VOY Caption Contest 73: Fly-boy Tom Paris

[Finn]

Janeway: ...And if you are not willing to take this opportunity, I will post your baby pictures your father used to show everybody on the ship, on spacebook.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ALIEN:It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one

PARIS: Relax, I went to the Sweeney Todd Barber College.

PARIS: No punk kid in a 'vette makes a fool of Tom Paris!!!!!

PARIS: Look I'm sorry about what happened the last time, but you really need to face me when we talk.

PARIS: Compensating??? Compensating for what????

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Paris: "My feet are really starting to itch...and burn!"
Janeway: "Hence the regulation against going barefoot on alien planets before the local flora has been analyzed, Mister 'Rules Are Made To Be Broken'!"

"I'm telling you the truth! I'm not your enemy; I'm Keith Richards, a musician from 21st century Earth! Look, that guy in the next cryo-tube is Mick Jagger; he'll confirm my story!"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Paris: "Personally, I believe that Joan Rivers is wrong. The bags do match the outfits!"

Janeway: "I can't believe she actually called you Tom Paris Hilton."

Alien: "She is proof that The Devil does wear Prada!"

Janeway: "This planet is such a beautiful place. I'll never forget it. I almost hate to leave."

Paris: "Just remember, you'll always have Paris."

Janeway: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Paris (thinking): These 'Hawaii 5-0' holodeck fantasies just keep getting better and better!

 

[TrickyDickie]

Spock: "If we do not stop them, the timeline will be irreversibly skewed and this is the hell that awaits us all!"

Paris: "Can't you make this Silhouette-would-beat-its-ass piece of crap go any faster?!?"

(Later)

Stanley: "All of this for a little piece of film?!?"

Carla: "Can't you make this Silhouette-would-beat-its-ass piece of crap go any faster?!?"

b'elanna: "Where did you get that cool picture?"

Paris: "It was a gift from Spock for helping to save the universe."

(Next door)

Khan: "Why don't you hang up a picture of a real car? You would have saved the day a lot faster in one of these!"

Paris: "In your fantasies, pal. I'd still be sliding around on all of that Corinthian leather."

 

[Kirby]

Whoa, careful with that knife. You know not everyone carries their genetalia in the same place.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win!

Here's another 'shop!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ALIEN: I don't know who this "Rambo" guy is, but I ain't him!

 

[TrickyDickie]

Seven: "For the final time, my outfit does not resemble Catwoman's suit and I will not be your date for the Halloween party!"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kirk: "I am sooo ready for this mission!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: One of a kind my ass!

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

Paris had finally tracked down the designer of his shirt!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Tom Paris' Stories of the Highway Patrol

 

[boco]

Tom: I have to pee, captain
JAneway: You may pee behind a tree, but it's better if you wait till we get to the village

Tom: I have to pee
JAneway: Almost there, Tom

Tom: Pull on the right, you a$$hole ,I'm in a hurry, I gotta pee!

 

[Bob Karo]

Paris: Wait, what happened to that French-Canadian captain?

 

[Finn]

Paris: Sure, as long as I don't wear orange. It clashes with my hair.

Paris: Let's hold hands...

Janeway: Not even if we were lizards

 

[Nerys Myk]

ALIEN: I can't believe we lost Regionals

PARIS: Maybe if had spent more time rehearsing and less time making these outfits.

 

[LeadHead]

Paris: I've never seen a Federation Starship that could manuever through the plasma storms.

Janeway: You've never seen Voyager, we increased maneuverability and sacrificed speed, but I'm sure that won't be needed to escape any large displacement waves in the badlands.

Janeway: No, I won't do it.

Alien: You will Riverdance and you will like it!

Paris: Just to be clear, ONLY B'Elanna gets to call me "Flyboy."

Rain Robinson: Oh, Come on. We don't need to-

Paris: That truck cut us off! Hope he's got insurance...

Seven: Yes, the Borg do have the complete galactic knowledge of techniques and positions, why do you ask?

Paris: I know you're jealous of the time I've been spending working on this car, but please give back the ignition fuse.

Choatica: Leave this place, Proton! I have taken Buster Kincaid as a hostage!

Paris: Do you have any better hostages?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

(marching)
Man: I don't know but I've been told!
Janeway/Paris: I don't know but I've been told!
Man: Kathryn Janeway's mighty cold!
Paris: Kathryn Janeway's mighty cold!
Janeway: Wait, WHAT?