TNG Caption This! #391: Here we come!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, sorry that I'm a little late in the weekend getting this one started. Anyhoo, Captain, is anything we should know?

First up to the plate, we have the "Command Track" Award, going to:

Q: (OS) What if I told you that you would remain a commander and Picard's first officer for the next 15 years?

Next, we have the "Number One's Human Resources Complaint" Award, going to:

Picard: "Mr. Worf, arm a full spread pf photon torpedos and prepare to fire on my mark."

Worf: "Yes, sir!"

Picard: "Mr. Laforge, prepare to jump to warp nine after Mr. Worf fires."

Geordi: "Aye, sir."

Picard: "Number one, pulls your hands out and smell them."

Riker: "Yes, sir," FFFIIIUUUMMM, "Hey, wait a second!"

Picard: "Always remember how I made you do that, second in command."

Next, we have the "Oh, PLEASE NOOOOOOO!" Award, going to:

Troi: It's a vampire!

Next, we have the "Benevolent Leadership" Award, going to:

PICARD: I guess the meeting is at 0800. Computer, cancel the reprimand to the senior staff.

Next, we have the "Quality Consoles" Award, going to:

JAMESON: Does it explode easily?
WORF: It only needs a little disruptor shot to kill the poor nameless ensign who's there.
JAMESON: Excellent!

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental: Commander Riker is still on the planet adapting to his new omnipotent powers of Q, which for some reason involves the love theme from The Bodyguard in the original soprano.

Jameson: "Got all that?"

Worf: "Understood, Admiral Daniels. I mean Beam...er...Guiness?"

Jameson: "Not this again..."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

The next contest will feature (At least one, maybe more) special holiday themed awards. I am still accepting photoshop submissions (similar to the Klingon Belly Laugh and Jean-Luc's favorite Log entry) in the holiday theme. If you are interested, please PM your award to me for use in the next two contests! Potential examples would be "Q's Stalking Stuffer" (Misspelled on purpose, Poor Jean-Luc) "Santa Claus is coming on Screen!" "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas in Ten Forward" "The Best of Both Presents" "Goldshirt got run over by a Reindeer"

Thanks for your attention, lets get to the new photos!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Who called Red Alert? I GET TO DO THAT!

Troi: Mother, I hope you like this planet I bought you, Audrey 2.

Wesley: At this point in the flight, I was searching for a wi-fi signal to update my Spacebook status.

Judge: William T. Riker, for the heinous crime of making us look ridiculous, we sentence you to be clean shaven in Insurrection!

Riker Wait, if you're here, who's watching Alexander?

Worf: Oh, SHI-

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Captain's Log--I have had enough. The line must be drawn here, no farther! We will find the head or die trying! Oh, and the Romulans are on their way, and we're intercepting them or something.

Geordi: Look, I know this is weird, but you agreed. I remember, because it's something I will never forget. We were in a counseling session and I asked you out, and you felt bad for me, so you said, "Yes." Damn it, Counselor, the VISOR can pick up body heat, I know you're not a tree.

Deanna: Fine. Let's just get this over with. Just dessert, something with a lot of chocolate. No touching and if you ever speak of this...

Geordi: Counselor, please. This isn't my first pity date, I know the rules.

Tribunal Member #1: This thing have a commentary track?

Tribunal Member #2: What aspect ratio is this in? Is it widescreen? I just can't watch it if it's widescreen!

Tribunal Member #3: Another flight recorder video? How derivative! Can't they make anything original, here?

Wesley: Sirs, you do know that this is a key piece of evidence which could end all of our careers in Starfleet.

Picard: Shut up, Wesley, I'm trying to watch this!

Riker: He's about this high? Answers to the name Jean-Luc Picard? Bald? No? Haven't seen him? Damn it, where could he have gone? I swear, turn your back one second on him, he sees some archelogical display or a kiosk selling tea, and bam! Lost captain! Every time, every time! You know this is why he's not allowed on away missions!

Riker: I can't believe you listened to my advice on Deanna! Man, you know I've had a thing for her since we broke up! I mean, come on, coming to an ex for advice? It'd be like if I asked you to hook me up with K'ehleyr. Which, by the way, I didn't need your help on. Alexander? Hell, he's probably mine. It would explain how he's such a horrible Klingon warrior, huh?
http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Rat Boy]

Crew: "Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to battlestations we go!"

Troi: "You expect me to commit to a multi-seasonal plant when you can't commit to me, Will?"

Wesley: "Nope. Can't explain why our space helmets leave the tops of our heads bare."

J'naii: "Just stop already, Commander. We know enough of your culture that you're just signaling for a touchback, not a release of Soren."

Worf: "Simply Orange? By Kahless, you probably use Safeway brand mouthwash, too."

Riker: "And how!"

 

[Hutchy01]

Picard: Let's hope the night crew didn't face the borg while we were in bed!

Troi: If you would like to boldly go where every man has gone before

Wesley: And this is how I destroyed the death star

Riker: You have failed me for the last time , Admiral

 

[doubleohfive]

After 25 years of fans asking "What would Wesley do with a holodeck?" many fans were ultimately disappointed when he premiered his first holoprogram to the crew.

 

[AgentCoop]

Captain's Log, Supplemental: My idea to build team unity with a weekly game of "Follow The Leader" appears to be yielding results.

Riker: Hey, remember that time I talked you out of killing yourself?
Worf: Yes.
Riker: If I had known you were going to hook up with Deanna, I would've sharpened your d'k tahg for you.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Troi's show "Power Plants", wasn't quite the youtube sensation she hoped for.

ADMIRAL: I keep hearing reference to someone called "Maverick". Who is that?

WES: That's me, sir.

ADMIRAL: Riiiight.

Captain's Log Supplemental: I can't shake the feeling I'm being followed.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Riker out!

 

[Rat Boy]

It was around hour three of Deanna's decoration criticisms that Worf decided it wasn't going to work out.

Riker: "So...she redid your quarters, eh?"

 

[doubleohfive]

Riker out!

Winner!

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Where's Kolya?
J'naii: We're the J'naii, dumbass. You want the Genii.
Riker: Well that explains why Chief O'Brien had no tactical information on them.
J'naii: Also, the Force isn't real. Also, wrong franchise. Again.
Riker: Well that explains why Wesley didn't build Data from spare pod racing parts - but not their annoying whining about every little thing! Say, you're pretty sassy for a Romulan Ambassador, Cretak!
J'naii: Oh that one he gets right.

 

[huskers57]

Alpine kickin' another selection
The girlies keep lookin' in my direction
My tank is full
My fame is strong
I got it like that
So I'm rollin' on...

Off-screen Announcer: "Up next, a lovely table accent from 1-800-FLOWERS. When you need to send the freshest floral arrangements to your loved ones, be sure to contact 1-800-FLOWERS. This lovely gift can be yours, if THE PRICE IS RIGHT!"

Wesley: "This is where I switched off my targeting computer."

Admiral: "What was wrong?"

Wesley: "Nothing. I was alright."

Admiral: "and then the crash?"

Wesley ...

Riker: "How many fingers do you see?"

Witness ....

Riker: "Freaky, ain't it!?"

 

[Ithekro]

Gentlemen, after many centuries, wars, governmental changes, and testing, I present to you, "Star Citizen"!

 

[Nerys Myk]

BROOKIE: Essquite.

FRIEND: Endeligance.

BROOKIE: Stylist.

FRIEND: Ho Cature.

FRIEND: The Nicest. Will I Wear This Fashions

BROOKIE: You'll feel like you're a star. In a Will Iam Suess gown.

BROOKIE: Hi, we're not Porn Stars anymore. I'm Brookie.

FRIEND: And you can too.

BROOKIE: And we're not porn stars anymore. But that doesn't mean we don't have a sense of style

DEEPINA: Did somebody say sense?

BROOKIE and FRIEND: No no, not yet.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win!

Wesley: After Tom gave the order for the turn, I got an message from that annoying cadet who works for the paper…Who was that idiot, Sito?…

Sito: Harry Kim

Wesley: right…what a moron…He'd never amount to anything. Anyway, after Harry Kim sent me the message, I...

 

[Smellincoffee]

Troi: And now our next segment, How to Identify Household Plants From Not So Very Far Away. Ahem. The Larch.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Judge: "Yeeeaaahhh, Federation's Got Talent is kind of looking for something else..."

(Dollmaker)

 

[Rat Boy]

Crusher: "...and if you pledge 10 bricks of gold pressed latinum to our Star Citizen Kickstarter..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: No. I step on the bridge first, THEN you.

HOLOGRAPHIC BOB BARKER: And Deanna won't have a problem driving to the golf course in...HER NEW CAR!

WESLEY: I thought that was a diamond slot formation.
COMMANDER: There's no way a qualified pilot would ever mistake a diamond slot formation for a star formation.
LIEUTENANT: Actually...if you take a look at his piloting exam.
COMMANDER: Oh, right. Picard pulled strings for him.

RIKER: She HAS to be female. Otherwise, I wouldn't be into her! I mean, right? Right?!

WORF: Remember this time not to drink the quarter.
RIKER: Very funny, Worf. You may have struck first, but William T Riker never loses a drinking game.