Facts About Captain Robau

[Aragorn]

Only Robau knows which came first -- the chicken or the egg.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Robau hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

"It isn't wise to upset Robau"

"But Sir, no-one worries about upsetting us Trek BBS posters"

"That's because Trek BBS posters don't rip people's arms out of their sockets if they lose. Robau is known to do that."

He's also known to hunt down and inflict inhuman amount of pain to posters that just ripoff facts from Star Wars, as if we wouldn't notice.

Oh, Robau already inflicted inhuman amounts of pain on me: by not appearing in any of the 10 preceding films nor the TV series. I was denied the awesomeness and badassery of Robau for years- how's that for a penalty?

 

[EnsignRicky]

If you strike him down, Robau will become more badass than you can possibly imagine.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If you strike him down, Robau will become more badass than you can possibly imagine.

And then he'll kill your ass so bad it will be as if you never existed.

 

[cooleddie74]

I have introduced the greatness of Robau to Twitter. Now it doesn't Tweet.

It Thumps.

 

[Aragorn]

When Robau buys a box of cereal, the prize inside is always at the top of the bag.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau buys only one cereal: Crunch Berries. Because only Crunch Berries has been scientifically proven to be badass enough to be worthy of his palate.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau buys only one cereal: Crunch Berries. Because only Crunch Berries has been scientifically proven to be badass enough to be worthy of his palate.

And if you dare try to dispute this you will know pain and terror beyond your understanding.

 

[Plecostomus]

If the store is out of Crunch Berries and Robau is in good mood he will buy a box of Crackling Oat Bran.

...but ONLY if he's in a good mood.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau buys only one cereal: Crunch Berries. Because only Crunch Berries has been scientifically proven to be badass enough to be worthy of his palate.

And if you dare try to dispute this you will know pain and terror beyond your understanding.

And beat you to death with a fistful of the prizes inside each box.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau is the prize.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Robau is the prize.

I visit the homes of Jehova's Witnesses to preach that blessed truth.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The RobauBle is the One True Word of The Badass Captain Robau.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

I just had to use this one here.

Captain Robau doesn't even need to fight his enemies he just glares them to death

 

[Islander]

Only Robau knows which came first -- the chicken or the egg.

If it's Robau that came first, we wouldn't have either at this point as both would be shit scared to come into existence.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Only Robau knows which came first -- the chicken or the egg.

If it's Robau that came first, we wouldn't have either at this point as both would be shit scared to come into existence.

Actually if Robau can first all of existance would then blink out as it wasn't yet strong enough to withstand Robau's awesomeness.

 

[Plecostomus]

Robau doesn't CARE what came first now damn it scramble those eggs and fry that chicken!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Little known fact:
Brain freeze is NOT caused by eating ice cream.
It is caused by Robau inflicting pain and punishment upon you for not sharing.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Captain Robau went to the corner of Michigan and Trumbull and sneezed. This was the result.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Khan lost the Eugenics Wars becuase Robau went back in time and shoved his foot up Khan's ass literally! Khan then fled on the Botany Bay because he was sulking over not being the most superior human in he galaxy.