TOS Caption Contest #248: Awkward Moments!

[The Castellan]

Kirk: Zzzzzzzzzzzz..............

 

[The Castellan]

Picard: THERE....ARE.....THREE....SPOCKS!!!!!!!

 

[jep]

Pike: "Hey Talosian... you've got toilet paper stuck to your ass."


.

 

[Gary7]

Pike: "Hey Talosian... you've got toilet paper stuck to your ass."

(when we were kids, my sister and I used to call the Talosians "Hiney heads").

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "OK, I'll take you to the prom, but don't get any ideas about going steady."

Although Kirk thought Charlie had learned to worship the ground he walked on, Charlie was merely searching for a lost contact.

 

[Captain Tracy]

CHARLIE: "Hey Captain!,... Wanna see me pull a rabbit out of your butt?
KIRK: Oh no, not THAT shitty trick again!

SCOTT: Aye Sir,... just as you suspected,... they have completely blown-out the tranfery-coil,... right along with every speaker on-board,... it's that infernal 'Rap Music' they keep playing in here.

KIRK: (to self) ... just think about ANYTHING else,.... baseball,... income tax,.... Grand-Mothers,..... just stay DOWN!!

KIRK: ... that's right,... and every night by sitting right here,... and bouncing up and down,... you help make the Captain's tummy go down.

ELAAN: But what good will that do?,... Every morning, you make me kneel down and blow you back up.

McCOY: ,.... NINJA!!!!!

DIRECTOR: (o.s.) .... CUT!!!!

Now open on Talos IV,... SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIOS

 

[jep]

Pike: "Yep, the left one is real. Now, let's see about the other one."


.

 

[Captain Tracy]

McCOY: TIGER, TIGER!!!,... burning bright!!,... In the forest,.. of the NIGHT!!!!

BUM: Yeah,... I heard that one before, thanks.

McCOY (mustering new confidence) Oh,.. well, how about,.... SATURN RINGS around my head,.. DOWN a road that's MARTIAN RED!!!

BUM: Look fella, I don't go in for that Beatnik stuff,... Have you heard the one about the 'Man from Nantucket'?

 

[Captain Tracy]

McCOY: ...BATMAN!!!!!

DIRECTOR: (o.s.) ...CUT!!!

BUM: ....WHAT THE.... You ain't Father Flannigen!!!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

BUM: Swear to god officer, I aint got no gun!

MCCOY: I'm not a cop!

BUM:

 

[Captain Tracy]

McCOY: Typically...

SPOCK: ... Predictable.

McCOY: ...NOW COUGH!!!

DIRECTOR: (o.s.) ... CUT!!!!

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "OK, I'll take you to the prom, but don't get any ideas about going steady."

Spock: "OK, I'll take you to the prom, but don't get any ideas about going steady."

Bum: "OK, I'll take you to the prom, but don't get any ideas about going steady."

Kirk: "OK, I'll take you to the prom, but don't get any ideas about going steady."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: You're doing it wrong.

SPOCK:You're doing it wrong.

BUM:You're doing it wrong.

KIRK:You're doing it wrong.

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Hey, you took my phaser--I can feel it in your pocket!"
Bum: "Phaser? What the... no, that's my pocket shaver, honest. And I bought it at Woolworth!"

 

[CorporalCaptain]

McCoy: We'd like to watch.

Keeper: We'd like to watch.

Real Pike: We'd like to watch.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Well, it's your decision, Dohlman. But if you do, you might want to drop by sickbay afterwards. Our captain's been around the block a few times."

 

[Captain Tracy]

TAKEI: (Reading Inscription) "From the magic land of Japan,... Where the hand can be used like a knife",... GINSU KNIFE by RONCO".

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Why don't you two get a roo..... oops, I guess you did

SPOCK You said you'd have this all set up in time for the Super Bowl!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Alright, Mr. Spock, I'll be up to the bridge in ten minutes."
Dohlman: "Ten minutes! I think I've changed my mind, Captain!"

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Illusion Pike and Vina: We'd like to watch.