And mine as well.
And mine as well.
Jeeez 
Sounds like what I'm going through with my ex. She conned my son into wanting to live with her, and at the hearing both she and her mother lied through their teeth. The judge disregarded the Guardian Ad Litem's report and said, "He stated a preference". The fun part is that my ex can't handle money and as such hasn't paid her lawyer. That bozo won't sign the paperwork, which needs to be properly filed so that the state Department of Human Services can garnish my paycheck for Child Support. So, what I do is head to my lawyer's office each month and write a check to him. He deposits that money into his client trust account and then makes a check payable to both her and her lawyer. We figure she has to drive all the way to her lawyer's office to sign the check and then he can hold her feet to the fire for payment.
I've filed for custody again as my son's grades have gone downhill, he is apathetic towards school, plus he's been arrested for assault and is currently on probaltion with a municipal court. The GAL supports the motion 100% and can't stand my ex. There's more to it than that, but as Elmo and Spocked know, the manipulators tend to get away with a lot.
Elmo, so long as you have copies of checks that have cleared, you're gold. I'd go fight that she's purposefully trying to alienate the children from their dad. My ex has been doing that with me, which is in my petition to get custody back to me.
Sounds like what I'm going through with my ex. She conned my son into wanting to live with her, and at the hearing both she and her mother lied through their teeth. The judge disregarded the Guardian Ad Litem's report and said, "He stated a preference". The fun part is that my ex can't handle money and as such hasn't paid her lawyer. That bozo won't sign the paperwork, which needs to be properly filed so that the state Department of Human Services can garnish my paycheck for Child Support. So, what I do is head to my lawyer's office each month and write a check to him. He deposits that money into his client trust account and then makes a check payable to both her and her lawyer. We figure she has to drive all the way to her lawyer's office to sign the check and then he can hold her feet to the fire for payment.I've filed for custody again as my son's grades have gone downhill, he is apathetic towards school, plus he's been arrested for assault and is currently on probaltion with a municipal court. The GAL supports the motion 100% and can't stand my ex. There's more to it than that, but as Elmo and Spocked know, the manipulators tend to get away with a lot.
Elmo, so long as you have copies of checks that have cleared, you're gold. I'd go fight that she's purposefully trying to alienate the children from their dad. My ex has been doing that with me, which is in my petition to get custody back to me.
I'm so sorry, Elmo. My wife's ex can be uncooperative and harmful to the kids, too. We've even seen a moderate amount of parental alienation syndrome. But he doesn't sound quite as sociopathological as Ed's ex.
For me to handle it, I have to detach from it as best I can, otherwise I can become extremely resentful. I wish you well -- we all care about you!
For me to handle it, I have to detach from it as best I can, otherwise I can become extremely resentful. I wish you well -- we all care about you!
Wow, I thought it was all going so well.
I've got to ask: how did the kids allow themselves to be so easily manipulated after all they've been through? Oh, I know, I know, she's their mother, they can't help but love her, plus it sounds like she's promised Party Central, where you and SPOCKED were probably trying to get the grounded with a little discipline. I don't mean that unkindly - it took me a LONG time to figure out we all need discipline, from without and within.
And as discussed elsewhere, maybe you two can do some hiking to relieve the stress, out in nature, all that kind of thing.
Just want you to know, I think about you guys every day, and wish only the best for you.
I've got to ask: how did the kids allow themselves to be so easily manipulated after all they've been through? Oh, I know, I know, she's their mother, they can't help but love her, plus it sounds like she's promised Party Central, where you and SPOCKED were probably trying to get the grounded with a little discipline. I don't mean that unkindly - it took me a LONG time to figure out we all need discipline, from without and within.
And as discussed elsewhere, maybe you two can do some hiking to relieve the stress, out in nature, all that kind of thing.
Just want you to know, I think about you guys every day, and wish only the best for you.
I wonder if there's some way to tie child support to the frequency of visits.
But the worst thing is that she has somehow come between the kids and you guys. I hope this is just a phase that they are going through and they will soon come to miss you.
But the worst thing is that she has somehow come between the kids and you guys. I hope this is just a phase that they are going through and they will soon come to miss you.
The big "emergency" with Tori was getting her into the new High School. R pushed and shoved, got an affadavit from Tori and her lawyer ramrodded a court appointment through. We weren't even on the docket that morning. Anyway, with Tori's desire to return home (because she missed her friends and her old room even though I allowed her every weekend at her mom's house beginning after school on Friday through Sunday evening) it was a losing battle on my side. Tori was doing so well in school - great grades and she made a lot of friends. Now here it is two weeks later and her mother only just got her registered today. So not only has Tori missed 2 weeks of school, she's not even acclimated to it yet. I fear she'll lose the momentum she's had going while she was here with us. Big emergency my ass. The big emergency was to get more child support to keep the house. R dumped her useless husband as a lure to get the kids back, poor bastard - he never saw it coming. At least that creep is out of their lives for good.
I don't know where R is going with this claim that I am late with child support. I have printed the last few months of the deposited checks that she's signed. Every week is covered. I wrote my lawyer today and included copies of all the deposits since September. I explained that I want it documented that she is threatening and harrassing me. What a world
I don't know where R is going with this claim that I am late with child support. I have printed the last few months of the deposited checks that she's signed. Every week is covered. I wrote my lawyer today and included copies of all the deposits since September. I explained that I want it documented that she is threatening and harrassing me. What a world
It really doesn't matter what she says - it's what the Mass DOR says. If they show you are up to date you should be okay.
I'm sorry things have gone so far downhill. At least you both have each other to help through these tough times. And of course us here to lend words of encouragement.
I've been up since 3:30am and I'm exhausted, but not so tired as to not agree with J 100%.
this is just crazy.
how quickly the kids have forgotten just how crazy the ex herself could be when she was drinking ect..
i hate to say this but if she has turned the house into party central if you can shake the money lose have her investigated to see if she is letting the kids drink ect..
it is just troubling they would go back there so fast.
and if tori does she a regression at school you should be able to use that.
how quickly the kids have forgotten just how crazy the ex herself could be when she was drinking ect..
i hate to say this but if she has turned the house into party central if you can shake the money lose have her investigated to see if she is letting the kids drink ect..
it is just troubling they would go back there so fast.
and if tori does she a regression at school you should be able to use that.
Here are some excerpts from (R's aunt) Martha who as some of you know has been my close friend and confidant; my eyes and ears into the goings on with my ex-wife..
What I tried so hard to explain to Tori was that, no matter what, R is going to be having a hard time holding on to that house. And if she loses it and has to move, THEN what are you going to do? If "friends" are the reason you wish to go back, consider that teenage friends are not always lifelong friends - that these people typically disappear after high school. But I will always be here... Everything about Tori going back was a big risk. And now Martha reveals that indeed R is in financial trouble. We don't know what she'll get moneywise from her ex. And this is why R has begun knitpicking me for monies I've already paid.
Elmo and I are in court "fatigue." I made it very clear to Tori that if this is her final decision, and after I've armed her with the facts, that (aside from a crisis, of course) this is it. She'll have to live with the consequences because we just can't continue to rack up legal bills on top of more child support. Our lives are moving on to happier things.
What I tried so hard to explain to Tori was that, no matter what, R is going to be having a hard time holding on to that house. And if she loses it and has to move, THEN what are you going to do? If "friends" are the reason you wish to go back, consider that teenage friends are not always lifelong friends - that these people typically disappear after high school. But I will always be here... Everything about Tori going back was a big risk. And now Martha reveals that indeed R is in financial trouble. We don't know what she'll get moneywise from her ex. And this is why R has begun knitpicking me for monies I've already paid.
Elmo and I are in court "fatigue." I made it very clear to Tori that if this is her final decision, and after I've armed her with the facts, that (aside from a crisis, of course) this is it. She'll have to live with the consequences because we just can't continue to rack up legal bills on top of more child support. Our lives are moving on to happier things.
^^ I know the feeling. My ex loves to threaten me with, "... I'll just call my lawyer" or her other favorite, "...get ready to go back to court". My secret is that I let those words go right off of my back because I know: 1) she has no money, which leads to 2) her lawyer isn't going to give her the time of day until he gets paid, and finally 3) lawyers aren't going to be filing frivolous bullshit and will tell the other to get it straight. Yeah, court fatigue sucks, but like your source tells you, she's broke and grasping at straws. Once she pays out enough rope and hangs herself, it will be evident to the courts which parent will look out for the child's best interests.
E
Elmo Dukat
Guest
This actually really makes me feel better. While I'm not relishing the prospect of having her harassing and threatening us for the next 3 1/2 years, it sounds like if we just stand our ground, there's not much she can do to us.
Yep. Stand your ground. If you have copies of cleared checks (front and back), then you're good. Just don't respond no matter how much she rants, raves, or threatens you. I get a mild thrill when that happens, because the end result of it backfiring in her face is absolutely priceless.
Just wondering, is there some way to make these child support payment checks thru some sort of system
It's possible that out of simple spite she might not cash the next check just to perpetuate the claim that SPOCKED isn't paying
I am saying this because I knew a collections manager at a finance company who received a payment and ripped the check right in front of me so he wouldn't have to call the repo off... I know it's not related to your family issues, but it sounds crazy enough that "R" might do it to make you look bad
It's possible that out of simple spite she might not cash the next check just to perpetuate the claim that SPOCKED isn't paying
I am saying this because I knew a collections manager at a finance company who received a payment and ripped the check right in front of me so he wouldn't have to call the repo off... I know it's not related to your family issues, but it sounds crazy enough that "R" might do it to make you look bad
^ While I wouldn't put it past her, I think she's too desperate for money right now. When I call her, I'm going to tell her I have all her deposited support checks for the last several months and I'll provide her with those copies. That should shut her ass up. And then I'm going to STRONGLY suggest that she provides my HR with information so we can set up a Direct Deposit to preclude this issue from ever being raised again.
SHE has to provide HR information? Just make sure you get a look at that information, or some court official does, to make sure it's accurate information.
On an aside--it angers me that fathers get shafted this way in our legal system. Not only is it sexist, but it's quite unfair to the children then left to live with an unfit mother.
Nope. Use Certified Mail. When I had to pay my ex alimony, I sent her check via Certified with Restricted Delivery (meaning only she could sign for the envelope). To top it off, I got a stack of cards from the Post Office and the tracking slip that the PO uses. I would write the tracking number in the memo field of the check, so that it all corresponded with the card that was returned to Certify Delivery. If a letter had to accompany that check, I would write the tracking number on the letter and photocopy it.
The name of the game is CYA. If I were you, I'd be harping on my lawyer and get the info to HR myself.
You weren't forced to go through Mass DOR? That's good though. She could have made a complaint and they would have frozen your bank account until they had it resolved.
Yay for keeping checks!
^ Nope, no DOR order 
JP, certified is the best option (I happen to run the mail room and am very familiar with certifieds) however, this would cost me over $20/month. (I can hear you saying 'that's $20 well spent'
) But I'm a cheap bastard 
Direct deposit is free and I have all the proof I need with the check copies.
JP, certified is the best option (I happen to run the mail room and am very familiar with certifieds) however, this would cost me over $20/month. (I can hear you saying 'that's $20 well spent'
) But I'm a cheap bastard Direct deposit is free and I have all the proof I need with the check copies.Similar threads
