TOS Caption Contest #86 - Girl Power

[scottydog]

Spock (thinking): "Why can't they ever cut my bangs straight."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

The legend of Spock's bifurication had that effect on women.

Spock wondered if there was really anything in the brownies.

The Swedish penis pump required a lot of adaptation for Mr Spock's use.

 

[Outpost4]

You did NOT want to beat Yeoman Tamura in a game of musical chairs.

 

[Gertch]

Quartermaster: "One credit card receipt, made out to Austin Powers...."

Good to see I'm not the only one visualizing that. My idea was slightly different...

Sulu: "But I swear, it is mine. It is my bag baby."

 

[Gertch]

Mea 3: "Let's just get this over with."

Sucking at charades was evident when Mea Cuppa just wasn't clicking.

 

[Rat Boy]

The Real Slim Scotty: "Aye, we just need to get this baby down to the club along with the Bob Marley albums and we're all set for Carl's party."

 

[Gertch]

The engineering crew puts the final touches on Spock's double pump.

 

[Gecko of Gorn]

By combining his Duotronic Reflux Still with Carl Spock's bubbler, Scotty took cannonballing to the next level.

 

[NathanielM]

Tamura: "Bring it you bitch, I'll spank your blond little ass."

Scotty: Man what a pretty barin!
Bones: Oh man I got a woody.
Spock: Illogical, Did I leave the computer on?

Scotty: Captain, your intersteller penile pump and suction device is ready.
Kirk: On my way Mr. Scott, and I'm bringing a green friend!
*Cue Kirk green bitch fuck music*

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Scotty: "Well thats it, the scans say this Penis Pump belongs to the captain, his DNA is all through it"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Scotty: "Aye laddie, Starfleet regulations state that every piece of equipment we have doubles as a bong."

 

[Outpost4]

Tamura: "This time I'll play Tom Cruise and you'll be Katie.

At this moment, Spock realized the Federation needed to ban Romulan ale.

With medical costs still rising, Kirk relied on Scotty's home made dialysis machine.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scotty: "What does it say on the label, Yeoman?"
Rand: "Quantum oscillator."
Scotty: "What doesn't it say?"
Rand: "Mr Scott, I didn't mean..."
Scotty: "What doesn't it say yeoman?"
Rand: "For the use of horny yeomen..."
Scotty: "Exactly. I don't care how, I want it cleaned, disinfected, sterilised, and reinstalled in Mr Sulu's quarters."

 

[Shatmandu]

I am also giving a TOS Hall of Rouges Award, the first to be awarded in this contest, to Shatmandu for this caption. And what's even better/worse, he may have sunk even lower in a later caption. God bless you, Joe. You're a good man, even if you hide it pretty well.

Wow, I'm honored. I don't know what to say. I feel like I've been given tenure.

I shall strive to move the bar even lower.

Mea 3: "The stotic one ... his, uh ..."
Tamura: "Yeah, I usually make him turn off the lights. He thinks I have body issues, but I just can't stand to see both of them wagging at me."

McCoy: "Boy, I'd like to remind your mother what a human can do in the sack ..."

Once again, Spock felt left out. Alone. Different.

Mea 3: "That thing the Captain keeps saying: 'Me love you long time.' What is that?"

 

[Outpost4]

You're welcome. I should give you a plastic card to carry around uselessly in your wallet.

I have to admit, for about the fifth time, I've renamed the caption contest Hall of Fame. I created it on the spur of the moment and I didn't have a good name. At first I called it a Lifetime Achievement Award. But that was wrong on two counts: it didn't take a lifetime and it's a dubious achievement at the the best. The Hall of Rouges was last night's name. This morning it's called the Mudd Club. I like that although who knows what it will be named tomorrow?

I'm open for suggestions.

 

[Shatmandu]

You're welcome. I should give you a plastic card to carry around uselessly in your wallet.

I have to admit, for about the fifth time, I've renamed the caption contest Hall of Fame. I created it on the spur of the moment and I didn't have a good name. At first I called it a Lifetime Achievement Award. But that was wrong on two counts: it didn't take a lifetime and it's a dubious achievement at the the best. The Hall of Rouges was last night's name. This morning it's called the Mudd Club. I like that although who knows what it will be named tomorrow?

I'm open for suggestions.

I like Mudd Club. With so many conotations, it sounds dirty.

Maybe The Harcourt Fenton Mudd Society.

Joe, member

 

[Shatmandu]

Mea 3, dismissively: "Oh, and I suppose you know karate ..."
<Tamura sets Disruptor to lowest setting, aims, shoots her in face.>
Tamura: "Nope."

 

[Outpost4]

I like Mudd Club. With so many conotations, it sounds dirty.

Maybe The Harcourt Fenton Mudd Society.

Joe, member

Why did I know you'd bring your member into this so quickly?

The Mudd Club, it is.

Initiation into the Mudd Club involved several 2x4s, duct tape and a puppy dog.

 

[Shatmandu]

Mea 3: "Why is it called 'The Mudd Club'?"
Tamura: "The anal sex, and the resulting filthy penis."
Mea 3: "I ... see."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Stay horny and wait right here."

Spock: "Quick, I need that bifurcated penis pump fixed before they lose interest!"