The problems with Social Media

[Lord Garth]

I'm going to specifically talk about Facebook but anyone can talk any other particular platform. I've been weaning myself off of Facebook for the past year. I have over 1,000 "friends", 90-95% of who really aren't. They're more like acquaintances, and some barely even that. And you never know who's going to respond to what. And if they disagree with you about something or have an outlook that's from outer space, they're exactly the ones who'll go on and on and on about it.

Worst of all, too many people I know have become dependent on it to the point that they treat it like their main source of communication, so I can't completely cut myself off from it or I'll be cutting myself off from them to a large extent.

I'll occasionally have people who'll try to harass me through IM. Anyone can spew their drama, for all to see. So it's hard to be able to talk to people like this when I know they're going to try to share it with hundreds or thousands of other people.

I'm not seeing this as much lately, but a few years ago, everyone I knew had the mentality of "Facebook or it never happened!" Usually jokingly but eventually it got to the point where it seemed to be not-so-jokingly. If something was going on, it ended up on Facebook. Period. So my family knows more about me in more contexts than I ever wanted them to know sometimes. And it's like you have a constant audience. And, if you disappear, people would be like "What happened to you?" Or, if I wanted to disconnect, people would be like "Why? What's wrong with you?"

It's also made it possible for me to stay in touch with people I would've fallen out of touch with a long time ago otherwise... but the downside is the "Big Brother Is Watching" Vibe. We won't even get into Net Neutrality. And, of course, all the young people are dropping Facebook from what I hear. But I'm almost 39. So I'm pretty sure if I got onto what they're onto, they'd move onto the next thing right away because I'm one of the "old" people.

I've begun to use mewe, but it's next-to-impossible to get anyone else to start jumping off Facebook.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I only have 61 friends of Facebook. As five of those have died in the last few years, and as one is a hobby horse, I really only have 55 friends on Facebook. About half of those are either inactive or not very active on Facebook.

Half a dozen of my friends are from Trekbbs.

I have one niece who is a bit of a drama queen and I have one friend who can a little toxic on certain subjects but apart from that most of my active friends are mild mannered and cause few problems.

Most of my active pages are Game of Thrones pages, fan pages of my favourite authors, science related pages, cat pages, craft pages or Tasmanian pages.

 

[Butters]

I’m not on Facebook or Twitter or anything like that. I have email and a phone.

I can see the appeal of such things, keeping in touch with people, but it’s probaly had the reverse affect.

I have a friend I meet for beer once a month. If we put everything Facebook, what would be talk about?

I suppose I could use Facebook to show the world how awesome my kids are and all the amazing things we do. But who cares. They’re not the only awesome kids in the world.

When I did toy with the idea of Facebook, I found pictures of a former GF all over my friends pages because of a lot of mutual friends. Don’t like that.

As for news, I read the guardian and the Telegraph, and hope the opppsite spins cancel each other out.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I’m on Facebook and I have 25 friends. I do find it useful in order to keep in touch with people that I don’t live close to. I use the conversation aspect more than anything. I only really post every 2-3 months, usually just nature pictures.

My biggest issue with Facebook is baby pictures. I’m okay to see someone’s baby or kid once a month. But every few days? I don’t care about your baby! I also hate when people constantly talk about their relationship.

 

[PlainSimpleJoel]

I have around 270 friends on facebook. Most can fit into a category, either family, convention friends, trekbbs or old high school friends. Most of my Australian based friends I have met. I generally won't add people I don't know and/or haven't met. Facebook can be controlled, as I can filter out out of the things such as American Politics. I also sometimes say nothing, if I don't feel like sharing anything about my life - if I don't want too.

 

[Asbo Zaprudder]

I'm waiting for someone to invent antisocial media - oh wait, they did?

 

[Refuge]

I miss the people who used to write me like normally, you know via that archaic system called Email? They became seduced by Facebook and that was that. I cannot be bothered. Seriously some of these guys I cared about, but now stuff them.

 

[Marynator]

I used to be on facebook, but I got off several years ago, I found it was just way too toxic and was making me upset. I especially didn't care for people sharing news articles, then reading horrible responses from people that were just so incredibly mean and hurtful, I can't believe people would actually say these things. I'm particularly sensitive to like racist, homophobic, sexist, and other types of attitudes, and I really couldn't help myself staying out of discussions about that, and I'd really regret it. People would just say such truly horrible things about you and anyone else.

I started on facebook because that's how my sister was sharing photographs of her family and I wanted to stay in touch, but I've convinced her to just email albums to me, her ways of sharing have changed. I can just email or use Skype messenger to talk to my family in other countries, and I'm not at all missing social media. I've found too in cases where I was afraid someone was stalking me to not have that footprint to be followed.

 

[cosmic mouse]

I've never had a Facebook or Twitter account and am on LinkedIn only for networking for my job. About 15 years ago I had a MySpace page for about 8 months. Other than that the only "conversing" online I do has been via BBS and forums; been doing that since around 1999 on a variety of topics( film, sports, music, and now Trek).

I'll occasionally have people who'll try to harass me through IM. Anyone can spew their drama, for all to see. So it's hard to be able to talk to people like this when I know they're going to try to share it with hundreds or thousands of other people.

Some of the reasons you cite (like the quote above), plus increasing security concerns (which really affect everything online above and beyond social media) are why I have continued to stay away from social media platforms. Heck, I'd like to find a date once in awhile but I have real reservations about using any of the online dating apps and sites because I fear some of my personal thoughts and information getting out there without my consent.

I don't have a "problem" with social media per se, but about 10 years ago I recall saying to a couple of friends of mine when we were conversing on the topic that I thought the manner in which people communicate with each other online (or in a virtual world) was hindering the quality of peoples' interactions in the "real world". And I stand by that theory today, wholeheartedly. I'm not a fan of the drama, the soapbox mentality and all the general haranguing. There are major drawbacks due to the buffer of being online. Would many of the people who attack or otherwise call out another (individual or an entire demographic) be doing that if they were face to face with those person(s)? Probably not in the vast majority of cases... and that's the problem. We are treating each other badly because many of us are getting used to having this buffer, and being able to conveniently walk away form the screen.

Having said that this particular forum is one of the best-run, best-moderated, and most "tolerant" of any that I have ever posted on. There used to be more that were quality, but almost all of them are gone or rapidly disappearing.

 

[Herbert]

This really isn't a social media problem, although I think social media is by and large a giant cesspool, it's really an internet problem. Social media has magnified it but between social media, youtube type sites, blogs, etc, any loony tune can spout off whatever nonsense they want. Everyone has a forum now. That doesn't mean everything is bad but you definitely get the bad with the good on the web.
For me, the problem is that there is no vetting or approval process of any kind going on. I, or anyone else, can make up whatever false garbage I want and make a video for it on youtube. I'm concerned about the level of misinformation or outright lies that are out there for anyone to see. It's so much easier to be informed and sadly, misinformed with the internet around.

 

[Random_Spock]

I’m on Facebook and I have 25 friends. I do find it useful in order to keep in touch with people that I don’t live close to. I use the conversation aspect more than anything. I only really post every 2-3 months, usually just nature pictures.

My biggest issue with Facebook is baby pictures. I’m okay to see someone’s baby or kid once a month. But every few days? I don’t care about your baby! I also hate when people constantly talk about their relationship.

That's pretty much me as well. I have 27 friends. Some that I know in real life and some online ones. Just to keep up and what not.

 

[mos6507]

I'm waiting for someone to invent antisocial media - oh wait, they did?

Go visit a Kelvin or DSC thread for that.

 

[Nyotarules]

It's so much easier to be informed and sadly, misinformed with the internet around.

So true, sadly social media reinforces the political bubble some folks insist on. It creates an Amen corner mentality. Or people were always like this but did not have the means to express it.
However Facebook is handy for keeping in touch with far flung friends, acquaintances and family, its free and easy, Real friends and close family get the Wassup treatment.

 

[Riker'sMailbox]

Timely thread. I just deactivated FB two weeknds ago.

I had around 400 fb friends, most of whom are people that are acutally in my life and true friends/ family. But, my newsfeed became so political and I saw some people that I have great love for post truly deplorable things. But, I stayed on because I was in several long time groups and it is such a convenient way to stay in touch with college friends and family that live far. Eventually, and after seeing a 35 year old friendship end because of a miscommunication over politics, I decided to deactivate. Now, I am only on instagram. I get to see everyone's cute kids, nice trips, adventures, new purchases, etc., without the nonsense. I was a daily fber for 7/8 years and truly do not miss it at all.

I kind of feel that, as a society, we are not really ready for social media.

I didn't delete yet because there are so many photos and videos of me and my kids and my friends that were posted by others and I need to save them all. I really lack in downtime, with two small kids, so it may be a while before I can get to that.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I guess I've been lucky with the group of friends that I have, or else just really good at blocking people, because I rarely see politics come up on Facebook. What I really wish I could filter out is sports talk, I could not care less. Facebook is a good way for me to see what my sisters and their kids are up to, as well as stay involved in my in-laws lives without having to actually visit them.

I rarely post myself, but when I do it's typically trip photos. I know my grandma in particular really enjoys them, and says it makes her feel like she's been on the trip with me. So, although I'm not really the type to share much about my life, if it makes her and other family feel more connected to me then I'll keep doing it. Some people (like my husband) act like if they get a Facebook profile they will suddenly be forced to post their personal views all the time. You can post as much or as little as you'd like, and no one will force you to share your opinions. I treat Facebook like a dinner party with coworkers; I might be willing to share some non-controversial parts of myself, but I sure as hell will not be touching politics or religion.

 

[Herbert]

I kind of feel that, as a society, we are not really ready for social media.

That statement can be applied to lots of technology. We tend to create stuff and send it out into the world without having a firm grasp or even a care as to how it will be used, and then we're playing catch up when it all goes to hell. He didn't invent social media but I'm not sure Zuckerberg could have foreseen what it would become and how it can be abused.

 

[Herbert]

Most of my facebook friends don't get too crazy with the political stuff but those that do, I just unfollow them. I've never considered unfriending someone over what they post on FB.
I've given serious thought to deactivating my account but what I really need to do is just use it less.

 

[cosmic mouse]

That statement can be applied to lots of technology. We tend to create stuff and send it out into the world without having a firm grasp or even a care as to how it will be used, and then we're playing catch up when it all goes to hell.

Not to mention the FDA and big pharma... as a society perhaps we need to slow down a bit and let some of the chips fall before trying to force them into a spot they weren't made for. All this hectic rushing around like proverbial chickens isn't good for the soul and I think the manner in which some of the tech is currently being used is a pretty good example of that.

Eventually, and after seeing a 35 year old friendship end because of a miscommunication over politics...

Ugh. I hate reading this, partly because my very best friend (of 35 years, no less) and I are on polar opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to politics. I hope we survive the current regime (and neither one of us is on FB either, so I can't even blame the internet if our friendship fails). There's a reason why I was taught not to talk freely of politics or religion in open forums when I was growing up.

 

[Herbert]

Not to mention the FDA and big pharma... as a society perhaps we need to slow down a bit and let some of the chips fall before trying to force them into a spot they weren't made for. All this hectic rushing around like proverbial chickens isn't good for the soul and I think the manner in which some of the tech is currently being used is a pretty good example of that.

Which will never happen because there's money to be made and damn everything else. That's all anybody cares about it seems. Yeah, let's legalize pot. Why? Because we can tax it. Nobody is thinking of the societal impact of that. All they see is the dollar signs. And there are even people advocating legalization of more dangerous drugs, for the same reason. Money wins over everything.

 

[cosmic mouse]

Money wins over everything.

Sadly. Especially when there is so much more in life... and this is one reason why I voluntarily went homeless in the mid-90s and lived in a Chevy van for around 6 months. When you drop out temporarily you can really see the flaws, trust me.