TOS Caption Contest #176: Par for the Course
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! THAT'S A win!!!!!!
Chapel: Now finish up your fake ice cream and we'll-
Kids: It's fake ice cream?!
Chapel: Well-
Kids: Hail Hail Fire and...
I can't conjure anything funnier!!!
Christopher: "She reminds me of my wife."
Kirk: "That's because she's your great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, you idiot! Now, stop thinking about doing the nasty in the pasty and concentrate on how we can get your ass out of here!"
Spock: "Even in the future iPads get shitty wi-fi."
Standing kid: "Uh, nurse, there's a pubic hair in my milkshake."
*Kid with plaid pants winks at him*
Spock: "Fascinating. It appears the 'gayDAR' is actually working and has--"
Chekoc: "Mizter Spock, have you seen Sulu?"
"Yes, Timmy, I'm sure I do have a ncie rack, but cleavage isn't allowed at the children's table..."
Christopher: "She reminds me of my wife."
Kirk: "That's because she's your great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, you idiot! Now, stop thinking about doing the nasty in the pasty and concentrate on how we can get your ass out of here!"
Grand-mother? That's an interesting time paradox...
-----------------------------------
Kirk: "See? A woman in command branch gold-slash-avocado-depending-on-the-lighting-or-position-in-production-schedule, so don't let any of my crazy ex-girlfriends tell you women can't be starship captains."
Christopher:"I once did a girl like her while in boot camp, only charged $30 for and hour."
Kirk: "I hear give her two drinks of Saurian Brandy and you're in like Flint"
Chekov: "Meester Spock! could you please gieve us some privacy!"
Spock: "Mr. Chekov; the Captains already been there?"
Chekov: "Shalava "
Chaple: "Now Class"
Christopher: You let women serve aboard?
Kirk: We learned our lessons about that from the Navy...
Christopher: You let women serve aboard?
Kirk: Yes, also the dishes and some light housework.
Kirk: That's nothing, watch his ... YEOMAN, I seem to have dropped my stylus on the deck there in front of you.
Christopher: "My God... "
Kirk: "What is it?"
Christopher: "Her clothing!!!"
Kirk: "What about it?"
Christopher: "I can see her knees!!! .
(Kirk nudges Christopher)
Yeoman: I'll get that for you Captain
Christopher: My god.
Kirk: She part Vulcan.
Christopher: And they all have ...
Kirk: Two.
.
Chapel: "And just why isn't Joey able to sit down? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Starnes!"
Captain Christopher: *gasp* "Baby got BACK."
Kirk: "Yes. Welcome to the 23rd Century."
Christopher: "She's hot."
James Kirk: "Where?"
Christopher: "Her." (pointing)
James Kirk: "Ummm Captain."
Christopher: "No?"
James Kirk: "I suppose."
Christopher: "What's her name."
James Kirk: "Henry."
Christopher: "Oh."
James Kirk: "Yeah."
Christopher: "You mean."
James Kirk: "Yes."
Christopher: "When did ...."
James Kirk: "Council passed a law."
Christopher: "Because ...'
James Kirk: "Of course."
Christopher: "Not that there anything wrong with that."
James Kirk: "No no no, nothing."
The two Captain's walk on in awkward silence.
CHRISTOPHER: That reminds me.
I need to tell my wife to get some new eggs.
SPOCK: Stupid ham radio.
CHEKOV: Did you say ham? YUM!
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