TOS Caption Contest #119 - Sing Me A Song

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Will the end of it grow back?"

Scotty: "Show me my conception again. And slow it waaayyyyyyyy down."

Sulu: "If Spock didn't want me to make a cast of his penis, he shouldn't have drank so much."

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "No, really. Had no idea he was gay."

 

[Gertch]

Takei couldn't do anything with his boa until he blow

-dryed it.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Do I have to spell it out for you, Bones? There's no Santa Claus!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: I can't tell if this thing's cut or uncut.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "'Girdleburn'?"

Red Shirt: "'Robert the Bruce' looks more like 'Chad the Hairdresser.'"
Scotty: "Tell another soul that, and I'll kill ye with me bare hands, laddie."

Scotty: "Hmm. All white people were created by an African evil scientist named Yakub."
Uhura: "I fuggin' knew it."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk later formally apologized to Ambassador Fertuube for the helmsman using him as a colon cleanser.

 

[John Picard]

Red Green: ..." So remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Kirk: "Wha-? You mean to tell me you've never brought a broad home, gone to the bathroom to remove all of your clothes, and returned to the room where she is and feigned surprise that she was there?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Guy: "I'd do my best friend's driveway, but I caught him going through my wife's underwear drawer at Thanksgiving."

Kirk: "Then order me a Yeoman who can't get pregnant ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wha-? You mean to tell me you've never brought a broad home, gone to the bathroom to remove all of your clothes, and returned to the room where she is and feigned surprise that she was there?"

McCoy: "Is this another case of your 'mad cow disease?'"

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "I'm not in the new movie because I'm too fat."

McCoy: "I'm not in the new movie because I'm dead."

 

[Shatmandu]

Guy: "I just hit the neighbor's kid with a frozen possum at fifty feet."

Kirk: "These pants too tight?"
McCoy: "Well, I can tell you're Jewish ..."

Perv: "One snow-blower tip? Don't get drunk and take the name literally."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Don't whine and say I didn't warn you ahead of time.

I told you last night I was going to eat that whole can of peanuts before I gave you the sample this morning."

"Would you like to give to the Church of Temporal Conscience?"

WORST beef jerky log ever.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Actually...it's this long.

But since you'll never let yourself get drunk and vulnerable enough, you'll never know, Bones."

UHURA:"Did you see that?"

SCOTTY:"Aye, lass.

The Captain and Mister Spock missed 1930 and ended up in 1979...in Studio 54!"

GALLOWAY:"Those two are coming back in body bags."

 

[Rat Boy]

UHURA:"Did you see that?"

SCOTTY:"Aye, lass.

The Captain and Mister Spock missed 1930 and ended up in 1979...in Studio 54!"

GALLOWAY:"Those two are coming back in body bags."

Carl: "Why you jive turkeys looking at us like that?"

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA:"Did you see that?"

SCOTTY:"Aye, lass.

The Captain and Mister Spock missed 1930 and ended up in 1979...in Studio 54!"

GALLOWAY:"Those two are coming back in body bags."

Carl: "Why you jive turkeys looking at us like that?"

Kirk: "We partied too hard back there, bro. We did a little too much LDS."

 

[cooleddie74]

This week on THE RED GREEN SHOW...

Red tests his new home-built, gas-powered Feces Flinger on some unruly neighbors up at Possum Lodge!

"Don't look at me, Bones.

YOU were the last one to eat the synthesized tuna casserole."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Doesn't everyone leave skid marks on their undies?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Sulu, singing:, "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! Pretty, witty, and..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "So I put the Gaileo II as collateral to bet on St. Louis. So sue me!"

McCoy: "And the Columbus?"

Kirk: "That was on Carolina."

McCoy: "And the Einstein?!"

Kirk: "That was on Green Bay, but don't worry; I put the Copernicus down for a double-or-nothing bet on the Packers against Detroit. No way they're losing to the Lions and Lambeau."