Movie Caption Contest #137: I'm With Stupid

[Rat Boy]

Transporter: do not engage, for it's time for another caption contest. First, let's get awkwardly close-up to...

First up, we have a double shot of engineering calamities from our winner...

Computer: Engineering to All Decks. Auxilliary Power Test in 3 minutes, unless Cleary breaks something else...aw &^$#!

Scotty: You're fired Cleary. You lasted about 2 weeks, that's good. But I'm gonna bring in some help from the bullpen.

Decker: Who do you have in mind Scotty?

Scotty: My Nephew, Peter. Good kid, he'll be ready in a few years and I know he'll make it through more than one mission.

For perhaps the biggest racial revelations since that one episode of Chappelle's Show, our dual winners are...

Geordi: Holy shit... you're WHITE?!??!?

Geordi: Holy shit...and I'm black?!!!

For still trying to get the hang of things, our winner is...

Geordi: "Commander, I estimate we'll clear the Briar Patch in 23 minutes"
Riker: "Geordi, you're looking at the laundry monitor"
Geordi: "Dammit"

And that goes the same for our Photoshop winner...

Geordi: "These eye implants work just fine, Captain. Why do you ask?"

Congrats, everybody. First up this week, we have McCoy giving it to Spock while probably waiting for the inevitable Photoshop. Second, Kirk gets upset that the blueprints he bought off the Internet apparently are inaccurate as hell. Finally, Data goes all Old Yeller on B4. Caption smartly:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Logic? This man's talking about logic! We're talking about American Idol!"

Spock: "They're inoperative below C Deck."

Kirk: "Does anything work around here?"

Spock: "We set up a Porta Pottie on the hangar deck, but there's a bit of a line."

B4: "What are you doing?"

Data: "I am attempting to make you less annoying."

*makes adjustment*

B4: "Meesa all better nows, bombad brother?"

Data: "Shit, I meant the other way!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Data (thinking): Show me up in public, will you brother? "Data, you're babbling" indeed. Well, my marker pen has a few things to say to you!

*starts scribbling rude words and doodles on B-4's face*

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Spock, where the hell are you? The Blu-Ray transfer's made this place so dark I wish we had a couple lens flares."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Get out there! It's not like they made you an Ass Rubbing Clone or slapped a pair of chaps on you!

SPOCK (muttering): The wig itches

SPOCK: I hope I'm not interrupting something.

DATA: Once I get this dummy in place I'm so outta here!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Okay Spock, 'fess up. Where d'you put my ass rubbing clone?"

Kirk: "Any other damage to report?"

Spock: "The no smoking sign has fallen down on the bridge."

Kirk: "Result! Have the yeoman bring my cuban cigars to the bridge."

B4: "I do not understand brother, what is twincest?"

Data: "Do not worry about it B4, I will cut you in for a percentage on the convention circuit afterwards. Just relax.."

 

[Candlelight]

Cheers for the win!

McCoy: "These public toilets are really disturbing!"
Spock: "Calm yourself Doctor, I am almost... *parp* finished"

Kirk: "'Oh admiral, you're another rank higher, here, let me pin another-' SPOCK! How long have you been standing there?"
Spock: "Lets just say I have enough to embarass the fuck out of you"

B4: "Is left earing gay? Or right ear?"
Data: "No idea. Hold still. Doing both anyway."

 

[scottydog]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy Wonder!

McCoy: Hurry up, Spock! I have to go, too!

Spock: Doctor, Vulcans only go every 7 years. Thanks to Poop Farr, I will be a while.

Lore: Hold on, I'm not done squeezing it.

Data: I knew I should never have installed the zit chip.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "A-hem, captain -- that's an I Voted pin..."

McCoy: "Damnit, you scared away my Ass-Rubbing Clone!"

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Bones: Spock, what the hell are you doing just sitting there when half the galaxy is in rebellion, Vulcan's been captured by the Romulans and the Klingons are massing a fight?!

Spock: I am... relieving myself, Doctor. I am sitting in the Man's Bathroom on the La-Z-Boy Toilet.

Noticing the way the captain and Saavik were looking at each other and how they were fastening their uniforms, Spock wisely decided that queries would be pointless.

"If I only had a clone... Oh wait.... I have two... I can fake my own death!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

A win I'm more than happy to split. Thanks again, Rat Boy, and special thanks to BriGuy for the set-up.

McCoy: We're talking about universal armageddon.
Spock: I was not aware, doctor, that taking your seat constituted "universal armageddon." Really, you must govern your hyperbole, it will be your undo--
McCoy: You green-blood sonuva--

Spock: We are inoperative below C deck.
Kirk: This is no time to talk about your limp dick, Spock.

Picard (off-camara): Please show us on the automaton where Mr. LaForge touched your screens.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay a visit to Rand."

Spock: "I had her transferred to headquarters, Admiral."

Kirk: "I let you have my ship for a few lousy years and you screw the whole place up!"

 

[Maurice]

Picard (off-camara): Please show us on the automaton where Mr. LaForge touched your screens.

Private joke!

BONES: That's not the "head", Spock!
SPOCK: It is now.

KIRK: Turboshaft eight?
SPOCK: Still back that way...numbnuts.

DATA: I told you once, B4.
B4: Before what?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "While I can cite no logical reason for it, I must confess that I share your curiosity concerning the contents of Lieutenant Saavik's underwear drawer. Very well, gentlemen, I will participate in this 'panty raid' of yours."

Kirk: "I left twenty dollars on your dresser. Speak of this to no one."

Data: "Oh, Christ, I left a hickey! How the hell am I going to explain this!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

dup

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: I told you once, B4.
B4: Before what?

DATA: And out goes the humor chip.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Private joke!

 

[Aragorn]

From left to right: DeForest Kelley (Claude Raines), Leonard Nimoy (Sylar) and William Shatner (Peter Petrelli) on the set of Heroes: The Next Generation, lamenting the firing of James Doohan (Matt Parkman) and George Takei (Hiro Nakamura).

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the Win!

McCoy: Are you by any chance in favor of these experiments?

Spock: They're testing Domestic vs. Imported beers, I don't think it's that controversial.

Spock: They're inoperative below C deck.

Kirk: What is working around here?

Spock: Not much Admiral, we have restored the Blue Ray player, but the big screen is still down.

Kirk: That's it?!

Spock: Best we could do until tech support starts at 8am!

Data: Just a minor adjustment here and I'll be able to get Satellite Radio.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Why do we store spare engine parts here?

SPOCK: They're inoperative below C deck.

KIRK: So the chances of a "Kirk-Saavik" sex tape getting out?

SPOCK: Zero.