Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
Soon a cheering crowd gatheres at the broken front window to witness the awesome sight.
A little while later, the police arrive and arrest both Daniel and Jenee. It seems that fornicating in plain view of the public isn't allowed.
How come the police will turn up when someone (or I should say sometwo) has a little bit of public hanky-panky but won't come around when there is murder?
As we only seem to have two cops, how do we know they didn't commit the murder?
Sat at the computer, Daniel watches a video of his and Jenee's latest escapade which is now doing the rounds on all the naughty websites. Damn phone cameras!
A voice in Daniel's head says that he and Jenee being internet porn stars is a bad thing. Shameful. Wrong. Then again... *nods appreciatively at video*
A voice in Daniel's head says that he and Jenee being internet porn stars is a bad thing. Shameful. Wrong. Then again... *nods appreciatively at video*
Don't go giving me ideas!
*Wandering off into a daydream, Daniel imagines opening a porn studio with the lottery winnings, and then he and Jenee auditioning the locals for parts*
Weird fluke.
Daniel and Jenee sign autographs for the window repair man, apparently a huge fan of their video. Daniel tries to think of what he'll say to Soda. Something along the lines of "Mommy and Daddy did something naughty, but it seemed fine at the time... don't ever go on JeneeLikesItRough.com... you'll understand when you're older..."
Officers Toody and Muldoon would never do such a thing.
While watching highlights of the Red Sox trashing the Yankees in the World Chess series, RJD glances out the front window of the bookstore and sees six ghostly elves floating down the street carrying the naked body of Whoopi Goldberg toward the woods.
This can't be good.
"Well, they were kind of mine when they were alive, but I was able to keep them frozen for most of the year. Since they were killed and made into mincemeat pie and eaten by Smiley they've become ghosts, so all bets are off. Now they seem to be carrying Whoopi up to the weird old temple ruins on the top of the hill. I better check my reference books."
"Be careful. Elves are dangerous enough when they're alive." 
^They're nothing compared to an angry Whoopi. Even dead they don't have a chance.....
Daniel looks over Jenee's shoulder
"Is that... Nurse Ayel sneaking up on Whoopie? I guess you didn't kill him after all. Look - he's carrying the bat you used to bash his brains in."
THWACK!
"Whoopie down!" yells Daniel, as the screen shows psychotic Ayel dragging the unconcious Ms. Goldberg away by the ankle, presumably to his shed.
"Is that... Nurse Ayel sneaking up on Whoopie? I guess you didn't kill him after all. Look - he's carrying the bat you used to bash his brains in."
THWACK!
"Whoopie down!" yells Daniel, as the screen shows psychotic Ayel dragging the unconcious Ms. Goldberg away by the ankle, presumably to his shed.
Suddenly, the half dozen spectral Elves swarm Nurse Ayel's ankles, biting him ferociously with their ectoplasmic fangs (which are a lot sharper than they sound). The psychotic killer runs for cover and the pint-sized ghosts resume carrying the unconscious Whoopi up the hill to the temple ruins.
If they manage to sacrifice her to their eldritch elvish gods, there's no telling what horrible forces will be unleashed upon Miscellaneous Street.
If they manage to sacrifice her to their eldritch elvish gods, there's no telling what horrible forces will be unleashed upon Miscellaneous Street.
If only I had a microraptor round about now....
MLB produces a bomb hidden inside a baseball.
Will this help? It's guaranteed to wipe out any elves within a ten-mile radius. Will not harm human life, or even Whoopi.
Will this help? It's guaranteed to wipe out any elves within a ten-mile radius. Will not harm human life, or even Whoopi.
Better make sure cats are safe too, lest you risk the wrath of Crazy Cat Lady.
Done. MLB is of course grateful to Miss Chicken for saving his life and thus would never endanger her or her friends.
The bomb whacks the nearest elf on the back of the head. Incensed at this outrage, the elves drop what they are doing - causing Whoopi to roll back down the hill and augur herself into a pile of snow. The confused elves gather around the 'baseball' and briefly jabber amongst themselves before the subsequent explosion reduces them to piles of slag. There are no other casualties or damage.