Your reasons for stuff!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Enterprise' started by commodore64, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. Odon

    Odon Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Nov 5, 2001
    Brisbane, Australia
    Where were the MACO's when Trip was killed?
    Trying on their new red shirts.

    How come none of the crew were turned inside out in the Expanse?
    They were. Porthos ate the evidence.

    Why is Archer portrayed as suffering constant sexual tension?
    Last time he jerked off, his cum gained sentience and took over the cargo bay in 'Vox Sola'.

    Why didn't we hear anything more about Boomers after Season Two?
    They turned out to be frakking Cylons.

    Why didn't Archer remember the name of the Ferengi?
    Wouldn't you forget them if you could?

    Why did a curtain instead of a hologram hide the sensor array on P'Jem?
    Budget cuts in the Vulcan Security Directorate.

    Why did Trip in Strange New World think T'Pol was in league with silicone-based lifeforms?
    He could see two of them on her chest.

    Why is Phlox only seen giving that humungous smile twice?
    If he keeps doing it his head falls off.

    Why do Andorians have immobile antennae in the Original Series?
    The mutative virus created from Andorian experiments with Augments.

    Why did Starfleet change from jumpsuits to miniskirts?
    The election of the Male Chauvinist Party in 2159.

    Why is Hoshi obsessed with carrots?
    No boyfriend.

    Why is there bird shit on the MACO uniforms?
    Camouflage. They didn't realise the avian Xindi were extinct.

    Why does Archer sway from side to side when he walks?
    A race memory inherited from ye ancient sailing captains.

    What did the Klingon High Councilor say to Archer & Hoshi in 'Broken Bow'?
    "We heard Starfleet captains were bald! You must be wearing a tribble on your head! This insult will lead to decades of war with our Empire!"

    Why does Phlox use eels and bat droppings to treat patients?
    He's a quack.

    Why did Sim have a Florida accent, even though he grew up on Enterprise?
    Because he's from Missouri.
    (nope, still doesn't make sense)

    Why did Trip stop seeing Corporal Amanda Cole?
    He didn't want T'Pol to crush his nuts into a pecan pie.

    Why didn't T'Pol and Cole fight over Trip in a nude catfight in the decontamination room?
    Because TPTB have no appreciation of art.

    How did Phlox deflate his face after the bar brawl in Home?
    Edosian suckerfish.

    How could Trip keep working while exhausted?
    Daniels gave him a flask of "Captain Janeway's Special Blend".

    How did the MACO's defeat the superior weaponry of the Xindi?
    Xindi reptilians – Lowered the temperature of the ship.
    Xindi arboreals – Hair loss virus (with devastating consequences for Starfleet captains)
    Xindi insectoids – Large can of RAID.
  2. MeanJoePhaser

    MeanJoePhaser Admiral

    Aug 21, 2003
    Missile Command
    What's the deal with Trip's discussion about STC, but then his claim he never graduated from it?

    He's a poser.

    * Why in the wide world of sports did T'Pol do drugs?

    All the kewl kids were doing them.

    * Why did Trip sound like he was from Texas, and not Florida?

    All his ex's live in Texas, that's why he hangs his hat in Tallahassee.

    * Why did T'Pol not dress like other Vulcans?

    Because she's got a great figure.

    * Why did no one remember from E2 that Trip and T'Pol had a baby?

    Because everyone from the E2 died and thus no longer have brains to remember anything.

    * What's the deal with Lorian?

    He's jealous of his stylish sister, L'Oreal.

    **Why did Hoshi hide the fact that she had a black belt?**

    Because it clashed with her blue uniform.

    **Why did Archer invite a Vulcan -- a member of the one species he despises in all the galaxy (until the Xindi attack, anyway) -- to be his first officer?**

    Because she's got a great figure.

    **Why did Trip rescue Princess PainInTheAss?**

    So he could tap that ass.

    **Why didn't Archer listen to Trip when he questioned Dr. Deadalus' actions and intentions despite the obvious fact that the guy got one of his crewmen killed?**

    The episode would've ended at least 15 minutes too early.
  3. Odon

    Odon Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Nov 5, 2001
    Brisbane, Australia
    Why did Hoshi hide the fact that she had a black belt?
    She wanted to conceal her secret identity as Buffy the Reman Slayer.

    What were the first words translated from Surak's obelisk?
    Andorians are unholy. Kill them all.

    How was T'Pol's Trellium-D addiction cured?
    The Vulcan Mind Enema.

    How was T'Pol's Pa'nar syndrome cured?
    The Vulcan Reset Button.

    How was T'Pol's phobia of jazz music cured?
    The Vulcan Ear Plugs.