Contest: ENTER Movies Caption Contest #267: Comfortable Chair

Kirk: It's the "Turbo Shatner 2000". Security officer Bull Shannon recommended it.

 

Kirk: Did you read the sign hanging above the Captain's chair?

Saavik: I did indeed.

Kirk: Then, you know that Rule #1 is Admiral is always right and Rule #2 is if the Admiral is not right to refer to rule #1.

Saavik: I fail to see why a sign displaying circular logic is relevant to my asking you not to comment on my hairstyle as I find it offensive.

Kirk: Because I'm always right!



Worf: Get to the bridge, losers, we're going Borg fighting!




Uhura: Perhaps I could do a fan dance?

Spock: Commander, is that your solution to everything?

Uhura: Hasn't failed me yet.

 

"Captain's Log, Stardate 8324.3: Special commendation to Mister Scott for installing my new 'Dramatic Blue Key Light' directly over my chair. It serves no functional purpose whatsoever, but it really adds that special flair to all my shipwide announcements."


Worf: "So we finally get rid of the horseshoe behind the Captain's chair, but the security officer STILL has to stand up for their entire shift. We just can't win, man."


"Captain's Log, Stardate 9462.4: As per Captain Kirk's final orders, I have reinstituted obligatory miniskirts for all female crewmembers. Miss Uhura, please put Lt. Takashi on report for not showing off her gams."

 

Kirk: "This finger has boldly gone where you don't wanna know where it's gone before....."

 

KIRK: What? It's 100% real!

 

Spock: What's her name?
Uhura: Not sure but most of the crew refers to her as Yeoman Giggedy
Spock: And you say the captain and her did it in this chair?
Uhura: Well, there and.......other places <looks around tentatively>
Spock: Did they clean up afterwords?
Uhura: <sarcastic look> What do you think?
Spock: <right eyebrow goes up, activates intercom> RED ALERT! Spock to Sickbay.
McCoy: McCoy here
Spock: Decontamination protocol alpha one in effect on the bridge.
McCoy: It was Jim and Yeoman Giggedy wasn't it?

 

Kirk: This? This is the galactic sign for "Bring me that Orion slave girl"

 

Kirk: Wait a second Saavik, how have you graduated as a Lt. rather than an ensign? That'd be like me just instantly making captain! Completely unlikely and would never happen in any time line.





*Stick Comes in From off Camera and Pokes the dozing Dorn*

Dorn: Huh... what... you mean I've actually got a decent role in this one? Great! I hope that continues for the other films we make.




Uhura: Wait! I've finally figured out what God would need with a Star Ship!

 

Kirk: What... This old thing? Let's just say the Enterprise's rug wasn't the only thing to get refit




When Worf saw the sign, which he took to say enter & prize... he just naturally assumed...



Spock: While the offer is intriguing, now is not the time for another lute duet

 

"Bones, I told you I needed the cushion shaped like a donut."



Worf (thinking): "This is boring. Should have stayed on DS9."

"I'm sorry lieutenant, but it is illogical to order any of these TV sets to be changed to NBC just so we can watch the old reruns of the days of our lives or that soap opera of the same name. Besides, Captain Kangaroo is coming on and we also need to see his show trial, please go back to your post and tune in Klingon High Command and then switch monitor 2A7 to PBS for me and the Captain."

 

Kirk: Guess how many major motion pictures I'll be allowed to write, star in, and direct in my career, men

 

McCoy: Jim, stop picking your nose on the bridge!

 

Worf: Picard and Riker both died of old age waiting for this thread to be judged. Data's become a crazy cat person, La Forge prefers engines to people and there's no way in Gre-thor anyone would let the counsellor command. That leaves me. How can I help you?

 

Crusher (os, holding phaser rifle): I think you'll find Lieutenant Commander Worf, that chair is mine!

 

Gah, I forgot the good doctor.

 

Shatner surreptitiously glances over his shoulder and turns back.

Shatner (whispering): "Lenard's bicycle."

 

James T. Columbo: "Oh, there's just one more thing..."

 

SpaceCop: Sir, do you know how fast you were going back there?