TOS Caption Contest #94 - Best of Show

[Shatmandu]

The results of California allowing gay marriage in 2008:

Kirk: "... written your own vows?"
Scotty: "Aye. Lass, it started as an infatuation, but my love for ye has grown hotter than an anti-matter pile ..."

Kirk (log entry): "When a man of Scotty's years falls in love, the loneliness of his life is suddenly revealed. His heart once throbbed to the sound of the ship's engines; now, all he can see is...a dog?!"

Captain's Log, Supplemental: "And the bridesmaids were total bitches."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Molested? Jeez. What's that residue on the tip of the horn?"
Scotty leans forward and sniffs: "Smells like sweet and sour chicken ..."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"He left scat on the transporter pad.

I'd pick it up meself...but...I kept hearin' stories growin' up about Arcturian doggie poo and got scared."

 

[Rat Boy]

Marta: "THERE IS NO MARTA, ONLY ZUUL!"

Kirk: "What a lovely singing voice you have."

 

[cooleddie74]

GARTH:"Indulge, my dear Captain Kirk...

You might as WELL enjoy yourself, my good fellow. Soon you won't have the equipment to do it with."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What is that sound?!"

Garth: "Oh, that's just the noise she makes when her legs rub together. Loudest humming sound in the galaxy. It's no wonder that everybody on this planet is insane."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"What was that?"

GARTH:"YES. I distinctly heard a sound of some sort!"

(*Long pause*)

KIRK:"A seam in my pants."

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Scotty: "Dr. McCoy has explained to me that the transplanted finger needs to "take hold" first before he can remove the rest of this thing."

***If you're not a fan of bad 1970's Sci-fi films, then maybe you won't get this, but that's OK***
.

 

[M'Sharak]

^ Rosey Grier!

"Yes, that's right, Mister Sulu; I know how they work: it's only
a matter of time before one of these degenerates comes along
and Photoshops Helen Noel into this picture in place of the dog."
"Fiendish, sir."

 

[Rat Boy]

Garth started to question his anointing himself "Master of the Universe" when he inadvertently glanced down at Kirk's "tent pole."

 

[Gertch]

Scotty (from other side of the table): "It's green."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Lord Snoop in da house

 

[Rat Boy]

Lord Snoop in da house

Master of the Motherfucking Uni-shizzel, bitch.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: You know, Mr. Sulu, on this crazy, backwards, everything-is-reversed planet, I feel like a young Kevin Spacey.

 

[Outpost4]

Once every seven years, Spock ate a hamburger.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Garth: "Ever seen the movie Teeth, Captain?"
Kirk: "Why no..."
Marta: "Good..."

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: You did order the Pistachio Allure for desert, Captain.


I'm changing out the contest tomorrow, not this morning. I have work to do today...and I've been wasting my time working on sombreros.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty (from other side of the table): "It's green."

WINNER!

Snoop: "<mumble-mumble> gangsta <mumble-mumble> shee-it <mumble-mumble> mutha-fucka <mumble-mumble> -izzle."

Kirk: "After this one, I'll need a white girl, to clear the palate, you know, before you bring out the Puerto Ricans."

 

[Outpost4]

Garth: No, Captain, you can't keep an ear as a trophy.

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Well Spock, you in the mood for a lettuce on white sandwich?
Spock: That metaphor does not scan, Captain. An "Orion Cookie" would be a more mellifluous term.