Facts About Captain Robau

[6079SmithW]

Robau has only laughed at one movie, but we'll never, ever know what that one movie was.

Never.

It was Star Trek (2009). Robau is killed? Please.

 

[F. King Daniel]

It wasn't really an Adamantium bullet to the head that wiped Wolverine's memory, it was a good hard slap from Captain Robau.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Warehouse 13 is Captain Robau's bed trunk.

 

[Mach5]

Captain Robau is Batman.

 

[6079SmithW]

When Robau sets up his Nativity display for Christmas, he includes one extra figure that no one else does: Captain Robau brining Jesus the gift of badass.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Captain Robau shows up to gang fights without a gang.

And wins.

 

[barnaclelapse]

Captain Robau isn't touching you. He isn't touching you. He isn't touching you.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

You load 16 tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
But if Captain Robau calls you, you damn well better go
Even if you owe your soul to the company store.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Captain Robau took a few hundred nuclear submarines, dismantled them, and built the U.S.S. Kelvin.

 

[6079SmithW]

If you see Captain Robau at a star trek convention and want his autograph, be warned: Robau likes to sign his name in blood. In YOUR blood.

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

^But you are going to ask anyway...

 

[barnaclelapse]

Captain Robau is all right, he's all right, he's all right, yeah.

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

Robaus first words? "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts".

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Meh. His first words are too awesome for us to comprehend--but here is a probable estimation:

After his mother (the ultimate woman in beauty and femininity--whose womb took the supreme masculinity and awesomeness of his father...and amplified it beyond what we could imagine into The Robau) gave birth...The Robau stretched his arms upward unto the heavens, and spoke in a voice that thundered across the universe:

BEHOLD...I AM THE ROBAU!!! AND ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE ME!!!

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

^Ok, ok - you win. I know. Book of Robau, first page, genesis.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Captain Robau travelled back in time, took a microwave oven, and shouted in it so loud that it replicated a cheeseburger.

 

[Cyke101]

God makes birds drop dead out of the sky. Robau makes Seahawks drop dead out of the sky to feed to the Bears.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Captain Robau could defeat all of Ramona Flower's evil exes. Without ever meeting them

 

[Rush Limborg]

Captain Robau could defeat the Replicators of Stargate without a second thought--just by glaring at them. They'd all explode en masse.

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

Cylons are no matcg for him; plan o no plan.