Movie Caption Contest #109: Face-Off

[Triskelion]

Kanye: I'mma let you finish--but -
Khan: This is awkward. I'm not the captain of this vessel. I have hijacked it you see.
Kanye: But it's on my planner, right here. This is stardate 8130.3, right? USS Reliant?
Khan: Yes it is, but -
Kanye: Look I've got five other ships in this sector to do before Thursday, you mind if I go ahead and play through?
Khan: <leans back in exasperation, presents palm>
Kirk:<muttering> Five other ships...whu?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: OHHH, MYYY! Look who just showed up to the party in my pants.

 

[Hneftafl]

"Pardon me...would you have any Grey Poupon?"

"Captain! You gonna let him talk about yo' momma like dat?"

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Khan, if it's me you want, I'll have myself beamed aboard. Spare my crew!
Khan: I make you a counter proposal, I'll agree to your terms, if... if... in addition to yourself, you hand over to me all the hair dye you've got. I need it for... scientific purposes.

 

[cooleddie74]

KHAN:"Did I come at a bad time, Kirk?

I saw the red lighting...I assumed you were seducing your fellow crewmates."

DOUGHERTY:"Your android tried to grope my ass and give Ru'afo here a reacharound, Jean-Luc.

Something HAS to be done before he remembers how to use his penis."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kanye: "For the last time, I'm not a gay fish!"

Kirk: "Then why do you put fishdicks in your mouth?"

Sulu: *snicker*

 

[cooleddie74]

KANYE:"Wait!! WAIT!! Hold a second, yo!!

I just wanted to say real quick...we ALL know Captain Nero had the best reason for vengeance of ALL the villains James Kirk has encountered!!"

 

[LeadHead]

Khan: As you can see Admiral, I do not need the Genesis Device anymore. I have a much more annoying weapon at my disposal.

 

[cooleddie74]

KANYE:"Now I ain't sayin' Kirk's no dilithium-digger..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Khan: "... if, in addition to yourself, you hand over to me all information ... Wait ... Waaaaait ... How did your hairline get lower over the last fifteen years?"

 

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"Permission to look away from the Son'a commander, sir...and toss my cookies?"

 

[Bones2]

KANYE:"Wait!! WAIT!! Hold a second, yo!!

I just wanted to say real quick...we ALL know Captain Nero had the best reason for vengeance of ALL the villains James Kirk has encountered!!"

And was altogether more successful.

 

[Shatmandu]

Admiral Badvillain: "No, I wasn't in Hardcastle and McCormick. Now, as I was saying, ..."

 

[Candlelight]

Khan: "I have deprived your ship of power, and when I swing around, I mean to deprive you of your life. But I wanted you to know who it was who had--"
Kanye West: "Yo, Khan, I'm really happy for you--I'mma let you finish--but Gul Dukat was the greatest Trek villain of all time. Of all time!"

Kirk: "My my, hasn't Tattoo changed somewhat over the years"

Saavik: "Admiral, we-"
Kanye: "Yo Vulcan, I'm really happy for ya - and imma let yo finish - but it's gotta be said dog; Chekov is da bomb when it comes to navigation"

Kanye: "Kirk, I'm really happy for yo-"
Kirk: "Don't you go pullin' that 'Picard is better' bullshit on my ship, Kanye"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kanye: "Chekov isn't here no more because James T. Kirk hates Russian people!"

Kirk: "Toss him out an airlock, please."

 

[T'Girl]

Khan: "Kirk, my old friend."

Kirk: "Khan, I must say, with the long platnum blonde hair, you're looking pretty good."

Khan: "What ?"

Kirk: "And all that cleavage mmmmmmmmmm."

Khan: "Now just a minute Kirk."

Kirk: "Sulu, set illumination to 'suduction' ."

Sulu: "Yes captain."

Kirk: "Uhura, tactical audio program 'Kirk one'."

Uhura: "On speakers."

Music: "Bomb chicky waa waa .."

Kirk: "Spock, I'm about to have sex, inform the crew."

Spock: " **sigh** "

.

 

[CTM]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: That man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.
Kirk: I'm feeling the "Captain's Itch"
Sulu: I'll get the powder, sir.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: The court will now hear some very sensual testimony from this court's ex-lover, Saavik.
Saavik: Go...
[beep]
Saavik: ...yourself.

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "...and then I got the job on Alpha-Beta... boy, we sure had some fun times"
Sulu: "You didn't last too long there though, did you sir?"
Kirk: "No... fucking Striker"

Kirk: "My god... we have to save this man! Why won't anyone believe him?!? Why, we should even check our own ship!! Those little bastards could be crawling all over us right now!!!!!"
Saavik: "Sir, I think-"
Kirk: "DAMMIT LARD-ASS, GET OUT THERE AND CHECK THAT NACELLE!"

 

[Skywalker]

Picard (off-screen): "What? Can't a man dance the mambo in his own goddamn quarters?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "What better way to honor our fallen friend on her birthday, than to watch her hump a toaster in slow-motion, over and over?"