TOS Caption Contest #157: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye ...

Kirk: "You'll tell me what I want to know, or you'll watch the Voyager marathon again."
Khan: "I am a war criminal, and ..."

 

Might as well lock the thread. Crow's work is the undisputed winner!

BTW, Shat, thanks for the win a few weeks back! Never expected my Godzilla "insertion" to be a contender.

Sincerely,

Bill

 

Kirk: "And this is Ceti Alpha V, you're new home. Quaint, huh?"

Khan: "I don't know ... those geological readings of Ceti Alpha VI look unstable."

Kirk: "OH, well, there's a slight chance it might ... explode."

Khan: "Explode?"

Kirk: "Yes, but a very samll chance. Like 8%."

Khan: "You sure?"

Kirk: "OH yeah, almost positive."

Khan: "'cause if it does, I'll have to steal a Federation starship, hunt you down, put worms in the ears of your crew, and then try to kill you."

Kirk: "You know, this was really all Chekov's idea. Here's his picture..."

 

Kirk: "Maybe your mind would be eased by this breast-reduction surgery info tape?"





Sulu: "Your high score is in no danger, Pavel."
Kirk: "FUCK YOU!" <throws controller, hits Sulu in back of head>





Sulu: "Of course they were fucking."






Kirk: "Seriously, when do they put Manning back in? After the fumble for a score, right?"






Kirk: "Magnify."




Kirk, squinting: "Who put their username in as FUKSTKS?"
Sulu and Chekov, together: "Spock."

 

CHEKOV: I've got a bad feeling about this.

 

Kirk: "DIE, YOU FUCKIN' GORN ASSHOLES! PEEYOW! <twists torso> PEEYOW-PEEYOW-PEEYOW!"

 

Sulu: "Raaawwarrannnnn!"

 

Kirk: "Never judge a book by its cover...This door is better than my last girlfriend."

 

Kirk: "Keep your heads down. I'm trying to watch the movie."

 

Kirk: "This is a Kindle."
Khan: "Yes. . ."

 

Khan: "And afterward, I require a sponge bath."

Kirk: "I'll see what I can do."





Chekov: "You vant me to vat?"

Sulu: "Hey, I'll volunteer."

Kirk: "Just pilot the ship horndog. Chekov, you have your orders."

 

Kirk: "Missed it.....by that much."

 

Kirk: "This reminds me of my last Yeoman."




Khan: "We had Skinimax in my day, too, Captain."

 

Kirk: "Well your strength and intelect may be superior, but your hair style makes you look like a girl."

Khan: "One day Kirk, one day."

 

SPOCK: "She wouldn't let you come inside either?"

 

Just when you thought it was safe to fornicate with the turbo lift doors...

 

Kirk: "Spock, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!"

 

Dont Cheat Spock!



Klink!! its Shultz here.



Going to the Holloween Party?



You were President 250 years ago.When in the hell youre doing on my ship?



Gentlemen please,,No Bloodshed here

 

Kirk: "Flat and red."