Write a 2-Sentence Horror Story. GO!

[Non Sync]

We don't need to take care of the environment. The rapture is nearing.

(There are a lot of people who actually say this.)

We don't need to take care of the environment as the rapture is nearing. Only then did we discover that heaven is on Earth.

 

[Oddish]

Doughnuts have been banned by the federal government.

No second sentence required.

 

[auntiehill]

Greg Abbott.

In charge of a whole state.

 

[Oddish]

We don't need to take care of the environment as the rapture is nearing.

Then when it happens, and we stand before the Celestial Throne of God, He looks at us and says... "why'd you trash My creation like that?"

 

[Locutus of Bored]

While a father is tucking his only son into bed, his child says to him, "Daddy, can you scare off the monster hiding under my bed?" Amused but wanting to be reassuring, the father kneels down to look under the bed, and is shockingly confronted by his terrified son again, who whispers "Daddy, there's a monster in my bed."

 

[Jayson1]

Astronaut Kyle Carver lands his ship on hot alien planet, filled with massive Volcano's and lava rivers. Satan shows up and says "Welcome home Kyle."

 

[SithHappens]

My wife turned to me and asked
"Does my bum look big in this?"

 

[Oddish]

Ooooo, scary. Safest counter is "you're beautiful no matter what you're wearing".

 

[Silvercrest]

The results of the 2024 election are in.

Spoiler: The next president of the United States of America is

Donald J. Trump.

 

[Oddish]

The results of the 2024 election are in.

That's likely part III in a trilogy.
Part 1 - 2016. We voted in a maniac.
Part 2 - 2020. We voted in a turnip.
Part 3 - 2024. God only knows what those two hapless bands of clowns we call the Democratic and Republican parties will offer us then.

 

[Jayson1]

A nice suburban mom asks her two eight year old daughters what they would like to eat for lunch. They say "You mommy."

 

[Oddish]

Mileena clones?

 

[STEPhon IT]

The results of the 2024 election are in.

Spoiler: The next president of the United States of America is

Donald J. Trump.

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Spoiler: The Highest votes on election Saturday

Nothing can be as bad as the soulless, dogshit of a POTUS named Joe Biden.

 

[publiusr]

Ooooo, scary. Safest counter is "you're beautiful no matter what you're wearing".

You’ll still get the eye roll….I go with Jet Black’s retort from Cowboy Bebop:

“Don’t know and have no opinion.”

Then there was a man who would sing gospel every time his wife scolded him:

Did you get the-
I SHALL NOT BE—I SHALL NOT BE MOVED.

“This garbage isn’t going to take itself ou—
I SHALL NOT BE—-I SHALL NOT BE MOVED.

Monsters of the Id
https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2022...-in-the-World-of-the-Paranormal-AVOID-THEM-/#
https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/after-death-youre-aware-that-youve-died-scientists-claim/

 

[Mrs. Silvercrest]

I am in pain.
Several days later I am still in pain.

 

[dupersuper]

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Spoiler: The Highest votes on election Saturday

Nothing can be as bad as the soulless, dogshit of a POTUS named Joe Biden.

Well, you're certainly scaring me now...

 

[Sgt_G]

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Spoiler: The Highest votes on election Saturday

Nothing can be as bad as the soulless, dogshit of a POTUS named Joe Biden.

Spoiler: Oh, but there is something worse....

One-sentence horror: If Biden dies, Harris takes over.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I know it's natural to inject politics into these sort of things, but can we leave the political stuff, of any background, at the door for the sake of preserving the OP's thread?

 

[Oddish]

The political ones are the most fun, but fine.
I had an actual nightmare once.

I have to go on and play Harold Hill in "The Music Man" in 30 seconds.
I never rehearsed.

[The Major General in "The Pirates of Penzance" also works]

 

[Locutus of Bored]

The political ones are the most fun, but fine.

Yes, it's loads of fun that I have to sit here and pretend that there's some sort of false equivalency between people cheerleading for an actual no-hyperbole fascist (I know you aren't the one doing that, Oddish) who just called for setting up Sanctuary Districts in the wilderness for homeless people for real just in time for the Bell Riots (I hear Manzanar is lovely this time of year if you're shopping for concentration camps), executions for minor drug offenses (which have been shown to be overwhelmingly biased against the black community) because he's a big fan of his friend Duterte's extrajudicial mass killings and disappearances of thousands of people in the Philippines, reinstatement of 'Stop & Frisk' policy by police which was objectively studied as doing nothing to reduce crime and just resulted in harassing innocent minorities going about their day (mostly black people), and removal of police liability for police extrajudicial killings, beatings, brutality, and corruption, because he's so used to being above the law himself that why not extend that to the not at all systemically racially biased police force, beyond the numerous protections they already have I mean, since so few of them are actually punished.

Don't believe me, it's all in his words on conservative-run Newsmax with ads for gold coins popping up right in the middle of it, because the fascists have to finance their takeover. Are they fake news?

Twitter link with Newsmax video of the speech.

https://trending-town.com/mass-executions-internment-camps-and-martial-law/

Mass executions, internment camps and martial law
July 27, 2022

Newsmax, which broadcast Trump’s speech live, had perfect timing in its ads. Trump spent a large part of the speech complaining about how all those unsightly homeless people marred his view of the cities and made the scenes outside of his limo unpleasant. Therefore, he advocated that all homeless people be rounded up and driven out of the cities, out of sight of those deemed wealthy enough to stay. Trump did not say exactly where he wanted the homeless to be sent, other than “large plots of cheap land.” Places like Tule Lake, California; Minidoka, Idaho; and Heart Mountain, Wyoming. These camps, Trump insisted, could be created “in a day.” And then everything would be better.

As Trump pushed for homeless people to be moved out of cities so they could be “clean and beautiful” and brought to a new generation of apple orchards Newsmax decided to split the screen with an ad selling gold coins to Trump supporters. Because there is no bottom for disdain.

As he points out, Trump did not fail to pay tribute to the smaller ways in which the police can exercise authority over the population, display racism and cause systematic misery. He called for “stop and frisk” policies that have proven blatantly ineffective at anything except giving police an excuse to harass Black people. He also opposed the idea of taking out the police “your protection from liability in any way, shape or form” to prevent the police from facing any consequences when executing people on the streets.

In short, Trump wants mass executions for drugs, mass incarceration for the poor, and unlimited authority for the police. That is his formula for America. Then the cities will be beautiful. Like in China.

Repeatedly, while expressing his love for law and order, Trump simply ignored the fact that he had encouraged his supporters to join a violent riot in which people were killed and hundreds of police officers were injured. He also ignored how he planned and executed that assault in the service of a coup plot designed to completely grind any concept of “law” to dust.

But wait. it gets better

Nowhere was the level of irony more crushing than when Trump actually started talking about calling in the National Guard. “Where there is a real breakdown of law and order,” Trump said, “…then the federal government should send in the National Guard to restore order and ensure peace without having to wait for the approval of some governor who thinks that it is politically incorrect to call them”.

Aside from taking the governors out of the circuit so that the entire National Guard became his personal police force, nowhere did Trump mention that when he had the chance to call in the National Guard to stop the assault on Capitol Hill, he refused to take that action? It fell to Mike Pence to finally get the Guard moving, while Trump sat in the White House dining room throwing ketchup on the walls and worrying that his insurgents couldn’t hang anyone.

Trump openly described a nation in which he would be in sole charge of a national police force, the police would be exempt from the consequences of their actions, the execution would take place immediately, after “a very speedy trial,” and millions of Americans would be confined to internment camps without ever being charged with a crime.

That is what you are selling. This is not about “law and order,” which Trump is not interested in at all. It’s about authority and brutality.

But the most horrible thing is that there are buyers.

Or, for another example mentioned in the thread (thankfully negatively), the Governor who has removed all semblance of women's bodily autonomy and turned Texas into Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale.

But yeah, Joe Biden, who's looking to be the next Jimmy Carter (and not in the Habitat for Humanity sense), and for some inexplicable reason Kamala Harris are even worse (I wonder what it could be about her, because she hasn't really done anything so far seeing as she's VP... hmmm) than Donald Fucking Trump, actual no-shit fascist. Destroying the country and getting untold people killed is but a small price to pay for "owning the Libs", right?

So, you know what, have your "fun" political commentary, because I'm not going to sit here and pretend that people cheerleading for a Nazi-wannabe is okay. You convinced me.

To paraphrase Batman, "You wanna get nuts!? Let's get nuts." Bring on the batshit false equivalencies and fascist apologism.

Oh, sorry, was that more than two-sentences?