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Facts About Captain Robau

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Robau wanted deleted scenes in TREK because overexposure to his own antics could prove fatal to mankind's limited nervous system.
 
Robau will personally kick the ass of anybody who tries to pirate the DVD release of Star Trek. You will buy it, bitches!
 
And if you burn unauthorized copies? Robau will burn an unauthorized copy of YOU.

With fire.
 
Robau's 72 virgins weren't enough to sate his appetite, so he took everyone else's as well. Now everyone else is gay in heaven.
 
Robau put out a select line of special Scalp Wax for a while. But people kept dying after exposure to its badass ingredients so it was pulled from the market.
 
Robau wrote THE CHRISTMAS SONG, but let Mel Torme take credit in return for letting Robau be called "The Bald Fog."
 
Sylvester Stallone was originally making a movie called "The Expendable," starring Captain Robau. But when Robau dropped out, the title was changed to "The Expendables" because they had to hire Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis just to fill the void of badassery that Robau left behind.
 
Sylvester Stallone was originally making a movie called "The Expendable," starring Captain Robau. But when Robau dropped out, the title was changed to "The Expendables" because they had to hire Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis just to fill the void of badassery that Robau left behind.
Still, it was then a miserable flop.
 
Robau was asked to play Darth Vader in a Star Wars remake. The new story now has only 1 chapter were Darth Vador easily crush the puny rebellion, then overthrow the emperor and have Jabba the Hut suck his dick. The project was dropped as Jabba's mouth isn't wide enough...
 
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