Facts About Captain Robau

[cooleddie74]

*looks at avatar* I know *sigh*. Even my darling psycho Dukat looks like a wuss when he stands near the Robau.

I know. Those of us who drink at the fount of badass wisdom of Robau, of which Dukat is an accolyte, can only hope to be a distant shadow of his awesomeness.

But we strive every day.

Amen brother. At least we know that only a distant shadow can be achieved. But even that is worth it! Hail the Robau!

Even the Pah Wraiths in the Fire Caves won't even TRY to attack or absorb Robau. They know they're up against an impossible task. The Kosst Amojjan has no defense against Robau.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau's breath after eating a plate full of nachos could kill the Kosst Freaking Amojan if he wanted.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau can watch a whole episode of Jerry Springer without flinching.

The only reason women get naked on Jerry Springer is to appease The Robau.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau blinks and the whale women that get naked instantly turn sexy

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau was once a guest on Springer's show. He didn't say anything, the whole program was just the crowd chanting "Robau! Robau! Robau!" for an hour.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Captain Robau once went on Comedy Central for a day. It was the first time in that network's history that John Stewart and Stephen Colbert were struck speechless with no pithy comebacks.

 

[stonester1]

Robau was once a guest on Springer's show. He didn't say anything, the whole program was just the crowd chanting "Robau! Robau! Robau!" for an hour.

Normally, Jerry would have cut to commercial at some point...but he was shouting, too. As was everyone else. There were no commercials.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau doesn't need a Bajoran orb or a temporal pod to time travel. He simply closes his eyes and says: "Take me back to such-and-such a place and year. Now. Or I'll kick your ASS, space-time continuum!!"

 

[Aragorn]

Robau doesn't post on TrekBBS because there's too many people here he'd want to reach through the monitor and strangle. And that's something he can actually do.

 

[Skellington]

Robau doesn't post on TrekBBS because there's too many people here he'd want to reach through the monitor and strangle. And that's something he can actually do.

This is why we use pseudonyms.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau was once asked to be a Mod on the Trek BBS. But even our level of Epic Fail and stupidity is too much for Robau to handle and correct.

 

[Skellington]

Robau was once asked to be a Mod on the Trek BBS. But even our level of Epic Fail and stupidity is too much for Robau to handle and correct.

Robau might handle and correct YOU for that.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Robau was once asked to be a Mod on the Trek BBS. But even our level of Epic Fail and stupidity is too much for Robau to handle and correct.

BLASPHEMER!!!



SAY TEN "HAIL ROBAU"S NOW, INFIDEL!!!

In the original Latin, too:

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!

 

[Ihlecreations]

Robau is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Robau is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Good one!!!!!

 

[CommanderRaytas]

The real question here is: Can Robau kill Kenny?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Of course, and in that case, Kenny's the bastard.

AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!

 

[CommanderRaytas]

But I bet he's no match for Cartman.

I know it's heresy. I'll just take the risk.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau started the EIB network...but back then, it stood for "Excellence in Buttkicking."

 

[Aragorn]

Breath mints actually make Robau's breath less fresh because they're incapable of making it more fresh.