Movie Caption Contest #183: Here Comes Trouble

[Rat Boy]

Viewer off, because it's time for another caption contest. It's time to sail into the unknown with...

This probably is what your average writers meeting during the Berman era sounded like...

Kirk: "As you all know, a destructive force of unbelievable power is en route to Andoria-"

Scotty: "BORING."

Kirk: "Ok, fine. Earth. It's heading towards Earth now. Are you happy?"

This has happened in many families, including mine...

Picard: Numbah One, we finally let you sit at the grown-up table for Thanksgiving and you do non-stop silent but deadlys. Back to the kiddie table with you!

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Kirk thinks there's something damn peculiar but doesn't do jack crap about it and Worf really doesn't it like it when Troi gossips about him to Riker. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Reliant? Was that the one where I knocked up the captain's yeoman. Or was that the Valiant?"

Spock: "Their shields are going up."

Kirk: "Not now, Spock. I'm thinking."

Spock: "They're locking phasers!"

Kirk: "No wait, it was the Defiant!"

Worf: "Wait a minute...you...and you? You two did not...?"

*both nod*

Worf: *runs away crying*

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: A friendly ship heading toward us? What a nice change of pace!

Saavik: They just destroyed the Engine Room Captain.

Kirk: Whoops.

Picard: How long before the shockwave hits the observatory?

Riker: Uhhhh....

Troi: Well....

Worf: You see... Data or Geordi always calculate those things...

 

[Smellincoffee]

Riker: You want to drive? (is dubious)
Worf, panicked: Sir, no!

Kirk: But I came all this way for the special!
Voice Onscreen: Sorry, captain, but our breakfast menu is unavailable past 1300.

 

[bullethead]

Kirk was never one to avoid the occasional starship drag race, but when Captain Estaban challenged him to one, everything changed.

Riker: Would you stop staring at it? It's embarrassing enough being one of the only senior officers wearing these things.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK (thinking): When did Chekov get boobs?

WORF: This Imzadi thing is getting out of control. Speak outloud!!!!!

 

[LeadHead]

WORF: This Imzadi thing is getting out of control. Speak outloud!!!!!

Riker: You really want to hear us arguing?

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Riker: Seriously? The last win for a caption contest was a fart joke?? It wasn't that funny to begin with

Troi: Hey don't look at me, I didn't judge it

Riker: Well, when I find out who did, there'll be hell to pay

Worf ducks down

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Saavik: "Starship Reliant now on intercept course."

Kirk: "Are they gonna blow up the Earth?"

Saavik: "No, sir."

Kirk: "Then they mean us no harm."

Sulu: "Sir, they're firing phasers."

Kirk: "Darn."

Riker: "We will have Commander Riker Day, and you will attend."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Make up your mind, Deanna! It's either me or Worf! You can't have both of us at the same time!"
Worf: "Now wait a minute, lets not be too hasty! Let's think about that for a minute..."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Riker: "Guys, I'm jumping over to DS9 before Worf does."

Worf: "Grrr...."

Riker: "Worf, you can have Deanna, I'll take Jadzia."

Worf: "Grrr..."

 

[Rat Boy]

World's shortest Trek movies...

Kirk: "I know for a fact that Terrell called me a pansy behind my back. Fire torpedoes!"

Riker: "Geordi's over there? He stiffed me after he lost that bet. Fire torpedoes!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Riker: "Worf, destroy that bird of prey, then vapourize Soran's complex."

Troi: "What about the Captain?"

Riker: "He's in the Nexus with Kirk."

Worf: #@%ing spoiler whore.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Alley (sotto voce): "Psst! Hey, George! I overhead Shatner talking with Nick Meyer about your promotion-to-captain scene."
Takei: "And...?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Worf: "Klingon Bird of Prey has opened fire!"

Riker: (sigh) "Don't return fire..."

A Paramount executive slips him a 20.

 

[Skywalker]

Riker: "So...threesome?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: I don't believe in a "no win scenario."
Saavik: Or shields?
Kirk: Or shields. Shit ... raise shields!
Spock (off-camera): Too late.

Riker: Okay, you can drive. But don't tell the captain.
Worf: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Riker: What could go wrong? We're in orbit. It's not like she can crash into anything.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Worf: "You had Geordi turn the warp core off after the battle, right?"

Riker: "Yeah, I think so-"

Troi: (sniff sniff) "What smells like antimatter?"

Riker: "Oh sh-"

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Deanna, I think we should get back together and start working on making The Next Generation.

Worf: (facepalm) Oh brother...

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Worf: ''If you were anyone else, I would kill... DAMN IT (slams the tactical console), wrong script again!''
David Carson (OS): ''CUT!!! Jesus Christ, Dorn! This is NOT First Contact! Take 54, action...''