TOS Caption Contest #148: Costume Party!

[Rat Boy]

SPOCK: Sit down Sulu, I think someone else might want to give the residents a sponge bath for a change.

Uhura: "Nah, I'm good."

Blonde on left: "Me too."

Blonde on right: "Ditto."

 

[galleywest]

Every great once in a while I feel I can contribute to all the pictures. This is one of those times.

Uhura: I don't get it--are you Mike Myers as a Vulcan?

Kirk: No, just a Vulcan.

Sulu: You look like Mike Myers as a Vulcan.

Kirk: I'm not Mike Myers as a Vulcan! I'm just a Vulcan!

Bones (thinking): This chiropractic thing is such a crock.

Kirk: Dixon who?

In space, no one can hear your staff meetings.

 

[Rat Boy]

Upon seeing Shatner's impersonation of an Asian man, the rift between him and Takei formed.

Mirror Spock: "Fascinating. Everyone in your universe hated the Dallas Cowboys."

Kid: "Next time if you want to scare someone, you should probably take the safety off."

Kirk: "Crap."

Geriatric Kirk: "Will you please pipe down, Chekov? I'm in the middle of a speech here."

Senile Spock: "Eyesight failing you, Captain?"

Geriatric Kirk: "You stay out of this, McCoy!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spirk: "Is it too soon to start harping on about bags of cats on heads, sewage meetings and kids in restaurants?"
Sulu: "Grignak hasn't even made his cameo yet!"

Spock: "We will have the truth of the matter, Doctor. My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts..."
McCoy: "My knee to your nuts, asshole!"

Koik: "You see that Oxmyx, you tell him I'm gonna bitchslap him into next week, then I'm agonna bust a cap in his ass."
Kid: "Huh?"
Spock: "Wrong slang era, idiot!"

Spock: "That concludes my recitation of the first 2 million prime numbers, in hexadecimal. I shall now recite pi in its entirety."
Scott: "Next time, I'll organise the entertainment for the Captain's birthday."
McCoy: "Whut?"

 

[Isis]

AltSpock: "Hey, that screwdriver I lost last week is in here!"

 

[Isis]

Spock (to himself): "For the most part, I don't mind that the other ship left a book about 1920s gangsters, but I wish it would have had at least one mention of a bathroom."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kid: "and then a few years later another ship came and visited the next continent over, and left this book called the Kama Sutra..."

Koik: "Stupid, stupid, fucking transporter coordinates."
Spocko: "Indeed!"

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "First socks... then shoes."

Spock: "Next time.... do not... use... your teeth."

Spock: "Your bank account... to my bank account...."

Spock: "You will stop.... rotating your bottom... when sharpening pencils...."

Spock: "Stop using your butt plugs.... as wine corks..."

Spock: "You will give me... all the Reeses peanut butter cups you got... while trick-or-treating."

 

[Rat Boy]

No one had the heart to tell Timmy that he was actually talking to wax figures of Shatner and Nimoy.

 

[Triskelion]

Hey...there's someone else already in here.
Katra you name, price I name, otherwise mindmeld no.

Kid, did you see any hot social workers coming through here?
No, how about a syphilitic tramp?

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Mr Sulu, did you knowingly order that big box o' porn and subsequently leave it outside the bridge turbolift just prior to our five year mission?
Sulu: Dude - that was three days ago.
Spock: Scotty! Stop wrenching. I told you, this meeting is only for five minutes.
Scotty: I cannae break the laws of physics, Spock!

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "The Captain and Mr. Scott are faking old age. It's all make-up."

Spock: "What proof do you have, Mr. Sulu?"

Sulu: "They're their normal weight. When they're old they'll weigh 300 lbs each."

Uhura: "I'm glad I won't have that problem."

< everyone snickers >

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Two guys, one runt."

Kid: "Two guns, one kid."

Spock: "Two dicks, no female to put them in for another 4.75 years."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu had enough of Spock's cover of Lady GaGa's "Poker Face."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "I have been and always shall be... incontinent."

 

[Tribble]

Kirk: I'm not spending any more time in this damn caption contest. Look at us! We have become all old and grey waiting for Shatmandu, the Gorn has long died, and Godot hasn't appeared either. Plus, I've run out of blue pills.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Halloween is over, kid. I ain't got any more candy.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kid to Spock: "Why is he sitting on your hand?"

Spock: "It's his way."

 

[johcomp]

Kid: So which one of you guys has the biggest gun?!

Koik: Me!!!

Spocko: But young man...... I have two! <mimes shooting with his fingers, and winks>

Kid: Why you guys sitting here like that?

Koik: Well kid, the book didn't mention any toilet fascilities, so hey... we're improvising! Right?

Spock: <grunts> Check!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KID: So what are you gonna do with Mr Shatmandu when you find him?


Koik pats machine gun.