You can't get blood from a stone

[John Picard]

^ Nope, no DOR order

JP, certified is the best option (I happen to run the mail room and am very familiar with certifieds) however, this would cost me over $20/month. (I can hear you saying 'that's $20 well spent' ) But I'm a cheap bastard Direct deposit is free and I have all the proof I need with the check copies.

That $20 would be money well spent

So long as you have an audit trail that will pin her ears back is all that counts. Hang in there.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

^ Nope, no DOR order

JP, certified is the best option (I happen to run the mail room and am very familiar with certifieds) however, this would cost me over $20/month. (I can hear you saying 'that's $20 well spent' ) But I'm a cheap bastard Direct deposit is free and I have all the proof I need with the check copies.

That $20 would be money well spent

So long as you have an audit trail that will pin her ears back is all that counts. Hang in there.

I agree. I think that if we're going to send checks, $20/mo is money well spent. If we're doing direct deposit, then that's taken care of (as long as we can have the bank verify the information in advance, with a test deposit).

In fact, now I'm kicking myself for not having thought of certified mail earlier. We sent this week's check out Wednesday morning...she could very well just rip it up. Next one is certified mail, definitely. If she doesn't deposit the check within a week or so, we'll tell her we'll assume that she didn't get the check, cancel it, and issue her a new one (through certified mail).

 

[SPOCKED]

^ then you're paying for it!!

oh wait!!

 

[John Picard]

^ then you're paying for it!!

oh wait!!

Go to your Post Office and get both the card and the tracking tag. I used to get enough to last a year. Fill out the card and then pick a tracking tag and write the tracking number in the memo field of the check. Seal everything and even apply the long, slender sticker portion of the tracking number to the card and then the larger, corresponding sticker portion to the left of the stamp. I'm certain you know how this is done. Then, when the check clears, print out both sides (I'm thinking both sides of the image print on the same page) and staple it to your returned card.

My philosophy for doing this was if she wanted to play games and tear up checks and hold me in contempt was to show a history of her having received and cashed the checks as I could marry up the check with the card based on the tracking number; otherwise, IMHO, there's no proof what check was with what mailing and it allows for wiggle room. One thing I've learned about dealing with an ex, judges, and lawyers is that I assume every one of them has the IQ of a turnip and everything has to be spelled out and coordinated.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

She's your psychopath, you are paying for it! I'm paying protection money so that my wallet doesn't get raped if she wants to take us back to court, which I will have to help you pay for even though I've never met or talked to this horrible semi-human being.

 

[DanCPA]

What about bill pay thru your banking system
Since she is obviously not a business, the system sends her a check which she then cashes... The beauty of that system is that you have proof you sent it (by the bank) and with the cashed check you get a second level of proof

 

[John Picard]

What about bill pay thru your banking system
Since she is obviously not a business, the system sends her a check which she then cashes... The beauty of that system is that you have proof you sent it (by the bank) and with the cashed check you get a second level of proof

But if there's a problem with the bank, it's still on you.

The most reliable and traceable means is a check sent via the USPS.

 

[TheSeeker]

Damn, I hope you guys can catch a break soon! My thoughts are with you SPOCKED and Elmo.

 

[John Picard]

Crap. For the uninitiated, I forgot to add that the receipts from the Post Office, the Certified Delivery card, and all of that will have dates. So, if your payment has to be to her by a certain date (or at least mailed), you have proof positive. That way, is she drags her feet for a few days to get to the Post Office she can't complain you were late in remitting payment. That's something the above mentioned bank payment can't guarantee and can fail.

This is one example where document, document, document will always be on your side.

 

[RJDiogenes]

What I tried so hard to explain to Tori was that, no matter what, R is going to be having a hard time holding on to that house. And if she loses it and has to move, THEN what are you going to do? If "friends" are the reason you wish to go back, consider that teenage friends are not always lifelong friends - that these people typically disappear after high school. But I will always be here...

I'm hoping that she comes to see this before too long. After all, she is just a kid and it's understandable that she would be confused and miss what is familiar and miss her friends. Hopefully, she will soon realize who really cares about her and who has expended so much effort and expense on her behalf, and will change her mind.

And if that's precipitated by R's financial collapse, so much the better.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

Yeah, we feel the same way, RJ. And we thought that the kids had their heads screwed on a bit better...but at this time in their lives it's very difficult for them to see very far past their own noses. It'll take time, but they'll understand what actually happened one day, when their mom is bumming money from them or is otherwise harassing them in their adult lives.