotay: This was a great hiding place, Harry! The Borg went right past and didn't even notice Voyager. Now, how do we get the ship out?

Kim: Oops...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Bubbly Ensign next to Kim: "You getting the turkey bisque, Harry? I think I'd rather have the minestrone! Oops! She's undressing Commander Chakotay with her eyes again. Guess I'll just have to take whatever she ladles out."

"Holy crap! We're gonna need a bigger ice scrapper!"

 

[Ln X]

This caption contest is closed! New one right here:

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?p=6100330#post6100330