When people lose someone they love, they don't just stop grieving within two weeks because it's not relevant to their jobs during work hours.
I'm going to stop you right now. You might not know this, but my mother died when I was 18. I do
not need to be told about this.
I watched as it took her three days to die from cancer in the hospital. I cried during Day 2. In front of a lot of people and it came very suddenly. But after three days, I more or less expected her to die when it finally happened. It a was a Monday morning. October 20th, 1997 to be exact. About six in the morning. I heard the news, I was sad. But I didn't cry at that point. It had already happened.
I took the week off. I was visibly upset/sad, during the first day. At the wake, things were as fine with everyone I knew as could be, under the circumstances.
After the burial, we all got together at a mutual friend's house. By the middle of it, a member of the god-family (who's into Renaissance Festivals) and is a Trekkie was telling me about how DS9 is a "second-rate show" and that
Babylon 5 was so much better. So, within a week, basically, we were back at talking about the usual stuff.
A story about losing a loved one is inherently a promissory note to the audience that a story about processing grief is going to follow; when it does not follow, the original story is undermined.
So after the week off, on the first day, I heard a lot of "sorry about your mom." I appreciated it, but I didn't want to talk about it to them.
I got a new, part-time job (seasonal) at a toy store, less than two weeks later. I'd applied for it before my mother died and she know I was going for it. One of the toys sang a song, one of those things where you pull a string, it made me think about my mother for a moment, then I shook it off. I didn't tell my co-workers anything about what was going on in my life. Other than I was also a student. It was none of their business. They'd never know that I just lost a parent.
EDIT: Not that it's anyone's business here, but the time it hit me the hardest again was 18 years later. The day before October 20th. Upon the realization that my mother had been dead for half my life. It hit me when I least expected it. Some years it bothers me, other years it doesn't. You never know when it's going to strike and this time it struck hard. But it works very differently than what dramas on TV would have you believe.
Two days, later, on October 21st, 2015, I invited friends over because it was "
Back to the Future Day" and we watched
Back to the Future, Part II at my place as they arrived in 2015. We got a kick out of it, and I even dressed the part. Neon, inside-out pants, the whole nine yards. We didn't talk about what happened two days earlier at all. Even though they all knew about it because I made a huge post about it on Facebook (back at a time when I was posting
everything on there).
Probably a good thing I came back to TrekBBS. They'd be sick of me talking about
Discovery and
Picard by now, otherwise.
