Voyager Caption Contest #57: Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

[Gary7]

Kim: "Preliminary scan shows the engine and drive train are functional. The battery is charged. And it has a full tank of gas."
Tuvok: "Very well. Mr. Paris, you have much experience with vehicles of this era. Can you drive it?"
Paris: "I'm pretty sure I can. But Tuvok, we can't fit everybody in the cab."
Tuvok: "The ensigns will have to ride in the back."
Kim: "Hey--there's manure back there!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Harry: It's 60,000 light years to the Alpha Quadrant. This car has a full tank of gas. We've got half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing Starfleet uniforms.

Paris: Hit it.

 

[Mistral]

Tuvok: "We are tired of finding roaches in the mess hall, Mr. Neelix."

Neelix: "It's not my fault! They piggyback in on the cases of leola root!"

 

[Gary7]

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, that is the ferocious creature you called security for?"
Neelix: "Well look at it! Those evil beady eyes. The razor sharp teeth and claws. Size matters not--I've seen small creatures fell large beasts before."
Security Guard: "It's a gerbil, Neelix!"

 

[Gary7]

Chakotay: "Kathryn, I don't get it. What's with the wig and your sudden interest in the Fabrini?"
Janeway: "You will address me as Natira, as the Oracle wishes it! I think it's time for you to receive the instrument of obedience.""

 

[Schistocerca]

Tuvok: "Ok you've had your fun, now give him his money back"
Sales assistant: "But he bought the apron on sale and I told him exchange only and no refunds!"

 

[Schistocerca]

Tuvok's mental strength and Vulcan stamina saw him win the touch the truck contest with ease!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway: "You will address me as Natira, as the Oracle wishes it! I think it's time for you to receive the instrument of obedience.""

Side note: I have fantasies of Janeway talking to me like that.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, that is the ferocious creature you called security for?"
Neelix: "Well look at it! Those evil beady eyes. The razor sharp teeth and claws. Size matters not--I've seen small creatures fell large beasts before."
Security Guard: "It's a gerbil, Neelix!"

Gerbil (to Neelix)"Daddy?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUVOK: Looks like the shuttle building team is running short on materials.

 

[LeadHead]

Russ: What do you think about doing a Voyager movie now, Mister Abrams?

 

[Isis]

Harry (OS): "Aw, c'mon. Aren't you over-reacting? All I did was put my alarm on 'snooze' for an extra five minutes."

 

[Isis]

Harry (OS): "You people are no fun. They didn't treat Dorothy like this when she woke up."

 

[Isis]

Prisoner Twist: "Please, sir, I want some more."

Neelix: "I didn't realize my denture-cleaning solution was so popular."

 

[LeadHead]

Tuvok: No, you will not kill Mister Neelix. I will.

Neelix: Yeah! Wait, what?!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Just to give you guys a heads up. I will be running this contest until Monday, August 1st, which is just a couple of days later than usual. Apologies for the delay, but it can't be helped. Thanks for understanding!

 

[Mistral]

Yeoman Randi: "Just to give you guys a heads up. I will be running this contest until Monday, August 1st, which is just a couple of days later than usual. Apologies for the delay, but it can't be helped. Thanks for understanding!"

Tuvok: "Understanding, my ass, I've got other things to do!"

 

[SPCTRE]

Tuvok: No, you will not kill Mister Neelix. I will.

Neelix: Yeah! Wait, what?!

 

[Vulpes]

Tuvok shows off his invention, the CNC spirograph.

"Dammit! I can never get all four aces!"

Neelix [thinking]: Why don't I get a phaser?

Tuvok: I got it from this old junk dealer named Sanford.

Neelix was having so much fun with his new sewing machine that volunteered to sew new sleeves on prisoner's torn jumpsuits.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUVOK: Quick give me a nickle... she's almost naked!

NEELIX: We were out of Fava Beans