Movie Caption Contest #182: Conference Calls

[Rat Boy]

You have to shoot, because it's time for another caption contest. Let's get cozy with...

There's a reason why he was due for retirement...

Kirk: Will you get out of here Valeris? We're waiting for the traitor to show up!

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Lwaxana's telepathic illusion worked perfectly.

Photoshop gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

TROI: I see you found the jet nozzle.

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Kirk shows off the latest in Starfleet sleepwear and we have standard TNG expository scene number 8. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a hand-job is done."

Picard: "I'd like to welcome you all the annual hand-job seminar."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Will, you've got to stop it with the three-bean salad. Our PADDs are blowing off the table.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: I've been informed that the crew unanimously approves of our current uniforms. I'll make sure that they are changed in time for the next movie.

Picard: We're going to meet a Romulan named Shinzon. He wants to begin peace negotiations. But i am suspicious.

Troi: Why?

Picard: Anyone named "Shinzon" would have too much anger at being named something that terrible to be interested in peace.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Announcer: The role of "James T. Kirk" is now being played by Diedrich Bader

PICARD: If a waiter doesn't show up in the next 5 minutes, we walk!

 

[Finn]

Chekov: These uniforms werent inwented in Russia
Sulu: They were
Chekov: No they werent. Everything but those were inwented in Russia.

Deleted scene from DS9

Lt. Hawk: (OS) Captain! We are getting a distress signal from the Defiant. They are under attack by the Breen. They got some kind of crazy weapons!

Riker: That's Sisko's ship.

Troi: And Worf too! We better hurry and help them.

Picard: No, not after that attitude from Sisko when we first took him to Deep Space Nine few years back. Set a course for Risa.

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Unlike Mr. Decker I remembered to wear a cup. See. No comical pecker protrusion?

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: And the best part of these new two-piece uniforms: no one can see when you have wood.
CHAPEL: Thank God. I have wood right now.
(everyone slowly steps away)

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Shatner: "Never in my entire life have I missed William Ware Theiss more than I do right now!"

Picard: "But if we're all in here, who's running the ship?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

They were all there, they were all in on the plan. All Scotty had to do was muster the courage to stab his captain in the back. And noone would be the wiser.

And then... Sulu would finally get to be the captain.

And he wouldn't have to wait five goddamned movies to do it.

Riker: "Look, I just don't see why we should even have Captain Picard Day anymore."

 

[Brikar99]

Riker: Soooooo... Orgy?

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: As you can see, this giant space cloud is heading toward Earth, destroying our most defenseless space stations along the way.

Sulu: We're going to do something about it?

Kirk: No, we're going to write the "Ripped From the Headlines" episode about it!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "As you all know, a destructive force of unbelievable power is en route to Andoria-"

Scotty: "BORING."

Kirk: "Ok, fine. Earth. It's heading towards Earth now. Are you happy?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: As we are the only ship in the quadrant...

SULU: Who's the idiot Admiral at Starfleet Operations who came up with that brilliant plan?

KIRK: ahem...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Unfortunately, we didn't get the rights to the Doctor Who theme so we won't be able to do the dance ... but it was awesome.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Stewart: "Thank god you're not directing this one, Jonathan. I don't see how a Star Trek movie can get any shittier than Insurrection."

 

[Bob Karo]

Stewart: "Thank god you're not directing this one, Jonathan. I don't see how a Star Trek movie can get any shittier than Insurrection."

Frakes: Just wait til this one's released....

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: So... where are the doughnuts?

Picard: Numbah One, we finally let you sit at the grown-up table for Thanksgiving and you do non-stop silent but deadlys. Back to the kiddie table with you!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "I had a burrito for lunch... a burrito capable of causing unimaginable gastrointestinal distress."

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: It feels as though we are truly sailing into the unknown.

Riker: Haven't you and Data both been to Romulus before?