Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #475: Repairs

[2takesfrakes]

LaForge: "Here it is, Commander - the last vial for Spunknik-1. Within are frozen sperm and eggs from volunteers all over the ship. Once blasted into space, it will either serve as a library for Human Genetic Diversity, or as a greeting to some alien civilisation in the far-off, distant future ..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: Query. Why is it the successful operation of our systems is dependent on the specific arrangement of unmarked, easily removable strips with no record kept of prior configurations?
GEORDI: Two words. Mortgage code.

ANYA: If he slips, he could damage the ship's navigation system, leading to a slight delay in our arrival! Well, go ahead. Kill him.
WORF: I like your approach to problem solving.

CREWMAN 1: Warp core breach! The ship is going to explode! You know what this means?
CREWMAN 2: Yes. This timeline is going to get reset! We can do whatever we want!

RIKER: While I'm here...might as well add a new 'Wingman' subroutine.

GEORDI: And...we have nanites on the loose again. Somebody forgot to attach the locking mechanism.
WESLEY: Oops.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the special win

Riker *mutters* Two-headed creature for the Halloween party...good idea

Data: What?

Riker: Nothing

 

[Jedman67]

Unbeknownst to LaForge, this incident would mark the turning point in his career when he would be permanently stuck to the bottom of Starfleets promotion list, after it was discovered that he had switched the label for the replicator's "Earl Grey" module with "Quarktajino."

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW LH!

Geordi: Now, you're not going to start claiming this one is really alive as well are you Data?

Geordi: Bloody vacuumming. You never really get all the dust out with one of these things...

Geordi: Hey, I thought we kept the Cool Ant in there! I always wanted to meet him! That is neither an ant or especially cool!

Data: Sir, be truthful with me. Will I play the piano again?

Riker: Hurry up will you, I want this creepy bearded sex pest off the ship. I don't know how people can behave like that.

Why have you both gone awkwardly silent?

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Just as I thought - this unit's got a bad motivator.
Riker: He doesn't know what it does, does he.
Wesley: Not a clue.

Geordi: Ever wonder about running your own critical functions through an open tray of unfastened isolinear chips, Data?
Data: Get the fuck out of here Geordi.

Riker: You've met your match, Tic-Tac-Toe -playing chicken of Starbase 3.
Data: It's a living.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: I'm liking where this is headed.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Data: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Worf: "And all the ship's dustbusters have laser sights for cleaning efficiency."

Geordi: "Umm..."
Assistant whispering: "Call the bridge..."
Geordi: "Yeah."
Assistant whispering: "Coolant leak, we have a coolant leak!"
Geordi: "I know."
Assistant whispering: "Roll under the doors."
Geordi: "Will you shut up!"

Data: "Where is my body, Commander?"
Riker: "Deanna borrowed it, and a bucket of lube."
Data: "There goes my warranty..."

Riker: "What is it?"
Geordi: "It's to help us go."
Wesley: "Yeah, that exchange program with the Pakleds was a great idea."

 

[tharpdevenport]

GEORDI: I'm liking where this is headed.

Ensign: "Sir, trocorder readings indicate ..... sir, oh, sir, you programmed another holographic woman, didn't you?"

 

[LeadHead]

Sorry to be late again everyone. No time for captioning today, but will try to get thing back on track tomorrow.

 

[Seven of Five]

Crewman: What's the deal? Does the Captain want to draw smiley faces on pink smoke this time?
Picard (over the comm): Party pooper.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

And winning the award for Beautiful but Deadly is.. Coolant Leak!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOLDIE: This isn't one of those vampiric clouds I read about in History class, is it?
LAFORGE: Do you smell something sweet? Like honey?
GOLDIE: Damn....

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!