That $20 would be money well spent So long as you have an audit trail that will pin her ears back is all that counts. Hang in there.
I agree. I think that if we're going to send checks, $20/mo is money well spent. If we're doing direct deposit, then that's taken care of (as long as we can have the bank verify the information in advance, with a test deposit). In fact, now I'm kicking myself for not having thought of certified mail earlier. We sent this week's check out Wednesday morning...she could very well just rip it up. Next one is certified mail, definitely. If she doesn't deposit the check within a week or so, we'll tell her we'll assume that she didn't get the check, cancel it, and issue her a new one (through certified mail).
Go to your Post Office and get both the card and the tracking tag. I used to get enough to last a year. Fill out the card and then pick a tracking tag and write the tracking number in the memo field of the check. Seal everything and even apply the long, slender sticker portion of the tracking number to the card and then the larger, corresponding sticker portion to the left of the stamp. I'm certain you know how this is done. Then, when the check clears, print out both sides (I'm thinking both sides of the image print on the same page) and staple it to your returned card. My philosophy for doing this was if she wanted to play games and tear up checks and hold me in contempt was to show a history of her having received and cashed the checks as I could marry up the check with the card based on the tracking number; otherwise, IMHO, there's no proof what check was with what mailing and it allows for wiggle room. One thing I've learned about dealing with an ex, judges, and lawyers is that I assume every one of them has the IQ of a turnip and everything has to be spelled out and coordinated.
She's your psychopath, you are paying for it! I'm paying protection money so that my wallet doesn't get raped if she wants to take us back to court, which I will have to help you pay for even though I've never met or talked to this horrible semi-human being.
What about bill pay thru your banking system Since she is obviously not a business, the system sends her a check which she then cashes... The beauty of that system is that you have proof you sent it (by the bank) and with the cashed check you get a second level of proof
But if there's a problem with the bank, it's still on you. The most reliable and traceable means is a check sent via the USPS.
Crap. For the uninitiated, I forgot to add that the receipts from the Post Office, the Certified Delivery card, and all of that will have dates. So, if your payment has to be to her by a certain date (or at least mailed), you have proof positive. That way, is she drags her feet for a few days to get to the Post Office she can't complain you were late in remitting payment. That's something the above mentioned bank payment can't guarantee and can fail. This is one example where document, document, document will always be on your side.
I'm hoping that she comes to see this before too long. After all, she is just a kid and it's understandable that she would be confused and miss what is familiar and miss her friends. Hopefully, she will soon realize who really cares about her and who has expended so much effort and expense on her behalf, and will change her mind. And if that's precipitated by R's financial collapse, so much the better.
Yeah, we feel the same way, RJ. And we thought that the kids had their heads screwed on a bit better...but at this time in their lives it's very difficult for them to see very far past their own noses. It'll take time, but they'll understand what actually happened one day, when their mom is bumming money from them or is otherwise harassing them in their adult lives.