I can donate a complete set of the Rita Mae Brown "Mrs Murphy" books that are barely haunted at all.
Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
Captain Ice said:
Of course. I'll only charge half price, as a token of thanks for agreeing so readily to splitting the lottery winnings.
*Daniel thinks long and hard, but decides not to poison Captain Ice*
Later on, Daniel pops out and sees Captain Robau beam down, before being let into Crazy Cat Lady's place. Hmmm.
As well as the groceries, Daniel buys a handgun, just in case Misc Street's number one baseball fan (or is it chess in this timeline?) realizes what happened to his winning lottery ticket and causes trouble.
In his hospital bed, MLB is growing increasingly sicker and more despondent. This conversation takes place outside his room:
Doctor: I can't explain it. It's almost like he's lost the will to live. I don't know if there's anything we can do.
Nurse: Doctor, there is something...
Doctor: What is it, Nurse?
Nurse: Well, Doctor, he keeps mumbling a name over and over. It's like he's calling someone, but I don't know who it is.
Doctor: What name is it?
Nurse: That's the weirdest thing, Doctor...he keeps repeating "Miss Chicken". I've never heard of her. What could he be talking about?
(Inside MLB's sickened mind)
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door...
Doctor: I can't explain it. It's almost like he's lost the will to live. I don't know if there's anything we can do.
Nurse: Doctor, there is something...
Doctor: What is it, Nurse?
Nurse: Well, Doctor, he keeps mumbling a name over and over. It's like he's calling someone, but I don't know who it is.
Doctor: What name is it?
Nurse: That's the weirdest thing, Doctor...he keeps repeating "Miss Chicken". I've never heard of her. What could he be talking about?
(Inside MLB's sickened mind)
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door...
A little cat walks into the room and asks MLB "Wazzup?"
MLB smiles for the first time in a long time. His vital signs begin to improve.
*Picks up the pies and returns to the Deli*
Come one, come all and help us celebrate this festive occasion. The pie and beverages are complimentary today and all other food is half price.
Come one, come all and help us celebrate this festive occasion. The pie and beverages are complimentary today and all other food is half price.
I'll try some of that pie, thanks. I just hope the mincemeat isn't made out of mice.
But first I'll have another of those pastrami sandwiches, and a large Pepsi, please.
I'm a little worried. I keep seeing elves out of the corner of my eye.
But first I'll have another of those pastrami sandwiches, and a large Pepsi, please.
I'm a little worried. I keep seeing elves out of the corner of my eye.
I don't know why Miss Chicken seems to have developed some sort of healing powers.
One of the larger snowdrifts outside the pub begins to tremble, shifting unnaturally. In a flurry of snowflakes, Deranged Nasat emerges, blinking in the sunlight. He hasn't been seen for several days, and evidently this is why. That'll teach him to sleep out in the snow. Still, it was warm under there. With a comforting "bugrit", he heads inside to get a drink. What has he missed?
Jenee leaves the coffee shop early today - in Daniel's capable hands, and casually walks to the corner of Neutral Road and Central Avenue, takes a left and continues past Miscellaneous Street, past Lounge Circle and even further than QSF Parkway. She stops and looks back, then disappears into the mist ...
In the coffee shop, which seems so big and empty today, a solemn Daniel looks down at Soda.
"I think it's just you and me now, kiddo."
In the years that follow, the coffee shop is sold to an old Sweedish couple. Daniel spends the rest of his days wondering why Jenee left, and what became of his second child. He travels the world on MLB's lottery winnings and ends up living in a far off land. He dies a lonely old man.
Soda grows up without a mother, plagued by various abandonment and trust issues. Eventually he falls in love and marries a guy called Svenlime. They move into a nice house, adopt a little girl, and live happily ever after.
Oh.
In that case... erm... Daniel returns to the coffee shop after his incredibly perculiar psychic reading. With a slightly manic look in his eyes he tells Jenee, "I saw the future! I don't think that was an asprin she gave me!"
Whoopi Goldberg wanders in, looking almost as confused as Daniel. "Something has changed. This is not the way it's supposed to be!" she says, over and over.
Jenee returns to the apartment above the coffee shop to Daniel and Soda sprawled on the floor asleep in front of the tv. The DVD menu repeating the opening music and scene of Miracle on 34th Street. As she turns off the tv and gathers up Soda to put in his bed, she muses at the irony of Daniel being so much younger than she, yet he enjoys movies that are older than she.
Once Soda is in his pj's and snuggled up in bed, she lays on the floor next to Daniel and kisses him softly to wake him up ...
Once Soda is in his pj's and snuggled up in bed, she lays on the floor next to Daniel and kisses him softly to wake him up ...
MLB does not know either. But he is still very grateful. He has a new lease on life now.
MLB returns to his own apartment, having totally shocked the doctors and nurses at the hospital by the utter speed of his recovery. Several passersby notice that for the first time, he is smiling.
Once home, MLB begins work on the song he will use to serenade Hippy Lady, the great love of his life. Also he has made a custom cat-sized baseball cap to present as a gift to Miss Chicken, who *saved* his life.
I'll try some of that pie, thanks. I just hope the mincemeat isn't made out of mice.
But first I'll have another of those pastrami sandwiches, and a large Pepsi, please.
I'm a little worried. I keep seeing elves out of the corner of my eye.
One pastrami and a Pepsi coming up!
IIRC the mincemeat pies are made out of equal parts elf meat and venison.
I though Smiley ate the elves.
And talking of Smiley, now that I think of it I haven't seen him for a couple of days. It is hard to keep track of all my kitties.
And talking of Smiley, now that I think of it I haven't seen him for a couple of days. It is hard to keep track of all my kitties.
Uh oh. If the elves were eaten by Smiley and made into pies, that means I'm seeing the ghosts of elves. This is far worse than I thought.
Thish pashtrami ish delishous, though.
Thish pashtrami ish delishous, though.
Look, we're all sorry we burned them and threw them down a black hole, but it was quite, quite necessary. The trauma was just too extensive, and that's saying a lot given what we have to deal with around here.
Hippy Lady clears up after another visit from Miss Chicken. She'd never met a kitty like the extraordinary Miss Chicken before. Who knew that kitties could not just have healing powers but read tarot cards, knit balaclavas, and bake a mean fish pie? And not an opposable thumb to be found on any of those three legs. Remarkable.
The card reading had surprised Hippy Lady. She'd sort of noticed MLB before, but she had no idea he had, erm, hankerings (what an unusual word for a cat to use!) for her. Well, it was worth a try. Perhaps she should invite him over for some herbal tea and lentil nut loaf. Oh, and some of her homemade juniper berry cordial, provided the mushroom cloud had moved a safe distance from the distillery in one of her many garden sheds. Poor little Galaxy was out cold for two days again when he'd ventured too close to the shed while the mushroom cloud was forming. You'd think he'd know better after 3 times before. Oh, well.
The card reading had surprised Hippy Lady. She'd sort of noticed MLB before, but she had no idea he had, erm, hankerings (what an unusual word for a cat to use!) for her. Well, it was worth a try. Perhaps she should invite him over for some herbal tea and lentil nut loaf. Oh, and some of her homemade juniper berry cordial, provided the mushroom cloud had moved a safe distance from the distillery in one of her many garden sheds. Poor little Galaxy was out cold for two days again when he'd ventured too close to the shed while the mushroom cloud was forming. You'd think he'd know better after 3 times before. Oh, well.