Caption Contest 33: romulan dog park

[Triskelion]

Well stitch my catsuit and call me T'Sally, that was a real ridge-slapper. I should go ahead and declare everyone a winner, except I'm not allowed to nominate myself, so out that idea goes with yesterday's chef surprise.


Before we begin, a public service announcement:

...And now back to our regularly scheduled program... This week, on a very special Enterprise:


​

First Image:

Shuttlepod: "Argh! This is Archer, come in Enterprise! I've lost control of the shuttlepod, I'm going down! Mayday!"

T'Pol (thinking): Hmmm, where should I hang my portraits? Dog'll have to go, of course. How much bigger are these quarters, anyway?

Shuttlepod: "T'Pol! Help!"

Second Image:

T'Pol: It is inappropriate at this time to be doing your "Carnac the Magnificent" impression Ensign Sato.

Third Image:

T'Pol to reporter: "Be sure to photograph my good side."
Reporter: "I just did."

Photoshop Award:

T'POL (to Trip): "You told you were going to hide that tape somewhere safe! YOU PROMISED!!!"

Sorry, sex trumps keyboard cat!



Congratulations to our illustrious winers Deranged Nasat, captain crow, SFRabid, and Mach5! Welcome to the winner's circle one and all!



Your Prize:

An Instant Alien of the Week Kit! Surprise your colleagues and home caregivers with unexpected scaly growth!



Our next contest answers the question what do you get when you cross a brain-damaged Com officer with a little male bondage moonwalking: Step into the Minefield!

_____________________________________________
Mount up!

 

[SeerSGB]

"Hey guys, I just got back from the Tupperware convention...oh come on guys, I can see you moving around in there, I know you're home"

Hoshi: It was trifurcated!

Phlox: Look, I'm sorry but I slipped it in there by accident. It's just that I'm not familiar with the body of human females.

Archer: You know this is going to launch a thousand slash-fics?
Reed: Just shut up and adjust that oxygen inlet, it's really chaffing my nipple ring.

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "Is this the bright light they kept telling me about in red shirt school?"

Phlox: "So you have no memory whatsoever of who you are and what you do on this ship?"

Hoshi: "Nope."

Phlox: "Your name is Hoshi Sato and you're the ship's...bondage officer."

Archer: "Don't worry, he's not dead. His career is, though."

 

[SFRabid]

As Malcom listens to something skittering in the ceiling of the alien ship he wishes that he had not let Trip talk him into watching the two movies Alien and Aliens the night before.

Phlox: "If you don't stop picking at the pimple on your forehead you will end up with ridges bigger than mine."

Archer: "You could not tell me about your fear of heights BEFORE going on a space walk?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Hoshi:(Sobbing) "He slimed me doctor!"
Phlox: "I'll do a pregnancy test just to be sure....."

 

[Alrik]

Hoshi: "Very good Doctor. You have the cupping part down....but those aren't my tits."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thank you very much for the win!

"I don't usually do this, but...if you are up there, if you really exist....oh hell, look I really, really gotta pee and I don't know where the hook up for this bloody suit is".

Hoshi: "Doctor, for the last time, where is Sluggo?"

Phlox: "Let me tell you about a wonderful place, Hoshi, out past the moons of Antares. It's called Sluggy Heaven, and all good slugs, particularly those swollowed by Pyrithian bats, will go there".

 

[cooleddie74]

MALCOLM:"Bloody hell.

GREAT time for the overhead sewage conduit to start leaking."

PHLOX: "Look at it this way, Hoshi.

You're now the first Earth female in the entire history of your species to have given a handjob to a Denobulan while intoxicated."

MALCOLM:"That had BETTER be a tool I feel pressing against my chest, sir..."

ARCHER:"In a way...yes."

 

[cooleddie74]

Lt. Reed didn't mind having to run the trash out on Waste Ejection Day. He just hated walking under the main expulsion vent.

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as one of the winners Triskelion.

Sorry, sex trumps keyboard cat!

Either way a pussy was still involved.

Reed: Damn, I left my keys in my other space suit!

Phlox: I warned you not to take T'Pol's last breadstick.

Phlox: Maybe the crew wouldn't have smacked you around so much if you were less annoying.

 

[cooleddie74]

REED:"Bloody HELL!!

I brought the Samsonite instead of the medkit."

HOSHI:"He said he doesn't love me anymore."

PHLOX:"Ignore Commander Tucker. It's his time of the month."

 

[Alrik]

Reed: *cough, gag, cough* "Oh dear lord."

Archer: "I told you to never break wind during an EVA."

Reed: "No more cabbage....EVER."

 

[Captain Crow]

Archer: You can't die yet! You still owe me fifty bucks!

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

Hoshi: "Doctor, for the last time, where is Sluggo?"

Phlox: "Let me tell you about a wonderful place, Hoshi, out past the moons of Antares. It's called Sluggy Heaven, and all good slugs, particularly those swollowed by Pyrithian bats, will go there".

You're on a roll, DN!

 

[bluedana]

Archer: When I suggested that we go find a nice, quiet place to gaze at the stars, this is NOT what I meant, Malcolm!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PHLOX: Thats is a nasty bump. If you'll just disrobe...

HOSHI: I'm not that drunk!

PHLOX: Who's the doctor here?

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "Hello? Anyone there? I thought this contest would have actual Romulans in it. That's what the title implied! Come on, anybody?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Phlox: "Don't worry Hoshi, I've managed to reverse most of the genetic alterations. You'll be back to yourself in a couple of days. But I'll ask you one final time. Are you sure you don't want to keep the penis? It is prehensile."

 

[Nerys Myk]

REED: Yep, there's a hole all right. I'm gonna take off my helmet and see whats on the other side.

 

[cooleddie74]

REED:"Hold me, sir.

Hold me close...like you did that day the port nacelle buckled and we all thought we were done for."