I rewatched it and I took notes and highlight serious and critical issues which the writers need to address in their dismal writings.
1) We open with a storm on the horizon, because there is no better way to telegraph to your fans that you're creatively bankrupt than to give us an old, tired trope within the first few seconds of an episode. Doesn't the sun ever rise in France?
2) Oh look, the ship still isn't cloaked. And herein presents a wonderful example of why this show, far more than most, asks the audience to logic leap on behalf of the writing staff who consistently leave open gaps in the story that they themselves should have plugged. I guess the assumption we are supposed to make is that the cloak is offline? Of course, no one so much as even says this, so we as audience are left to logic leap in this moment despite the fact that the show should be doing this work, not us. Unfortunately the sloppiness means we also ask several additional questions that pulls us even further out of the story.
3) Wouldn't someone at least stumble upon the ship like the French police officer did? Speaking of which, where is the French police officer? Last time we saw him he was being moved off camera after having his spleen removed and his memory wiped. Are we supposed to assume he's not still recovering nearby? Logic leap and guess everybody!
4) Why hasn't the police followed up to retrieve him? Are we supposed to assume he's back at home? Are people asking him about the contusions on his neck? What about his police vehicle? Wouldn't the department have come out to retrieve it? Nope, we have to either forget that happened or logic leap on behalf of the show.
5) Are we really supposed to believe that France didn't notice this ship crashing on their soil? This is a show that expects us to believe that an apparent FBI agent somehow has ample footage of our crew beaming here and there, but the entire resources of France & the NATO alliance somehow missed a large ship hurtling towards the French countryside? Do they not have satellite imagery anymore in 2024? If Wells is on top of things then surely whole scores of French authorities would have descended on Chateau Picard within hours of impact to investigate this mysterious wreckage. Just follow the path of downed trees everyone.
6) Anyway, Rios notices the transporters are offline, and before he can ask himself how he, 2024 Doctor, and I'm-gonna-touch-everything Cake Kid got here, a transport starts to occur. So I guess they are not offline? And remote transports like the one he just made himself recently can still take place? Okay so wait, If that is true, then why isn't he assuming that Raffi, Seven, or Picard aren't also transporting to the ship in this moment? Would they not have told him they will be coming back to the ship too? Maybe Not Laris has some transporter tech to resolve this conundrum? Oh that's right, because the transport beam he sees is now green and I guess that means bad guys. You know what? Whatever.
7) So let's logic leap and assume Rios' character would have insight into the Borg plans to come here. Fine. What does he do to prepare? Keep in mind that we already have evidence to show just how incompetent the writers write these characters to be. The fact is, in the time since potentially learning of the plan for Ag-borg to retake the ship, Rios - a Starfleet Officer, in fact a Captain - has done nothing to at least show some preparedness for this very contingency. The second he learned Ag-borg was loose in the first place he should have been preparing. But nope, he needed to first make the most ridiculous decision of bringing 2024 Doctor and Cake Kid to this ship, spending more time sucking face than setting traps for a potential Borg invasion. Did he even bother to arm himself when he knew they'd be coming?
8) Anyway, so green transporter starts to appear outside and Rios has the instinct to run outside.
9) Oh NOW he goes to arm himself. Too late, smart guy!
10) Borg Drones transport right in front of him and immediately don't shoot him for no reason whatsoever.
11) But wait, this raises yet another issue. Am I seriously expected to believe that these best of the best mercenaries just let Ag-borg assimilate them? Uh what? I mean, okay, let's assume the first dude was just totally into the blonde in the red dress with the greyish vericose veined face getting up close and personal, and somehow allowed for his face to be touched by her. Are you really suggesting that the other merc soldiers who just witness his face glow, his eyes turn black, and his will to think for himself vanishing would just be like, "Cool! Me too please!" Right.
12) Ag-borg arrives and Borg Drones instantly remember they are in fact armed. Too late, smart guys! They ran off already. And of course their scopes glow green now. Man, this campy vibe is reminding me of 1997 Batman & Robin. And that is not a compliment. Oh my goodness, I literally just remembered that Akiva Goldsman wrote that disastrous movie too! Oh wow, this aligns so many things now...
13) Ag-borg goes after Rios and Family and oh wait, sorry, terrible editing. She apparently is going to Sick Bay for the corpse of the Borg Queen. I guess she lost her red dress and combat boots between camera shots? Does this mean Rios and Family got away? Ag-borg gets tech off of the Borg Queen body, and I instantly wonder if Cake Kid got to fiddle with this too, or was he too busy playing with Elnor's pointy ears to get around to it?
14) Cut to Picard, Seven, Raffi, and Not Laris appearing at the Chateau. Wait, why didn't they just transport on the ship? Surely they wouldn't have known Ag-borg would be there by now? What fundamental reason would they have for transporting where they did?
15) Instead of beaming directly to to ships armory the crew whines about not having to combat their enemies. Again, they don't know that Ag-borg has even arrived.
16) "We have to start setting traps!" Yeah, because the incompetent Rios didn't.
17) Rios and Family join the crew just in time for their arrival. Contrivances amirite!?
18) Picard asks, "Is she coming!?" This confirms they didn't know she was on the ship yet, and thus, the decision to transport to this spot makes zero sense. Maybe the crew can throw wine bottles at the Borg. Seven likes to throw bottles.
19) Picard proclaims that Ag-borg means to take the ship. This of course highlights one of the biggest issues there is with this terribly written season. Why didn't Ag-borg just remain on the ship? Even if you somehow manage to purge 30+ years of Borg lore from your brain and buy into the ridiculous notion that Borg need endorphins and metal materials to assimilate, why wouldn't Ag-borg just get everything she needed from the ship? Clearly the replicators were working. Cake Kid got cake afterall. Just produce all the materials you need from them. Ag-borg literally could have become full strength without so much as anyone in the crew noticing. Could have assimilated the French police officer. Make him stand guard while she then repaired the rest of the ship. Could have then cloaked and flown into orbit. Could have then transported up a dozen or so humans at a time. Could have then assimilated each of them easily. Could have then taken over half La Barre before anyone in this incompetent crew so much as got a whiff of her plan. Could have left Not Laris and the crew fixated on Renee Picard while she dominated humanity elsewhere.
20) Jurati says she didn't do anything about stopping Raffi's throat from being crushed? So Jurati isn't able to interfere? So how exactly is she going to stop the Borg Queen from taking over the ship, as she states she will here? Hasn't she already been taking over the ship?
21) Oh boy, Jurati preaches to the Borg Queen that they only assimilate species because, wait for it... they are lonely. Lonely!
22) The Borg are lonely folks.
23) Lonely is almost as ridiculous as the whole endorphins nonsense.
24) How did this idea ever make it into an actual television show in the year 2022? Serious question. The 30+ years of lore wasn't enough for these people running this show, they had to insert "endorphins" and "loneliness" as the driving factors for why Borg are the way they are. They don't want conquest. They want friends in the cosmos. Is this not the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard in your life? All those evil historic figures you ever studied about in school that were hellbent on world domination were only looking for new friends everyone!
25) Jurati uses a "fractal lock" on the ship's systems. This makes absolutely no sense. MacGuffins on this show aren't usually this nonsensical.
26) Emergency Combat Hologram? What is happening? This seriously might be the worst thing I've seen in this ridiculous show. Absolutely nothing makes a lick of sense here. If holograms without safety protocols were allowed then why wouldn't Rios think of this sooner? Have a bunch of them ready to fight the Borg. You know what? This show deserves to be cancelled now. Forget season three as the final season. This is an unmitigated disaster.
27) This is your friendly reminder that Picard is 94 years old, a synthetic android, and who has lived at least two full lifetimes, one of which with a huge family complete with children and grandchildren, who has been a hero, who has been assimilated, who has conquered, who has loved, who has snuffed out thousands of Starfleet Officers and civilians as Locutus. Picard has so many topics with which he could or should have unresolved issues. So naturally, he does have unresolved issues. But not with any of that stuff, no. Don't be foolish! He has unresolved issues from when he was a child. No, not from his toxic relationship with his older brother Robert you silly goose. Nope! Unresolved issues from his parents. If only all those countless sessions with ship counselor Troi could have uncovered this pain he could have dealt with it before now. Maybe they could have probed into this topic at the time Jean-Luc learned of his brother's & nephew's tragic ends in that horrible fire. Oh well. But enough about that, let's play hide and seek. Maybe we'll finally figure out where Robert has been hiding all this time.
28) Picard insists that Not Laris transports Rios and Family to safety. Exactly how did Rios and Family make it passed the dozen Borg drones that transported outside anyway? Why doesn't Not Laris simply beam the Borg drones into space or the moon and thus immediately stop this threat?
29) Only now, in episode 9 does Picard fully contemplate the ramifications of him deciding to leave the Borg Queen unattended alongside the incompetent Jurati when he did.
30) Minutes have gone by, and it's inconceivable that a dozen Borg drones haven't managed to completely incapacitate the three remaining crewmembers and Not Laris. Maybe Ag-borg should have shown then where the 25th century weapons were stored.
31) Why is Soong here? This makes absolutely no sense. Wait, why does Picard know Soong was "promised" a "legacy"? Oh you terrible writers you.
32) Is Soong referring to Ag-borg as his news "friends back there"? As in... plural?
33) Soong is ridiculous, talking about Picard being the rogue element as if his character hasn't constantly been confronted with countless rogue elements before this moment.
34) Borg drone gets the jump on Seven and Raffi instead of just shooting the women through the window. I guess this fight proves Seven's ribs & spine are just fine from crashing into the dumpster? Anyway, I'm confused as to why this Borg drone can't beat up these two women. I thought these mercs were the best of the best no? I guess our two crewmembers are lucky that only one of the dozen Borg drones are here in this moment.
35) Why did the Borg drones turn their scopes back on exactly?
36) Neither Picard nor Not Laris immediately pick up dead Borg drone's weapon.
37) Not Laris seems to want to distract Picard with talk about his childhood trauma instead of escaping with their lives. Not only is this ridiculous but also grossly negligent of her. Why are they down here at all instead of simply transporting to where they want to go? Oh that's right, because this is a terribly written show that desperately wants us to be invested in this ridiculous childhood trauma storyline, and also desperately needs a contrivance to keep Rios, 2024 Doctor, and Cake Kid together but away from the action.
38) Seven speaks loudly enough that the Borg drones should hear her, since they are about 10 feet away.
39) Instead of shutting up and sneaking out, Raffi chooses this moment to talk about Seven's career choices.
41) Raffi tells Seven that she sounds like a captain even though Seven doesn't say anything especially captain-like in this moment.
42) Seven tells us that Janeway threatened to resign from Starfleet if they wouldn't accept Seven into the service. So in response Starfleet says no and makes Janeway an admiral...? Didn't Icheb get into Starfleet as depicted by this very show?
43) I gave it up, went full Ranger. Guess things didn't work out with Chakotay then.
44) Wait. Why didn't Seven and Raffi just follow Picard if he knew of a path to the other side of the vineyard that didn't include fighting dozens of Borg drones...?
45) Seven and Raffi make a dash for it and incompetent Borg drones don't immediately shoot them down. Are they best of the best or not? Mercy I've seen better aim from storm troopers.
46) Ag-borg is looking for a hologram. This is ridiculous. Wouldn't their bullets just fly through him? Why isn't the Holo-Elnor just disappearing and reappearing on command? Why is he choosing weapons instead of just recreating them in his hands? This Holo-Elnor could literally drop grenades in every room almost instantly and end this threat.
47) 2024 Doctor orders Rios around as if she knows more about what is going on than he does despite being someone who cannot possible understand more than Rios does in this current situation.
48) Cake Kid is asleep. You know what? Maybe Cake Kid is dying because Ag-borg was smart enough to tamper with the food replicators. Nah, that would be a smart thing to do.
49) Rios incorrectly tells 2024 doctor that a tricorder will help with his bullet extraction. Nevermind that 2024 Doctor shouldn't have clue one on how to use a tricorder, just shut up and logic leap on behalf of this terrible show.
50) Absolutely no signs of Picard's so-called claustrophobia presents itself as he navigates these underground passageways. Not as an adult. Not as a child.
51) Why would Papa Picard lock Mama Picard in a room instead of getting her the treatments that were readily available during this time? It's because the showrunner, writers and producers don't know that most mental health afflictions have been cured by this time in the future isn't it?
52) Picard and Not Laris, who have been doing little more than distracting themselves with useless chatter, seem shocked that Borg drones have caught up to them.
53) Oh look more centuries old guns and ammunition that still works perfectly.
54) Soong and two of the best of the best merc Borg drones turn to see Picard shooting. The synthetic android hits one of them, but instead of immediately returning fire the second Borg drone is conspicuously not in the next shot. Did he duck for cover? Why would any Borg drone duck for cover? Picard literally runs out of ammo and is still not immediately shot by the remaining Borg drone.
55) Seriously why is Soong even here? He's not armed, he's being shot at, and yet he is front and centre? lol
56) Holo-Elnor is immediately confronted by Ag-borg and 4 best of the best merc Borg drones and isn't gunned down immediately. This is not merely a terribly written show, but also a boring action show. They literally shoot everything except Holo-Elnor because they are as incompetent as everyone else in Star Trek: Picard.
57) With absolutely zero explanation Raffi & Seven suddenly appear in the same room that Holo-Elnor is hiding. I guess I imagined all those best of the best merc Borg drones that Raffi and Seven were running towards. They just ran passed any Borg drones on the ship, too? Wow is this ridiculous.
58) Raffi immediately runs to Holo-Elnor as if real Elnor isn't still dead.
58) Holo-Elnor acts like he recognizes Raffi without any logic to inform us that a hologram would recognize Raffi in the first place. In fact, it is far more likely that he'd assume Raffi & Seven were also assimilated and/or threats trying to control the ship.
59) What is happening right now? Why is Raffi choosing this moment to talk to Holo-Elnor about her feelings? She even acknowledges that this isn't him. This is entirely self-serving and delusional.
60) Am I nuts? Did the best of the best merc Borg drones and Ag-borg not just watch Holo-Elnor run into this room? Is there any reason why they aren't breaking into this room right now? Maybe use the backdoor that Raffi & Seven just did to get here? Is there any reason why Ag-borg STILL hasn't armed them with 25th century weapons?
61) Holo-Elnor states that he possesses the shared recollection of Elnor's last breath. Uhhh what? This is, of course, utter nonsense. This Holo-Elnor is merely a construct of Jurati, who has absolutely no special insights into the thought process of Elnor as an individual in his final moments. This is total gobbledygook writing.
62) Raffi tells Holo-Elnor that she is afraid of being alone. You know what, Raffi? Get a dog like a regular person.
63) So Seven, Raffi, and Holo-Elnor apparently makes it to the transporters without issue because, I dunno, Ag-borg and the best of the best merc Borg drones are absolutely incompetent to stop them. They don't even bother to show them trying to access the room that Holo-Elnor ran into. Instead they just randomly patrol a hallway he shouldn't be in? The incompetence knows no bounds with this show.
64) Seven beams Borg drones into the very walls that Picard and Not Laris are walking by. How convenient. If only Not Laris used her own transporter to do this very thing we could have been spared all the nonsense in this horrible episode.
65) Ag-borg equips herself with a sword and not a firearm because no reason whatsoever.
66) Apparently Ag-borg has been hiding tentacles somewhere...? Makes no sense, whatever. Seven gets impaled and I couldn't care less. I mean, I love the character of Seven, but this show is so bad that I almost want her to die just so that she could be spared from appearing in this nonsense show ever again.
67) Because NuTrek cannot possibly go a few minutes without talking about feelings, we get Ag-borg unable to stab Seven because the Jurati side of her "neural soup" is feeling too many feelings.
68) Holo-Elnor suddenly has disappeared for no reason whatsoever.
69) Jurati gives the "sheer f*cking hubris" speech to the Borg Queen.
70) Alison Pill is doing her eyeball acting again. She suffered from this physical affectation all throughout season one, and I was so pleased to see it vanish in season two. Alas, it's back. It's a telltale sign that this actor is faking it so hard. And who can blame her? This script is terrible, even this talented actor cannot get through this wretched dialogue. Seriously watch her eyeballs. She forces them to flutter when she is faking vulnerable emotions.
71) Soong and the Borg Queen are absolute cartoons in these moments. They just need the mustaches to twirl.
72) Jurati is trying to suggest that Seven is the very best that a Borg could be without a sense of irony that Seven was just like every other Borg, hence her designation actually being Seven of Nine. Just another number.
73) I guess Picard is not the best that a Borg could be. Or Hugh. Nope, see this bitter woman here? The one with a lot of grievances and who admits to murdering indiscriminately? Let's emulate that! "Let's build a universe of Sevens..." Barf.
74) Why does this alternate timeline Borg Queen even know who this Seven is? Does she possibly think that Jurati might be referring to the Confederation president? The one who conquers the galaxy? lol
75) Wait, why isn't Not Laris switching her transporter back on again? You know, so that she doesn't get murdered by these best of the best merc Borg drones?
76) Rios now blows off 2024 Doctor. Guess she shouldn't have brought up marriage until at least day 3.
77) Apparently Rios is suddenly, "trying to protect it". It being the future. Which is completely counter to most everything he's done in this season.
78) Cut back to Picard and for some reason he hasn't been shot yet.
79) Oh look, another boring fight scene. Rios vs incompetent best of the best merc Borg drone. And sure, okay. Rios bets him up. Right.
80) Oh wow, so Ag-borg is assimilating Seven now eh? This is a fate infinitely worse for her than any physical death. Seriously, this is as egregious a choice for this show to make as turning Picard into an android.
81) Now that Rios is here, again why isn't Not Laris transporting these bad guys into a wall exactly...?
82) Rios slightly slashes as the Borg drone and I think we are supposed to assume he's.... dead now?
83) Rios warns Soong the phaser is about to blow why?
84) Since when is DNA needed to unlock a phaser? This is, of course, utter nonsense.
85) Soong tosses the phaser in the air and I swear the slashed Borg drone isn't even in the shot anywhere anymore. That slash made him vanish!
86) The "cost" in saving Seven is that her same Borg implants are back? Wait, what? Surely they are going to explain at least this right? They can't possibly expect us to logic leap this much nonsense, can they?
87) Picard envisions the strangest memory, that of his mother committing suicide. This is too important a subject for me to make a snarky comment on, so I will simply say that I didn't appreciate the manner with which this important subject was handled at all in this show. I sincerely wish Picard's older mother's photo didn't appear in his family photo album in Star Trek: Generations.
88) Wow maybe I missed it, but yeah... what happened to the contrivance that is Holo-Elnor again?
89) Hey look, the sun does rise in France.
90) Hey look, the ship still isn't cloaked.
91) Seven informs Picard of Ag-borg's cryptic message. One Renee must live while another must die and Picard doesn't so much bat an eyelash for his dead nephew...
92) Holo-Elnor & Ag-borg fly off and I honestly envision this duo in a sitcom moving forward. Call it "Songs & Swords" lol.
That's it. This show remains an utter mess. I'm heartbroken.
If you made it this far then thank you! again, if anyone likes this show that's great. I'm not here to tell you otherwise. I am here however to remind you that better Trek is possible.
