Movie Caption Contest #40 Hello, Goodbye

[Rat Boy]

Time to close the books on this past caper. We've rounded up the usual suspects and we're ready to dispense justice. Here's the rap sheet:

GRIGNAK: The alien so hideous, he had to get himself drunk just to masturbate.

Four out of five backwards-speaking aliens recommend Slurm.

"You realise, yes, that if I step backwards suddenly and you both fire, you're gonna hit each other? Just a tip."

"What nuclear wessel?"

Barney The Testicles: "Hey, boss, this guy is hung like a horse."

* ladies look *

Picard:"I just was to see if it's true what they say about you name..."

CLANG!!!

Picard: "It's twue, it's twue it's twue!

ALFRED: Welcome home Master Bruce.

``All right, all right, Data, I'll stop and ask him. Excuse me out there -- could you please tell my passenger here that we are so on I-195 and that the first Jackson exit is only a mile or two down the road, please?''

And the Photoshop Award:

I'm his phone, and right now the russian inwention over there has been called over 30 times by his crewmates attempting a transporter lock so he can get his white russian butt out of there, but no, russia's answer to davy jones doesn't have AT&T so he has no bars in the bowels of the USS Enterprise, so now he's trapped by a bunch of marines who haven't shot anything live in a very, very, long time. Good luck comrade, you'll need it.

The verdict is in and you're all guilty. Your sentence: having try to repeat again this week. Ever tried watching the first episode of a TV show and skipping all the way to the last one? People get older, fatter, more plastic surgeried; all that good stuff. The same can be said for our favorite movies series. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sonak: "I am not Spock."

Kirk: "Just because you keep saying that doesn't make it true."

Sonak: *sigh*

Kirk: "Anybody get the feeling that we're missing something?"

Picard: "Any of you not in the new Class-A dress uniform better get the hell off my bridge!"

Riker: "Oh, by the way; I was the one who upperdecked your ready room toilet."

 

[Gertch]

The question of what year the Battlestar, Galatica, reaches Earth was settled when Cassiopeia walked by.

No they're not gay, just amused.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Crap it's Carol! Damn child support check must have bounced again. I gotta get off planet fast!

 

[Kirby]

Sonak: Psst Admiral... Dude in a manskirt and crocs on your 3 o'clock.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Scotty, would you mind having that chair cleaned? It still smells like burnt extra."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Of all the souls I have encountered, his was the most... gayest."

McCoy: "Sulu's not dead Jim, he's on the Excelsior."

Kirk: "Shut up Bones, this is my big speech moment."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Sonak: "Bifurcated? Yes, Admiral, of course."

Kirk: "Good, you're hired. Report to me in my quarters in exactly 35 minutes."

Madame Tussauds had to nix the idea of including Sulu in their Star Trek display when the likenesses of Kirk, Scotty and Uhura overran their wax budget.

Worf: "Captain, permission to bitch-slap the costume designer?"

Picard: "Granted!"

Picard: "And remember, Captain Riker, the best way to improve crew morale is making 'Topless Tuesdays' mandatory."

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "And thanks for the assless chaps."

Picard: "There's no greater moment for a commanding officer to send his Number One off to his new ship with his cheeks flying in the breeze."

 

[cooleddie74]

SONAK:"Pardon me, sir...is this the Luna Seven Choo-Choo?"

KIRK:"Pad 29. Stop trying to give my knob a shine."

KIRK:"Why do I have the sudden urge to do a 10 o'clock newscast?!"

PICARD:"Everyone going to the Paul Revere and the Raiders costume party...come now. Before the next duy shift arrives."

RIKER:"Oh...by the way...

that holodeck program I kept running during the Pegasus incident nine years ago? I always wanted to apologize to you for that. I know it took weeks to get the odor and shame out of the bulkheads."

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Patrick Stewart: "Why is it the producers feel they have to change our costumes every time we film a new Star Trek movie?"

 

[Gertch]

Kirk watched as the Turbolift Help Automaton and the Shuttle Help Automaton got goosed and wondered why he was left with the Platform Help Automaton.

 

[Candlelight]

"Problem, Commander Sonak?"
"I forgot to pack my lucky red shirt but I'm sure everything will be fine"

The proud image would later be ruined after it was revealed Uhura was goosing Scotty and Chekov was just playing with himself.

Troi suddenly realised she had shat herself.

"This is a long handshake captain"
"Yes, it is"
"Superglue accident again?"
"Fraid so"
"Dr Crusher to the ready room"

 

[John Picard]

Troi suddenly realised she had shat herself.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Helm officer suddenly felt under dressed.

 

[Rat Boy]

Troi: "Somebody call sickbay. I just sat on my sword."

 

[Candlelight]

The Lieutenant at the helm was impressed by the way Riker handled his huge weapon.

 

[Gertch]

Everyone was so preoccupied they failed to notice Gozer took the helm.

 

[Rat Boy]

Everyone was so preoccupied they failed to notice Gozer took the helm.

Picard: "Will, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES!'"

 

[ancient]

RIKER: Oh yeah...finally, they got rid of Wesley and got us a hot goth chick to drive. I'll just edge closer and put my leg up on the consol...just a little closer...

CRASH!!!!!

RIKER: Whoopsy...They can always build another ship, am I right?

RIKER: Oh yeah, I forgot to purge several of my holodeck programs. Could you delete riker.huge-tit-explosion.exe for me?

PICARD: The one with that T'Pol character? Oh yeah, good times. Remember when you had to pretend it was a history program to fool Troi?

RIKER: Oh yeah, that f***ed up the program something fierce.