Many of the lines from the 2 EMH in Message in a Bottle are real gems.
I recently rewatched "Threshold". It was as laughably bad as I remember, but I did enjoy it, mostly because there were some great lines.
EMH: His life signs are normal. A few elevated serotonin readings in the hypothalamus. From what I can tell, he's just asleep.
JANEWAY: Can you wake him?
EMH: I don't see why not.
(The EMH bends close to Paris' ear.)
EMH: Wake up, Lieutenant!
EMH: Hmm. It looks like he's having an allergic reaction. What did he ingest?
TORRES: Just a cup of Neelix's coffee.
EMH: It's a miracle he's still alive. This is strange.
TORRES: What is?
EMH: He's definitely having an allergic reaction. To the water in the coffee.
TORRES: He's allergic to water?
PARIS: Big funeral with lots of pretty girls all crying. Except Torres. Torres doesn't cry. Did you ever notice that? I don't trust people who don't cry. Of course, my father, he'd say crying is a sign of weakness. I never believed that. Do you cry?
EMH: It's not in my programme.
PARIS: Shame. You know, it's funny. What I remember most about being a kid are the times I spent in my room crying. I liked my room, though. It was quiet in there. People would leave me alone. I'd keep the door locked, read, play games. I lost my virginity in that room. Seventeen. Parents were away for the weekend.
EMH: I'll note that in your medical file.
CHAKOTAY: There are traces of human DNA. It's them. But I have to admit, I'm not sure which one is the Captain.
TUVOK: The female, obviously.
(Three baby salamanders emerge from a hole in the sand and slither off into the water.)
CHAKOTAY: I don't know how I'm going to enter this into the log.
TUVOK: I look forward to reading it.
JANEWAY: I've thought about having children, but I must say I never considered having them with you.
PARIS: Captain, I'm sorry. I, I don't know what to say, except I don't remember very much about, er, you know
JANEWAY: What makes you think it was your idea? Sometimes it's the female of the species that initiates mating. But apology accepted, nonetheless.
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