Did you notify a mod at the time?
My point is this: I did notify a mod then and there, and zero action was taken, not even a polite private reply to me, nor a general friendly to the offender. This is the defining and significant point.
I didn't because I didn't believe anything would be done about it.
Wth all due respect, how do you know? Maybe you should try next time. I think the mods in Misc are more than reasonable (and though I'm biased a bit, I try to be objective about this
). Even if it's not actionable, many mods are open to conversation via PM about these sorts of problems.
And
An Officer, you might try to PM one of the mods when your notify isn't responded to. There are many reasons a notify might not get an in-thread response or a personal response, and not always because you're not being taken seriously!
BTW, the all-male Misc mod-dom is a little disheartening sometimes to the women of the board, but I think our Misc modmen do try to be reasonable. I think if you don't think they will see where you're coming from right away, you might want to PM one of them personally.
For every poster saying they want to punch Paris Hilton there's a hundred "men do this", "men do that" posts.
Links? I can't think of any off the top of my head. Besides, there are some male (and female) posters, and mods, who try to police that behavior fairly well. I know that I'd always call out that crappy kind of generalization when I see it, regardless of the gender. I think my, and
An Officer's observation is that this has a tendency to be one-sided, and it is
not on the side of women getting their digs in about men.
This board is male-dominated. This forum is male-dominated. All the Misc mods are male. I hardly think "For every poster saying they want to punch Paris Hilton there's a hundred "men do this", "men do that" posts." I think that's a perception you might have, because of the harm you've suffered due to these kinds of comments before.
I'm empathetic to whatever you must have gone through, believe me. But there are other people out there who have suffered mistreatment, and we try to be as fair as we can. I know it's not easy, because mistreatment colors one's world differently for a very long time. We just ask that you understand that some of what you do is specifically picking on what you consider to be a generalized woman's view of a man, and an unfairness of perceived requirements of the sexes, and not all of it is reasonable, rational, logical, or on-topic.
There's a hundred threads like this one saying men should just put up with things that no woman would tolerate.
References? At the very least, this is an exaggeration. There's plenty of discussion about female stereotypes - 100 to 1? I think you're looking for things that aren't there. References: From slutty confused cousins to older women to those girls that string you along and then they're dating your best friend, this stuff is everywhere. I was in a thread not too long ago (right before my last unofficial 'hiatus') where it was impossible to convince the populace that women were NOT gold diggers by default, especially younger women (the culture was blamed, but that doesn't change its misogynistic nature).
Perhaps while I was away there was a glut of threads about men who were plain jerks and whaddyathinkaboutthatgirls, etc, and I just missed them. But I haven't noticed any 100 to 1 ratio since I've been back. Then again, I don't read threads that don't look interesting to me, and those wouldn't be. So perhaps I've just missed them.
At any rate, this is a male dominated board. Men's issues are much more likely to come up than women's issues. I've seen a lot more
men calling out the behavior of other men, than women calling out the behavior of men, or men calling out the behavior of women. That has to do with the composition of the board's population, and nothing else.
If you want to see that as men getting ragged on and women getting a free pass, go ahead. But you're wrong, and us women hearing you reiterating these points again and again isn't forwarding your agenda of equality, it's making you look like a misogynist.
I'm really trying to say this as respectfully as possible, because I like you
Hermiod, and remember interacting with you a lot. But I'm not just going to stand down when I see this kind of stuff coming up again and again --- especially when it's driving me from this board (and perhaps some other TBBS women) again and again.
Two posters expressed annoyance, not distress, with being touched inappropriately. I can still see no logical explanation as to why they should not feel that way. They're not diminishing or trying to diminish victims of much worse sexual assault, but I can't see why Elmo thinks their annoyance highlights the misogyny on this board.
The fact is, it was posters complaining about female friends, with that same kind of sense of 'why do we have to put up with these cheating, freaked out, manipulative women, etc etc' that I see all over the goddamned place. But you know what? It was mostly lighthearted. It didn't have to be about women. *I* didn't make it about women, and I don't think they intended to make it about women.
Hermiod, when it comes down to it, *you* are the one who dragged your baggage into this light-hearted thread:
^Aside from setting them up with dates, what would you suggest ? I know you're not suggesting that they have sex with their (apparently less than sober) friends.
You're putting words in people's mouths. You're acting like you *want* them to think in misandrist ways, because it will prove the point you always seem to want to make.
You might not believe this, but I'm staunchly opposed to *anything* I see, hear, or read that's misandrist. I think it's disgusting, and I try to speak out against it. But that doesn't mean every single comment a women makes about a *person* taking responsibility for their life and friendships by confronting rather than lapsing into victimhood, or taking abuse --- with that person happening to be male --- is an example of misandry.
It's unfair to put words into the mouths of other posters. And sure, I'm not saint, but I try to police myself as best I can.
Gloria did *not* deserve to get jumped on, because you have a beef with women calling out behaviors that happen to be associated with something a man is doing. Especially not in a joke thread.
Sounds like an interesting "date".
