Zardoz speaks: This Forum Need an Intro Thread

Zardoz speaks to you. The third and fourth seasons were good, the finale and Les Moonves are evil. Zardoz wishes the show had tried to be more different, as those charged with it had promised. The last two seasons were better, but were ruined by its finale. It angered Zardoz enough to vomit guns and ammunition, and to order his minions to go forth and kill.

Zardoz has spoken.

 

Zardoz speaks. Perhaps Zardoz's eyes are beginning to fail him. Zardoz deserves his own thread anyway. Go forth and post.

Zardoz has spoken.

 

Zardoz seems to enjoy referring to Zardoz in the third person. Is Zardoz, in fact, The Rock?

 

Zardoz speaks.

No, Zardoz is not The Rock, though he does appear to be a giant floating head made of rock. Zardoz simply always refers to himself in the third person. He has a nice deep, booming voice, so this form of narration goes well with it. Not to mention that Zardoz is considered a god in the out lands.

Zardoz has spoken.

 

I hear the gun is good, can you confirm this?

 

^
The penis is evil, though. Or so I'm told.

 

I don't know much about the troglodytes that live in the outlands, but on this board I'm the only god. That's why I had the "The" added a few months ago, to make it official.

And I don't need to put on a fake booming voice to attract people's awe, they are charmed by my posh/scuzzy/Irish accent, the one that makes people say "You're not from round here, are you?" even though I am. Then they call be a spa and laugh.

I wish I had a cool, booming voice.