It came across as condescending , patronising and sexist. Sorry but there's no way around it. I've been close friends with
@Awesome Possum for years and wouldn't dream of calling her "darling" the way you did, especially in a heated discussion where it starts to sound like a deliberate provocation.
As for how a mod is treating you though, I'm pretty sure no one's even threatened you with action? She glossed over it with far more grace than she really had to and as has been pointed out isn't a mod in here in either case.
EDIT: just saw the warning, my bad