Voyager Caption Contest #53: This Contest Has a Title

[Yeoman Randi]

Greetings fellow Voyagers! Get to your posts cos it's time to beam up da winnas!

God if they only knew!!!!!!

Janeway: "Sh... I can hear them pounding away on their keyboards with their meaty little hands, chortling at their own juvenile wit."

I'm such a sucker for the classics....

ALIEN: What does the yellow light mean?

OTHER ALIEN: Slow down

ALIEN What. Does. The. Yellow. Light. Mean.
(ah the classics)

You know you were good when .......

Axum: "Oh, my God, Seven, you were fantastic! From now on, I'm calling you 'Eight'!"

I LOL'd!!!

Please state the nature of the photoshop emergency.

This entry was positively brilliant!

LaForge: seventy thousand light years away, mumbling in his sleep: "Coolant leak! We have a coolant leak!"

Rolls under imaginary engineering door and falls out of bed.

Luckily i was drinking cawfee and NOT chicken noodle soup. I think the noodles would have been a bit messy coming out of my nose:

Janeway (thinking): Oh, my beloved rock... I know you love me the most. Not Harry or B'Elanna... but me.

Congrats to da winnas and thank you to everyone who played. I'll remember you all in my will!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now it's time to put on your thinking caps and get to it~

As usual, i'll let this brew for two weeks. Until then, have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[BlobVanDam]

Tuvok - Wasn't this an episode of Dr Who?

Janeway - Tuvok, look at these designs. This is amazing! We must take this blueprint with us.
Tuvok - It appears to be a coffee maker.
Janeway - I know! And it looks AMAZING.

Neelix - Mr Kim, I think you've misunderstood the Doctor's directions. This isn't the kind of "sample" he asked you for.

Janeway - Screw it. Let's just shoot it now, and we'll all be home for dinner.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Harry: Whoa, look at my hand!

Chakotay: Harry, remember when I said it was a bad idea for you and Tom to replicate LSD?

Harry: Huh? Why are you being such a buzz kill?

Seven: You have only five more seconds before your blood boils and your flesh explodes in this planet's atmosphere.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Tuvok: I fail to see the logic in referring to you as "Agent Smith."

 

[Velocity]

Janeway: We've been invaded by a tomato aspic, Tuvok.
Tuvok: Looks more appetizing than leola root, doesn't it?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Yeoman Randi!

Tuvok: "Four against one? I'm still not scared! Bring on another one, bitch!"

Janeway: "Wow, these blueprints are terrific! Except...why is the main bridge rotated 34 degrees from the centerline?"

Kim: "Well, I'll be damned! Oddly enough, viles of nitroglycerin are not on the TSA's banned items list! Enjoy your flight, sir!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Tuvok: "My apologies gentlemen, I didn't expect to see you here."

Doctor 1: "He didn't think there would be holograms in his holodeck. Why would there be?"

Doctor 3: "Avoiding us as usual, fleshy?"

Doctor 2: "I think you're in the wrong side of the ship, fleshy."

 

[Supernuke]

Doctors: Finally, I've been stuck like this for hours! Help me!!

 

[BlobVanDam]

Janeway: "Wow, these blueprints are terrific! Except...why is the main bridge rotated 34 degrees from the centerline?"

Lucky I had no liquids in my mouth, or they'd be all over my keyboard right now.

 

[Finn]

Tuvok: What do you mean, the Cowboy? And I don't know any Coach Cutlip.

Tuvok: What the...a drawing of Data?

Harry: Sorry, tell the Doc I ran out of samples.

Neelix: They are Leola Root shots, Harry.

Janeway: Really? People will discuss about how we handled this place for years?

Caretaker: Yes

Tuvok: Anything else?

Caretaker: No...Oh yes, one more thing, Tuvok.

Tuvok: What is it?

Caretaker: Be careful when you beam up with that Talaxian.

Kim: There it is! My new pip is on that ledge. Let's run over!

Chakotay: Sorry, Umm... I'm out of air. We gotta beam up immediately.

Seven: Um..., I have a dating class with the doctor. You know how he is when I'm late.

Harry: *beaming away* NOOOOOO!

 

[Shon T'Hara]

TUVOK: Captain, I think you'll find these plans fascinating. They're entitled "Mr. Kim's Booty Club."

JANEWAY: Here's one for Mistress Janeway's Dungeons!

NEELIX: Mr. Kim, how do you expect the club to be successful if you only play Spice Girls?

TUVOK: Mr. Kim reprogrammed you for what?
DOCTOR 1: Emergency Sextoy Program.
DOCTOR 4: He assures us there's great demand for our services on this ship.

JANEWAY: What is it?
TUVOK: A Talaxian disco ball. They're supposed to create an orgiastic mood.
JANEWAY: That's it! I want him off my ship.

HARRY: And over there will be the champagne room! And down in that valley we'll have the steam works.
SEVEN: Chakotay, the captain told us to return to the ship as soon as we'd set up his tent.
CHAKOTAY: Wait, I want to hear more about the steam works.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: I've pick the design I want for my tramp stamp.

NEELIX: Here are my urine samples, just like the Doctor ordered. Where do I put them?

KIM: Trash them. We made that up to keep you out of our hair for while.

TUVOK: Just when I thought this day could not get any worse.

TUVOK: A Blancmange!!!

JANEWAY: Why do I suddenly feel Scottish?

CHAKOTAY: Harry, you might want to start reading the landing party protocols a little more closely.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kim: Hark! What light through yonder window breaks?
Chakotay: It's a cloud of photo-responsive noxious gasses, Kim. And you have no environmental suit.

Treating the Doctor's multiple-personality disorder proved more difficult than Tuvok anticipated.

 

[Isis]

Tuvok: "Frigging aliens. They only made Spock choose between two Kirks. They make me choose between four EMHs. Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss eeny, meeny, miny, moe."

 

[Balrog]

Tuvok: "I'm sorry, Doctor, but this wasn't what I meant by a second opinion."

Janeway: "God, I hate these Starfleet IKEA directions..."

Neelix: "Maybe to you it's hydraulic fluid, Mr. Kim, but to me it's tonight's main ingredient for Talaxian Souffle!"

Caretaker: "Would you mind hurrying this up? I have a guest shot as green slime on Nickelodeon later tonight."

 

[Bob Karo]

Tuvok: I'll remotely use the array to return us to the alpha quadrant...

Janeway: No, we can't let this fall into the wrong hands.

Tuvok: Then we can rig a timer to...

Janeway: Nope.

Tuvok: Team of redshirts?

Janeway: No.

Tuvok: Do you even want to go home?

Janeway: You can not imagine the credit card debt I've racked up. I can't go back.

 

[Mistral]

The Doctor was beside himself over Tuvok's attitude.

 

[Distorted Humor]

Tuvok: Aha, my anti-Marquis program is running, something is up.

ESH 1-4 - What is the nature of your security emergency?

Would you look at this Bajorian lightship design? Perhaps it could get us home quicker if we found subspace eddies...

I hate to say this Kim, but these samples have more personality then you do.

The producers wanted a Alien that was "Alien" and he meant something like the Vorlons. And we get a semi-transparent rotting tomato.

Seven: Shouldn't we beam him up before he dies?

Chakotay: Sometimes you have to make hard choices to save the ship, Kim will never make Lt. He had family connections to make it though the academy.

Kim: I never knew that the back of my hand looks so neat. Look...Why is it hard to breath?

 

[Velocity]

Janeway: "Dammit Tuvok! I told you to keep Naomi Wildman out of my ready room! She's scribbled all over my designs for my holodeck Irish Village!"
Tuvok: "Yeah, that's a real shame, that is."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Janeway: "What sort of warm beverage would be yielded if we ground this thing up and brewed it?"