Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #242½: The One With The Synthetic Parasites
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Neelix: I'm searching for breathable atmosphere...maybe if I walk in FRONT of you?
Tuvok: "Highly illogical; I just turned around.
Paris: "Harry, you're the only person I know who has concussion resting face."
Torres: "What? All I said is that Captain Janeway has continuous resting bitch face. She's right behind me, isn't she?"
That unspoken moment when neither of you really know for sure who farted.
The Voyager crew really need to lay off the beans.
That unspoken moment when you realize Neelix has stumbled upon the remains of the warp ten salamander babies that the Captain told you to hide, and you're sure all it will take is one look to assure silence...
Tom: "So that's when I decided to just try and make the best of it. But then I noticed how firm and supple her warp ten salamander boobies were..."
Tuvok: Where'd th' cheese go?
Neelix: I don't know.
Paris: "Paris to away team: I have located the cheese."
Torres: "I mean -- I don't understand why anybody doesn't know where the cheese is. The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, hi ho the dairy-o, the cheese stands alone. I think the real question is: where did the dish and spoon abscond to."
The cheese is in sickbay, the coffee is in the nebula, the pot roast has been incinerated, the gagh has crawled off my plate, and if you're looking for the leola root, just follow the fog of Vulcan flatulence.
Janeway: "What smells like leola root?"
They sniff the air.
7 of 9: "According to ship's records, Neelix was in Lt. Torres' quarters all night long."
Long awkward silence.
Janeway: "Let us never speak of this again."
Torres: "What? His wild unkept whiskers tickle my intake manifold."
PARIS: Ok, so the shoe shine business was a bust. But we do get to keep these nifty cases.
Tom: "Don't give me that look, Harry. Okay, so maybe a door-to-door salesman holoprogram isn't the greatest idea I ever had. But hey, at least if the whole lieutenant thing doesn't pan out, it's nice to know you've still got options."
Needless to say, Neelix's improvised puppet show with his new friend "Mr. Blinky Lights" did not impress Tuvok.
TOM: So...if we get fused in the transporter, do you want to go by Ham or Tarry?
HARRY: "Lieutenant."
TOM: How was I to know both sisters were into just me?
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