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Facts About Captain Robau

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If Robau himself were to reveal every single reason why he is so glorious this thread would suddenly shoot to several billion pages, causing a collapse of the internet itself.
 
Robau was Jesus's real father. How else do you think Jesus was able to perform all those miracles? It was due to the awesomeness of his Robau genes.
 
Captain Robau's penis is grand and large enough to serve as the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
 
During Christmas, Robau does not have one Christmas tree. An entire national park is set aside for him and he gets presents beneath every single tree in the park.
 
Robau sends Christmas presents to Romulan officers every year. The presents are rigged to explode upon opening, but the Romulans don't realize this until it is too late.
 
Christmas doesn't celebrate the birth of Jesus, it celebrates Robau's victory over the Kobayashi Maru scenario. :P
 
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