In truth, it was Robau who defeated Megastreisand.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau likes Aragorn's new avatar.
Robau is descended from Jack Bauer. This has nothing to do with the name or the awesomeness; it's just that most people in the 23rd century are descended from Jack Bauer.
Most people in the 24th century are descended from Richard Robau.
Yeah, even Worf and Data.
Most people in the 24th century are descended from Richard Robau.
Yeah, even Worf and Data.
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Captain Robau picks YOUR nose.
Robau once rode The Great Space Coaster and impressed Gary Gnu so much he HAD to show it on his newscast!
It is said that the galaxy was genetically seeded by the Preservers, which is why the Humanoid body type dominates. In actuality, there was just a Preserver, one guy. Just Robau. And he didn't even do it on purpose. He just had the Kelvin stop off at all the beaches in the primordial galaxy, put out the beach chair, cracked open a beer, took in the view. And any man's thoughts eventually turn to masturbation. He'd leave his gift in that world's oceans.
Ocean after ocean.
So you wonder why so many of the galaxy's aliens are just humanoids with weird noses/foreheads/ears?
That's the Robau genome at work.
Ocean after ocean.
So you wonder why so many of the galaxy's aliens are just humanoids with weird noses/foreheads/ears?
That's the Robau genome at work.
Robau is one of us, then, despite his godlike awesomeness.
More like, we are Robau...but yes, more or less correct. He's quite human...just no human before or since has had such high levels of kickassery packed into one being.
Human scientists have tried to duplicate it, and it usually has resulted in a mess, the worst of which being the Eugenics Wars.
Robau is unique.
Robau is...Robau.
Look up "Badass" in the dictionary, the first definition will be one talking about the captain of the Kelvin.
Human scientists have tried to duplicate it, and it usually has resulted in a mess, the worst of which being the Eugenics Wars.
Robau is unique.
Robau is...Robau.
Look up "Badass" in the dictionary, the first definition will be one talking about the captain of the Kelvin.
The reason the J'naii are androgynous is because once upon a time Robau visited them. The women said, "Damn! I want to have your babies!" The men said, "Damn! I want to have your babies!" That really messed things up for the J'naii to they opted to resolve it the only way they could.
No, actually anyone who insults Robau like that picks their own nose..off the floor. Along with their asses, which Robau has kicked..
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a story from Robau's childhood. He once swallowed a live turtle, when he crapped it out, it was 6 feet tall and knew karate.
When Robau goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Robaued.
"Robau" is Romulan for "We're f***ed!".
Withers
Captain
Robau, Robau,
Six foot eight
Weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware
Opponents beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Let me lay it on the line
He had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles
So divine
In a ship made of neutronium
He patrolled the land
With the Federation ring
And his perfect hands
Here comes Rob-
In control
Women dug his snuff
And his gallant stroll
Ate opponents' brains
And invented cocaine
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Robau, Robau,
Six foot twenty
Fucking killing for fun
Spread, spread
Delphic Expanse
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Sue me if I go too fast
But the sons of his opponents
Wished that he was their dad
Got War Nog for Blood
Got a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart
Ooh!
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
(drum sounds)
He had a pocket full of phasers
Fucked the shit out of Gorns
Threw a knife into heaven
And could kill with his scorn
He made love like an eagle
Falling out of the sky
Killed his sensei in a duel
And he never said why
Robau, Robau
Twelve stories high
Made of radiation
The present beware,
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
He once held an opponent's wife's hand...In a jar of acid at a party.
(I just adapted it this and thought it was funny.)
-Withers-
Six foot eight
Weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware
Opponents beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Let me lay it on the line
He had two on the vine
I mean two sets of testicles
So divine
In a ship made of neutronium
He patrolled the land
With the Federation ring
And his perfect hands
Here comes Rob-
In control
Women dug his snuff
And his gallant stroll
Ate opponents' brains
And invented cocaine
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Robau, Robau,
Six foot twenty
Fucking killing for fun
Spread, spread
Delphic Expanse
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
Sue me if I go too fast
But the sons of his opponents
Wished that he was their dad
Got War Nog for Blood
Got a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart
Ooh!
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
He'll save children
But not the Klingon children
(drum sounds)
He had a pocket full of phasers
Fucked the shit out of Gorns
Threw a knife into heaven
And could kill with his scorn
He made love like an eagle
Falling out of the sky
Killed his sensei in a duel
And he never said why
Robau, Robau
Twelve stories high
Made of radiation
The present beware,
The future beware
He's coming
He's coming
He's coming
He once held an opponent's wife's hand...In a jar of acid at a party.
(I just adapted it this and thought it was funny.
)-Withers-
A new hymn! Go you!
Captain of the Kelvin...a friend to you and me...
Killed his first enemy...when he was only three!
RI-CHARD...RI-CHARD ROBAU!!
KING OF THE FINAL FRON-TIER!!
Killed his first enemy...when he was only three!
RI-CHARD...RI-CHARD ROBAU!!
KING OF THE FINAL FRON-TIER!!
Of course he had his trusty crew. Chalk up another invention to Captain Robau, time travel paradoxes. Like The Terminator, just more badass.
COMRADES!!!
Captain Robau demands that we all defend our cause!
For see, a poll has opened up in the "General" Forum.
Observe--and VOTE!
http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=115031
Captain Robau demands that we all defend our cause!
For see, a poll has opened up in the "General" Forum.
Observe--and VOTE!
http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=115031
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