And I have already said, more than once, that she did do it just the one time and she stopped after she was corrected. But it still happened.I think you're over simplifying. Because Riker admits he just tried to avoid personal pronouns entirely so was skirting the issue. Finally he struggles with it so much that he he asks Soran should he use "it".
Now you could argue that Riker is more tactful, as he asked Soran if they could be referred to as it. But it was the elephant on the room for him.
Pulaski should have perhaps asked, but her natural assumption was computers don't have genders. And there was nothing else in Starfleet that she'd have ever met for this to be an issue. She - like Riker's instinct was - was to reach for "it".
I mean do you use AI? Did you, the first time you used it, ask its pronoun preferences? I think people assign bad intent to Pulaski as they the viewer have seen Data and identify with him as a he.
Riker also didn't do his homework remember... he was assigned to COMMAND Data and didn't know his rank was earned properly.
The funny thing is that it was just literally once... she never deliberately mis-gendered him and once she knew he was assigned a gender she went with it. But of course with TV that will be there forever more watched again and again...
My entire point, as I stated multiple times, was that she grew as a character and learned to respect Data as a person, and became an actual advocate for his opinions later on.
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