Star Trek XI Caption Contest #6: All Over But The Shouting

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Like Tiger Woods to a horse-faced, emotionally-hollow white woman, it may take me a while, but I'll always be back for another romp.

The bestest of the best from last round were ...

Scotty: "Space may be disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence, but I sure could go for some bacon and tomato wrapped in lettuce and sourdough."

One of E.Harmonys lesser known success stories.

In between takes:
Pegg: It's a big laugh line, Roy. I wanna get it right when we film the scene. Let me run a few more by you. How about, I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting.
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's bleeding exciting!
Deep Roy: Don't improvise.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: No.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Did it.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Worst yet.
Pegg: I like this ship! It's exciting!
Deep Roy: Got it.
Pegg: Thanks.

Scotty: "Hang on; he always needs me to hold his hand when I take him to the bathroom for tinkies."

SCOTTY:Don't tell anyone back at Starfleet Command...

but Admiral Archer's beagle?

Keenser here ATE his wee arse when we ran out of meat-flavored protein nibs.

Running Spock: "Bitch is stealing my gig!"

Average Trek BBS poster's first take on this picture: She looks photo-shopped.

Scotty: "His people's butts are on their faces. Don't be an ass-ist."

Scotty: "Acch, stop your whinin'. You luke good here. I didna think you'd mind me postin' your nudie photos online."

Scotty: "Are ye daft? It's not soccer, it's football."

UHURA: Where'd those two idiots come from?

Nicely done, all of you.

This week's bits are:

Have at it.

Joe, later than never

 

[Shatmandu]

S'Notnose: "Too bad your father wasn't Ambassador to Orion ..."

Kirk: "THEY'RE GOING TO PHOTOSHOP MEEEEEEEEE!"

 

[Captain Crow]

[zipper sound]

Spock: It is highly illogical for something that small to able to get caught like that.

 

[Shatmandu]

Pine: "They love me, right? They wouldn't mess with me."

Pine: "Ow."
Quinto: "You may have overestimated your popularity."

 

[Franklin]

It was rumored by some that parts of the next Star Trek movie were filmed in secret during the shooting of ST09. This leaked snippet of film seems to confirm that rumor:

Kirk: Khaaaaaaaaannn!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

S'Notnose: "Your mother was great in Heathers."

 

[Isis]

S'Imoncowell: "Dreadful, you're not going to Hollywood."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:Since Doctor McCoy is not here at the moment...

Please turn.

And COUGH.

 

[cooleddie74]

S'notnose: SPOCK!

Give us your holographic lunch credits...NOW.

 

[Franklin]

Kogan [distracted and wandring out of the shot]: I'm sorry, Mr. Abrams. But I'm just not able to concentrate right now.
Abrams: What's wrong, Jacob? Did Jimmy Bennett steal your bike again?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I thought that was applied to the neck!!!!!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

HEY JOE,

Wow! thanks for the win!!! You've made my day!

Just wanna thank you and everyone else who submits captions to your contests a big thank you for all the laughs you have given me over the last few months. I think you are all such wonderfully talented people....anyone who can make another person laugh they way you all do for me deserve a great big hug! Have a happy and safe new years all!

The Yeoman~

Pine: Olivia was seen buying condoms?????? WITHOUT ME????????

 

[Jonas Grumby]

First Vulcan in Background: "He's using the Brainwave Scanner to create a holographic image of a young, human, Nubian female. But he's imaging her naked! Should we do something?
Second Vulcan: "I don't know. I mean, he is half-human himself. Maybe this is just some harmless and innocent manifestation of his human side."
Third Vulcan: "Oh, for crying out loud, he's got her kissing her own ass!"

Spock: "Contrary to rumor, there is no such thing as the 'Vulcan Death Grip." This, however, is the Vulcan 'Have I got your attention now?' Grip."

 

[Alrik]

Lil Spock: "Again? You guys are real deuchebags, you know that?"

Spock: "With just a little more preasure, I believe I can make you a soprano."

 

[Shatmandu]

Yeoman Randi,

You're very welcome. This is a great place to play, and you and everyone else here make it better!

Skirk, the worst Vulcan ever: "EAT SHIT, YOU DIRTY COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE HUMAN!!"

 

[Alrik]

S'Notnose: "Your dad is a traitor and your mom shoplifts from Saks."

Spock: "Alright, that does it."

 

[Rat Boy]

Bully: "There's no Santa Claus."

*Spock screams, tackles and starts to beat the shit out of him*

Spock: "Fascinating. I believe you have correctly emulated Lieutenant Uhura's 'Oh Face.'"

 

[Nerys Myk]

S'NOTNOSE: Your haircut is silly and your mother dresses you funny!

SPOCK: We all look the same, dumbass!

 

[KittyDuran]

[zipper sound]

Spock: It is highly illogical for something that small to able to get caught like that.

[Oops, sorry Chris... he said in a linked interview in the Chris Pine appreciation thread that he wants women to tell him it's "huge" even if they have to lie.]

 

[Sector 7]

Lil Spock: I'll show you. One day I'll have a hot black Earth chick... and... and a cool spaceship... and... and people will call me MISTER Spock! You'll see....

S'Notnose: Lil Spock is always playing Mortal Kombat. Let's kick his butt!

S'Poiledbrat: I dunno... he just beat your high score...