1) I am very sorry to hear about your mother. I wish you continued healing.
2) Of course you don't need me to tell you this. But even in your description of your own situation, you didn't stop grieving just because you didn't share your grief with your co-workers. You didn't share your grief with your coworkers because you wanted that boundary there. That's 100% legit.
I lost my grandmother in November 2019. About two weeks later, I went back to work. Like you, I chose not to share my grief with my co-workers. If I had a moment where I needed to step away so they didn't see me become overwhelmed, I excused myself from the office for a moment. I wanted that boundary there, too.
But a television program's narrator is by definition supposed to have more access to a character's internal emotions than a coworker at a job in real life. And it is unrealistic for a TV show to depict the internal emotional world of a character who has lost someone with the same kind of distance you and I chose to establish in real life from our respective coworkers. The relationship between the television program and a primary character must be closer than the relationship between two co-workers in real life.
It's not that it's unrealistic for Kirk not to share his feelings with his co-workers and subordinates during work hours. It's that it's unrealistic for TOS as a narrative to depict Kirk as not grieving for them at all after one episode.
