TNG Caption This! #426: Ready for Captioning

Hello everyone! Sorry for the short contest time, but there's no way I could get this going during the next 4 days.




First up to the plate, we have the "Yeah, go with that story" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Technical Support" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "To Be Continued..." Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Pretty Please" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Interstellar Shopping" Award, going to:

As happens from time to time, 2 entire battle it out in my brain for the KBL. In most cases, my brain is destroyed and both of the entries are winners! Pleeze sned repare crw 2 put brian bac togeter...

And...

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now... a new contest!











Enjoy!

 

Picard: We've just been through an extremely dangerous mission. Many of you likely need support and comforting words to calm down now.

...

I'll be in my Ready Room.



Data: Geordi, why did you set this up in this spot?

La Forge: It now blocks the isolation door, Doctor Crusher said my back can't handle the "In before the lock" Drop and roll for awhile.



Romulan: Want to die, wearing sash.

Worf: Fine, I'll give blood. Just NEVER touch the sash again.



Ro: Don't worry Guinan, all he's ever getting off of me is the earring.



Riker: Uh-oh. Did anyone remember to bring a phaser?

 

Data: Do you know this man Commander?

Riker: Judging by the diagram on the display, I believe he's the doctor who did Deanna's breast implants.

 

Ro: "Geez, why all the smirks! They know we're just going to your quarters to look at your etchings, right?"
Riker: "Wait. You know that's not what I really meant, right?"

 

T4TW LeadHead!

Picard: Number One, do you know why the Borg assimilated the stripper?
Riker: Sir?
Picard: To get the Bust of Both Worlds.
Crusher: Oh that Jean Luc.




Data: There: I have put a stasis field around our condom supply in order to prevent them from expiring. Who's laughing now, spacetime continuum!
Geordi: In your face, 24th century casual sexual mores!





Romulan: I'm with you every day, Worf. Every time you look at this sash, you're looking at me. Every time you touch it, it's me.
Worf: Bad day to leave my suicide dagger in my other pants....




Ro: Who's that Irish guy surrounded by all the perky young female ensigns and crying in his ale?
Riker: Best not to ask.




Beverly: Finally Jean Luc! There's no one around and we can be free to let our passions take us wherever they will!
Geordi<whispers>: All right!
Picard: Yes Beverly - just let me assemble my flute.
Riker: Transporter room! Emergency beamout!

 

TFTW LH!




Riker: Reporting for wing man duties Sir!

Picard: Not out loud number one!

Crusher: No... it's working.

Picard: Carry on.





Data: So we have put this mysterious unknown substance that destroyed the other ship in a box?

Geordi: Yep.

Data: In engineering, the most vital and sensitive part of the ship?

Geordi: Oh yes.

Data: Right next to the highly explosive warp core as well?

Geordi: Definitely.

Data: With only one of our famously fallible force fields to protect us all from certain doom?

Geordi: Right.

Data: Even though we have all sorts of labs and shit in parts of the ship that won't kill us all if they get damaged?

Geordi: This is what we find.

Data: I think you spent too much time with those Pakleds.





Romulan: This... isn't real silver. Cough up the blood biatch or I'm telling everyone you wear fake bling.




Ro: No, it's nothing sexual, it's actually a disciplinary thing. He's going to chew me out.




Riker: Damn you aliens, we know you stole Geordi's head, just tell us where you've hidden it!

 

Geordi: "I'm not touching that!!"
Data: "Where's Wesley?"


Riker: "HEY! Who turned out the lights?"

 

Ro: Stop looking at my ass ... 21st century perverts!

 

CRUSHER: Come on, tell him.
PICARD: That alien that took me over for a moment on Taganatuga IV, imprinted my mind with a thought that I must fire my first officer.
RIKER: And you're actually thinking about it?
PICARD: Well actually, even without that alien thought thingy, I might have been thinking about it...



DATA: That doesn't look completely harmless.
LA FORGE: Trust me Data, if you touch it, you will finally have emotions and you'll be promoted to captain instantly, and as you know, this boat really needs a new one and fast!
Do I really have any reason to lie to you?



WORF: Dude, if you really want a sash, you'll have to get your own, I'm not going to give you mine!
ROMULAN: But yours totally matches the thing on my temple!



LAREN: I wonder what Riker has in his quarters that he just has to show me!?
RIKER: (mumbles to himself) If you only knew. You really should've paid more attention on the "your superior officer might be a manwhore" lecture at the academy...



RIKER: Hey Data, you think this mood lighting would impress that new cute ensign at stellar cartography?
DATA: Dude, you just reprogrammed ME, I'm not sure I am a straight robot anymore...
LA FORGE: Not this again...

 

Bar Guy: Can't help it. I'm into twelve year old boys, and your ass is absolutely perfect.

 

I guess... I'm a pervert then...

 

Ro: "Hey! I heard that, you creeps!"
Riker: "They're talking about me."
Ro: "Oh. Never mind!"

 

Ro: Commander Riker has a important task for me.

Guinan: Away mission?

Ro: No, he wants me to spend a week in a tanning salon.

 

CRUSHER: Oh, Jean-Luc...

♫Wah wah wah waaaah!♪

ANNOUNCER: Star Trek the Next Generation is filmed before a live studio audience.

 

Data: Commander, all indications are that there is some serious lens flare on the other side of this black hole.

 

Romulan: If you get back to Earth and you see a man, say, in his late fifties taking a hard look across a crowded room.... Hey, you never know.
Worf: Subcommander, you've told me more about weird accoutrements in an hour than I learned my last year in the Academy.
Romulan: Hey, I've known you a whole day now, Lieutenant. I won't salute if you won't. What did she call you? Worf?
Worf: Most everybody just calls me Lieutenant Worf. My mother calls me Vorf.
Romulan: Okay, Worf.
Worf: No, I think maybe I'd like it better if you called me Vorf.
Romulan: Vorf.
Picard <com>: This is the Captain. Rom Com does not refer to Romulans. That is all.

 

Worf: So Vulcanised rubber isn't Spock's birth control?

 

TFTW



Data: Data to the bridge, we've discovered that the life-form stimulates hair growth.



Data: So is Spot in there or not?



Romulan: Tell my *cough* Tell my wife. Tell her *cough* Tell my wife this is the colour I want the bathroom done in.



Guinan: What an ass...

Ro: Thanks.

Guinan: Let me finish...what an ass hole.

Riker:Thanks.



Riker: What's that over there?

Data: The light switch.

 

TFTW!


Picard: I think I'm going to take up needlepoint...

Crusher: Jean-Luc, please, I'm begging you, please don't!

Picard: I'm going to make it sew! Make it sew, Will!



Geordi: So, Data, what do you think of my DiY TARDIS console?



Romulan: It's nice, but I can make one out of soda pop-tops. In fact, I have an Etsy store that you may find interesting.



Ro: ...and if the Commander's quarters is rockin', don't come a knockin'



Riker: Chief O'Brien?

O'Brien: Please don't tell Keiko I'm here!