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Star Trek XI Caption Contest #5: Coinkidinks

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UHURA: Where'd those two idiots come from?
 
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Scotty: "Glad you're here: this wee chap told me he was a lass for the first three months."
Kirk: "Jeez."
Scotty: "I plowed his field thrice nightly until I felt around down there and grabbed his pigs and whistle."


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Kirk: "Working on important Starfleet business down here?"
Scotty: "Aye."
Keenser: "Mostly fixing Coke machines."
Scotty: "Shut Up!"
 
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(I think the commercials are unfunny, but doesn't that look like the Geico googley-eyed dollar bill stack on Keenser's shoulder?"


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Kirk: "What's that on your apron?"
Keenser: "Been butchering this morning's visitors. Seven time-traveling asswipes from a ship called Voyager. Said they were here to repair the timeline, but he was hungry."
Scotty: "The one what looked like a orange gopher tasted like chicken."
 
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Scotty to Kirk and Spock Prime: "I hope you brought some decent food. I've been eatin' Starfleet protien nibs for six months. I'm bleedin' sick of them. Not a square sausage or a tattie in sight. I'm so starved I'm considerin' eatin' me wee oyster-faced mate here."

Keesner: "I hope I give you the shits".
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1. Uhura: "Dammit! Who used wax on these corridors?"

2. Uhura: "Oh Shit! Now I have a wedgie. I shouldn't have worn a thong today!"
 
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Reaction to James Cameron's Avatar was not as positive as expected.


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JJ Abrams: No one will notice that we photoshopped Zoe into this scene!
 
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Scotty: "Space may be disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence, but I sure could go for some bacon and tomato wrapped in lettuce and sourdough."

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Scotty: "Huh. This "Two Girls, One Cup" video ain't nearly as bad as everyone keeps tellng me it is."
 
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Spock (os): "Your partner Keenser there is a female. All of that species are."
Scotty, aghast, turning: "And ye've been watching me shite in the bog all this time?"
 
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Keenser: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
Scotty: No.
Keenser: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
Scotty: No.
Keenser: Ever been in a high-speed pursuit?
Scotty: Yes, I have.
Keenser: Have you ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed pursuit?
Scotty: No!


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Crewman Malakai was about to discover the meaning of the T-shirt that read: "Real Starfleet officers go commando."
 
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Scotty: "*burp* Ah'll tell ya wun th-th-thing *urp* she's u-uh-uuuuugly BELCH sumth'n fier*urp*ce....bu-uuuuhhh *BURP* is a helluva cook."
 
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SCOTTY: Ye'd never BELIEVE how difficult it is to get a license and papers for this thing!!

And the DROPPINGS?!

Acccch!!




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Uhura could never resist a good Monique concert when it was broadcast over subspace.
 
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It's me runnin' theory that THIS wee bloke is really Admiral Archer's beagle.

The way he poops and sheds? Seems to make bloody sense to ME.
 
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Kirk: "They sent you here over Admiral Archer's dog?"
Scotty: "YES! Well, that and the several hundred upskirt photos I took of the his Vulcan lady friend."
 
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