Dumped

[FrontLine]

If he helps her move, he's a chump. Move on.

I third that motion. Don't do it Apostle!!!

Go get a counselor first

I just want her to be safe.

she made her bed, she gets to lie in it. Don't be a tool. Don't try to use this as a back end way to get in her good graces.

Screw the little dumb-ass. Find someone with a spine & a fuckin' brain. She dumped you over a fuckin' dream or some dumb shit like that? Trust me. I'm 32 years old & had this same numb-nuts kind of thing done to me in 1995.

The same little welfare-case will be pregnant with some carnival ride operator's kid inside of a year. These little shits go through phases. Guys with leather jackets, criminal records, aspiring musicians, drug dealers, etc.

They never see the "best-of-all-possible-worlds" scenario for them such as going back to school (college, university, etc.) right in front of them until reality sets in.

Reality for the kind of twit that dumped you doesn't set-in until after everyone else has moved on, nailed down a 9-to-5 job, married, shacked-up common-law, had kids, etc.

Usually meaning that your friends will no longer have room for your ex & her idiot boyfriend (& likely a kid or two,) on their couches after the twits have been evicted from the guy's apartment or booted out of both their parents' basements for whatever reason.

Damn thats nasty, rough as all get out, and pretty much true in a broad sense

 

[Emher]

I just want her to be safe.

Take it from someone who held on way to long to his feelings for his ex: don't feel like that. She made her choice and now she has to take the consequences of it. That may sound mean but it's better for you in the long run.

 

[JuanBolio]

Well, that's the thing. She tended to hold things in and then burst it all out at once.

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

 

[Worf412]

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

 

[apostle83]

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

I told my ex from the beginning that as this was 70% over the phone and through email that we had to let the other person know when something was bothering us.

 

[SeerSGB]

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

I told my ex from the beginning that as this was 70% over the phone and through email that we had to let the other person know when something was bothering us.

Guess what: In her mind, it's still your fault.

 

[May 20]

apostle, hon, I'm very sorry. I know this hurts worse than you probably ever thought it could. But, the pain will ease with time. Time has a way of rubbing away the sharp edges of a hurt, leaving something managable in its place.

If you can take the dog and love the dog and treat it as a dog and not as a reminder of her, then take the dog. If you can't, please find the dog another home.

Do not help her move. She's a big girl, and she'll be just fine. Jenee is right on this, so re-read her post.

Prayers for you as you mend your broken heart.

 

[FrontLine]

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

I think the issue is that many of us do pick up on these things. Then we ask whats wrong, then we get the 'nothing at all ' answer. Wash, rinse, repeat until she finally blows her stack.

 

[SeerSGB]

Apostle look at it this way, it could have been worse. You could have went up to visit her in school and ended up catching her with another boyfriend.

 

[apostle83]

Apostle look at it this way, it could have been worse. You could have went up to visit her in school and ended up catching her with another boyfriend.

 

[blablover5]

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

I think the issue is that many of us do pick up on these things. Then we ask whats wrong, then we get the 'nothing at all ' answer. Wash, rinse, repeat until she finally blows her stack.

Oh please I get the same thing from my guy. He clams up a lot and I have to pry it out of him. Luckily I can figure out when he's in a pissy mood.

I just tell him that he looks like he needs a juice box and a nap.

 

[JuanBolio]

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

Men are direct (usually). We don't DO subtlety. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we're not going to play games. Speak your mind or don't, but don't act like nothing's wrong and then blow your stack with no warning. That's a sign of serious emotional instability.

 

[Lookingglassman]

I feel bad for you, but this kind of seems a silly reason to break up. I am a Christian also, but I believe a person can lose his relationship with God. Look at it this way: God can't abide sin in His presence and He is a fair and just God. Now if a christian suddenly developed a taste for murder and started murdering folks all the while trying to live for God and that christian dies, do you honestly think God would let that dude into Heaven?

If God did that then He is a liar and not just. Heck, the devil used to be one of the highest angels and served God for countless years until he fell and he still believes in God and according to the Bible he can actually come into His throne room if he is allowed, so do you think God is going to just forgive him and let him back into heaven? NOPE!

 

[Kestra]

Well, that's the thing. She tended to hold things in and then burst it all out at once.

I've had the same problem with almost every woman I've ever dated. Why do women do this? Can't they say what's bothering them AS it bothers them, and avoid this kind of explosive emotional decompression?

Not all women do. I gave up on hints of any sort a long time ago. If I'm upset about something to the point where it's significant, I just sit my guy down and tell him exactly what I'm upset about and the degree to which I'm upset. He gets some time to process it, and we talk about it later.

 

[Jim Steele]

Don't help her move, for fuck sake. That's just a lovesick puppy maneuver.

 

[Ulva]

That's a sign of serious emotional instability.

Now that's being a bit patronising IMO. Acting like that is just a different way of dealing with things. Some hope that someone will for once truly understand them from the start. To others it's a way of finding out if the person is attentive enough or if you really are compatible.

I agree that it's not a very effective way of communicating though.

Apostle, I don't agree with much you have said around here but being dumped is no walk in the park. I'm sorry. However, if she has made this decision she needs to take the consequences of it too. Let her go and let her fend for herself. She'll manage and when this is over you'll know that it was the right thing to do. You easily end up being walked all over if you stick around like that.

And it will take time to grieve. About a year is quite normal. The comfort is though that you'll be wiser once this is behind you.

 

[JuanBolio]

Some hope that someone will for once truly understand them from the start. To others it's a way of finding out if the person is attentive enough or if you really are compatible.

I don't mean to insult anyone in particular, but to me it seems like a game, and I don't like playing.

 

[Jenee]

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

Men are direct (usually). We don't DO subtlety. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we're not going to play games. Speak your mind or don't, but don't act like nothing's wrong and then blow your stack with no warning. That's a sign of serious emotional instability.

If you know there's something wrong, why act stupid and say 'what's wrong?' Just address the issue.

You know what's wrong. You just want her to be the one to bring it up so you can say 'oh, that! that means nothing.'

 

[SeerSGB]

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

Men are direct (usually). We don't DO subtlety. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we're not going to play games. Speak your mind or don't, but don't act like nothing's wrong and then blow your stack with no warning. That's a sign of serious emotional instability.

If you know there's something wrong, why act stupid and say 'what's wrong?' Just address the issue.

You know what's wrong. You just want her to be the one to bring it up so you can say 'oh, that! that means nothing.'

Or we [men] might know that something is wrong in a general sense but not what is wrong in the specific.

 

[JuanBolio]

Why can't men pick up on subtle hints without a woman feeling the need to resort to an all out explosion?

Men are direct (usually). We don't DO subtlety. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we're not going to play games. Speak your mind or don't, but don't act like nothing's wrong and then blow your stack with no warning. That's a sign of serious emotional instability.

If you know there's something wrong, why act stupid and say 'what's wrong?' Just address the issue.

You know what's wrong. You just want her to be the one to bring it up so you can say 'oh, that! that means nothing.'

NO. We can usually clue in when something is bothering you, but we're annoyed that you choose to lie about it and play games. We often don't have any idea WHAT the problem is. We're not mind-readers, and we don't like being treated like we're failing at something because of it.