I'm jealous of this guy my gf always hangs out with. They're always flirting. Any advice on how I can get him out of the picture (other than marooning him on Ceti Alpha V - that never goes well).
Relationship Problem
- Thread starter Captain Zog
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That's a tough one.
Do you have reason to be jealous of him or think that there's a chance he's making a move on your GF? How strong is your relationship with your GF; has she given you reason in the past or signs now that she has or might stray? You might want to sit down with her, maybe both of them, and explain how you feel and why and see if a compromise can be reached.
I'll tell you from experience, the whole "your friends or me" ultitamatium really causes a serious shit storm and can put a relatioship through he wringer.
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Elmo Dukat
Guest
If your GF is flirting with a guy, that sounds like a problem with her, and not the guy. If you get rid of him, there will always be more guys to take his place. My suggestion is to let her know that you've noticed her doing this, and talk about it. You have to confront her - it takes two to play the flirting game.
Plecostomus
Commodore
My advice is to GET A NEW GIRLFRIEND as this one will cause you nothing but issues down the road.
Provided we do this discreetly, it's a deal.
I'm all about discretion. That's why we're discussing it openly on a BBS that's read by thousands of people.
Good. I'm looking for regular clients. Business has been slow. With the economy the way it is less people are willing to "deal" with "problems."
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Elmo Dukat
Guest
LOL I LOVE YOUR NEW AVATAR!!!!! What a GREAT strip today.
Okay, back to the thread.
I second Union Elf's assertion.
The truth may be what people always advise against when dealing with the female species, but it is the simplest and often easier path. Be up front, say it makes you uncomfortable, if she gives at all about you, she'd better care about that.
It doesn't have to be an ultimatim, you can tell her to tone that down. After all, she wouldn't want you flirting with everybody in sight either.
It doesn't have to be an ultimatim, you can tell her to tone that down. After all, she wouldn't want you flirting with everybody in sight either.
She might not even notice that she's doing it. Some people are flirty just as a natural part of their personality. Granted, that can lead to the other party taking it the wrong way, but it's something that should be discussed. There's nothing lost but time by talking first, but once you kick her to the curb that's the nuke.
I would advise that you let her talk to who she wants to. She is her very own person and not yours to decide who moves in and out of her life. Why would you want to control her friends like that?
Talk about it yes, but respect that she likes this friend and the bottom line is, it is her decision. She will appreciate your respect more than your jealousy.
And I third it.
Thats what I've usually done, though women I'vve dated that have done that have typically done it out or spite or revenge over an issue I didn't know was there as it was never talked about.
Which can be annoying.
Though talking should always be the first route. If theres a problem, try to fix it, if fixing it fails - break up, but always make sure you're not in the wrong so no blame can come to you
Thats a problem I used to have a lot. It took me a while to realise it, though.
You need to tell her that you find their relationship uncomfortable.
How about this: Try flirting with another girl when your GF is watching. See how she likes it. If she complains, then tell her that now she knows how you feel about this shit.
I'll second what has been said and say confront her about it, and let her know how what she's doing makes you feel. If she didn't realize it and will stop, no harm, no foul. If she knew what she was doing and doesn't stop, gets defensive about it, gets mad at you for being bothered by it, or all of the above, then I'd say you've got a serious problem.
My ex would have male friends that I had never even met over at her house late at night...and thought it was okay. Just one of the factors that lead to my breaking up with her.
I would recommend against that, as it's really immature and wouldn't help the situation at all.
My ex would have male friends that I had never even met over at her house late at night...and thought it was okay. Just one of the factors that lead to my breaking up with her.
I would recommend against that, as it's really immature and wouldn't help the situation at all.
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Elmo Dukat
Guest
Not a good idea. If she really does know that she's flirting, then it's sinking to her level. If she doesn't, then it's shooting yourself in the foot.
Best thing is to avoid immature playyard revenge-getting and confront her. Let her know, nicely and as pleasantly as possibly, that her behavior with this guy is making you uncomfortable, and why. Don't assume she's doing it maliciously, in case she isn't, but if she keeps doing it even after you confront her cut your losses.
hellsgate
Commodore
Find the guy a girlfriend that wouldn't want him skulking around ~Your~ woman. An ex will do nicely. A cousin or co-worker that wouldn't be entirely disgusted at the idea of sleeping with him on the first, second or third date. Problem solved. Your woman sees him sleazing around with a woman with a bad reputation for being easy & possible 'home-wrecking'....Your Woman makes herself suddenly VERY unavailable to him in a big way!
Uh...no.
Just confront her about it, let her know how you feel. What she does and says after that will determine what happens next.
That's a really bad idea.
Don't play games.
Explain to her how you feel if you care about the relationship. It's not Babaganoosh's fault, though... you DID come to a Star Trek forum for relationship advice
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