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KIRK: Scotty, I don't think this is the right office. DR. BOB HARTLEY (OFF CAMERA): It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone... Uh, Carol, get these guys an appointment.
Kirk: "Bones, I'll have mine with pearl onions. I can't stand olives or lemon peel. They don't go well with these stale fruit cubes we're having for dinner."
KIRK: Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Spock and McCoy out of the sky? McCOY: I told you we shouldn't have given him that Batman series for Christmas.
Scotty: "'Get with the times, Scotty,' the captain says. 'Stop being such an old-fashioned chauvinist. There's nothing wrong with a woman working in the engine room!' So we transfer Lieutenant Martine down here and what does she do? She plugs in her hair dryer and blows every fuse in the main circuit board!"
McCoy: "These new Starfleet proficiency exams are murder!"
Mr. Atoz: "There you are, you scoundrel! Hitting me over the head when I wasn't looking and stealing my Atavachron, and you thought you'd get away with it?"